


The Lives We Lead

by Gameguy199



Series: STUDENT [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: College, Death, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, Turtlecest, tcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 00:40:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 68,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3431669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gameguy199/pseuds/Gameguy199
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a couple Leo and Mikey are in a precarious situation. If they get caught, Leo will loose his teaching job and Mikey could be expelled from college. But this isn't enough to scare either of them away.</p><p>However a single phone call is enough to throw their 'simple' lives into chaos. Now Leo has to go back to his home town to face a family loss that might just tear him apart and threaten his new relationship with Mikey.</p><p>But Mikey and Leo aren't the only ones who are facing trouble.</p><p>Raphael and Donnie have their own issues to deal with. While at the same time trying to understand the odd attraction they seem to be developing for each other.</p><p>Can Leo and Mikey remain a couple despite Leo's family drama?</p><p>Can Donnie work through his own sense of personal loneliness?</p><p>Can Raphael keep his cool while continuing to play for the football team that assaulted his brother?</p><p>Only time will tell....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

 

 

November came, bringing with a blast of cold that made Mikey’s teeth rattle as he tugged his jacket in closer around his body. There hadn’t been any snow yet; but if the weather man’s reports were true then the white powder was quickly coming for them. Walking down the sidewalk Mikey brought his hands to his mouth and breathed against his skin, watching as his breath become steam that wafted up into the air. The cold air only served to dampen his already slightly depressed mood. For the last 2 weeks he’d been sending out job applications and resumes to just about every place he could think of. Yet he’d always gotten the same response, telling him that he didn’t fit their needs, or that they weren’t hiring, or that they simply weren’t interested in hiring him. his shoulders slumped forward as he sighed. Leo had said he could easily get Mikey a job working at the school; but he’d turned him down. He wanted to find a job on his own, but that was turning out to be MUCH harder then he’d thought it would be. His school schedule, skill set, and personal preference made finding a job difficult. Trudging by a restaurant Mikey noticed the ‘now hiring’ sign in the window. He really didn’t want to work with food again. when he’d been 16 he’d worked at a fast food restaurant for almost 6 months before quitting that particular brand of hell. Why would anyone work at a place where the customers were rude, the managers were jerks, and you constantly burned yourself while making the food?

 

Sighing again Mikey dropped himself down onto a bench and waiting for the bus to arrive and take him back home. Leo had offered to drive him around but again Mikey had refused. He didn’t want to have to rely on Leo all the time. He wanted to be able to provide for himself. As he waited a faint breeze picked up making him shiver slightly, as he again tugged his jacket in closer. Luckily he did not have to wait long for the bus, clambering on Mikey flashed his bus pass at the driver before taking his seat and waiting as the bus rumbled along the road until it reached his stop a half hour later. Signaling the bus to stop Mikey got off and began walking. The neighborhood had changed again, gone were the scary or dramatic decorations of Halloween, instead replaced by a sea of oranges, reds and browns as the leave fell from the trees. Every so often Mikey would wave to a neighbor as he or she worked, raking up the leaves that had fallen. Reaching the house Mikey shuddered as he passed from the cold outside world, to the warm toasty inside world. Tugging his jacket off Mikey hung the article up before moving into the living room, flopping himself down on the couch with a small groan. Burying his head against one of the couch cushions Mikey let out a loud groan that was muffled by the cushion. A second later Leo’s voice spoke from the doorway.

“No luck?”

Mikey didn’t get up from the cushion, but still shook his head.

He felt the cushion next to him descend as Leo sat down next to him. a moment later he groaned again as gently fingers began scratching and rubbing his shoulders and shell.

“Mikey, you don't have to do this.”

But again Mikey shook his head slowly sitting up as he did so.

“no…..no I do. I……..I don't want you to have to buy me stuff. I want to be able to pay for myself.”

He leaned sideways resting his head against Leo’s shoulder as he gripped his hands, warming the still cold fingers.

“ok Mikey. But are you sure you don't want any help? I could easily get you a job as a teacher’s aid ……maybe even as my own personal aid.”

The last part came out slightly husky; and it made Mikey blush as he imagine what his new duties might entail. His mind rapidly constructing a scene where he and Leo were making out in Leo’s classroom.

“no……..as much as I’d like to………….I need to find a real job.”

He groaned again as Leo shifted in, nuzzling his neck as he spoke.

“ok Mikey.”

Mikey’s eyes drifted closed as Leo continued to nuzzle his neck. Things had become almost perfect for him. Since Halloween Leo seemed to have relaxed a bit. The older turtle was much more affectionate, nuzzling, kissing, and touching Mikey a lot more. Even at night he’d grip Mikey’s body with more certainty, as they slept. Even their ‘private’ time felt different. They’d yet to have sex again, but that didn’t stop Leo from giving Mikey all the attention he could ever want. Mikey barely had to voice his wants or needs before Leo was on him, kissing, groping, and rubbing against his body; ding his best to sate any desire Mikey could possibly have. Mikey groaned again as Leo’s arms moved, wrapping around his shoulder before gently tugging him down so they were lying together on the couch. Moving slowly Mikey rolled over so he was looking at Leo who leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. In the back of his mind Mikey could not help but laugh at himself. Before he’d met Leo he’d thought ‘love’ just meant having A LOT of sex with the same person. But since Halloween he’s views had changed. He’d grown to love Leo even more. To love the gentle nuzzles and kisses they shared, the times when their eyes locked together, the times like right now when they just lay there together holding each other basking in the other’s warmth.

“I love you Leo.”

Leo smiled nuzzling his neck gently.

“I love you too Mikey.”

Mikey giggled slightly as Leo’s hand shifted, gently tracing the plates in his chest before drifting along his arm. They kissed again their lips pressing against each other’s communicating just how happy they were at this moment. In the past he would have tried to push it. He would have tried to pull Leo into a deeper kiss, trying to make the older turtle aroused; but not anymore. He didn’t need to use sex to show Leo how much he loved him. Yes having sex with the older turtle had been great…….no it had been amazing. But it wasn't the standard. They didn’t need to have full blown sex every time Mikey got aroused. Kissing Leo again Mikey groaned as behind them the doorbell rang, making Leo pull away slightly.

“They’re here.”

Mikey nodded but didn’t move.

“Can’t we just leave them out there and stay like this?”

Leo shook his head but held Mikey for a moment longer before shifting, sitting up and leaving the couch to go open the front door. A moment later voices reached Mikey’s ears, Donnie’s calm voice greeting Leo, wishing him a happy thanksgiving. A moment later a gruff voice was speaking, asking Leo if he had the football game on. Mikey chuckled as he sat up and watched as his brother moved into the living room before dropping down onto the couch next to him. A second later Mikey yelped and squealed dramatically as Raph pulled him into a headlock, as he spoke.

“How’s my baby brother doing?”

Mikey struggled against Raph's grip for a moment before laughing.

“He’s fine. Starting to feel lightheaded though.”

Raph let go of his head chuckling as he reached for the TV remote before flipping through the channels until he found the football game. From the door way Leo spoke.

“Mikey, why don't you go wash up and when you get out we’ll eat. Ok?”

Mikey nodded, he did feel oddly grungy after having walked around town all day looking for a job. Standing up off the couch Mikey smiled at Donnie,

“happy thanksgiving Donnie.”

Donnie smiled back at him,

“happy thanksgiving Mikey.”

Moving past Donnie Mikey paused just long enough to give Leo a kiss on the cheek before moving down the hallway towards the bedroom and the shower. Closing the door behind him Mikey stripped off his clothing before getting into the shower and turning on the water. He flinched slightly at the cold water that sprang from the shower at first, scrambling to turn the dial until the water became warmer. He groaned as he felt the water trickle down his skin and shell, washing away the fatigue of the day. Leo’s shower truly was amazing. It was like stepping into a whole other world; as all around him droplets of water fell from ceiling sounding like rain. He moved, grabbing the bottle of soap before working his skin into a gentle lather and then watching as the lather was washed away by the falling water. Behind him Leo’s voice spoke.

“Hey……..are you ok?”

arms wrapped around his shoulder, pulling him backwards into a gentle hug. Mikey closed his eyes, allowing his head to roll back onto Leo’s shoulders as he spoke.

“Yeah……I’m just tired. I did a lot of walking today.”

He let out a low churr as Leo nuzzled his neck.

“You don't have to push yourself this hard Mikey. You’ve got exams coming up in less than a month, focus on them right now. School is more important than a job.”

Mikey chuckled.

“You sound like a teacher.”

A moment later he yelped as Leo gave his butt a small swat.

“I am a teacher.”

Shutting off the water Mikey giggled as Leo wrapped a towel around his waist before pulling him in close, rubbing the towel over his wet skin. They leaned in, kissing each other as Leo brought the towel up to dry the skin around Mikey’s head. Breaking apart Leo spoke.

“I…..I should go. I told Donnie and your brother I was changing clothes.”

Again Mikey giggled slightly.

“I think you look great.”

As he spoke he moved, his hands rubbing Leo’s shoulders and collarbone making Leo let out his own churr, before leaning in to nuzzle Mikey’s neck.

“I’m sure you do. But I don't think my ex, or your brother would appreciate it if we came to dinner naked.”

Mikey sighed, inhaling a bit of Leo’s scent before speaking.

“fine…….”

He whined a little as he spoke. 5 minutes later both he and Leo emerged from the room, Mikey dressed in jeans and a sweater while Leo wore the same pants he’d had on before but now sported a sweatshirt that said ‘yellow stone national park’ on it. Moving into the dining room Mikey smiled as he found Donnie and Raph seated at the table. Dropping down into his seat Mikey blushed slightly as Raph spoke, staring at Leo as he too sat down.

“It took you 10 minutes to put on a new shirt?”

Leo’s eyes flickered to Mikey both of them blushing slightly. Raph didn’t respond but did let out a gentle growl towards Leo. After passing around plates of food each of them carried on a polite conversation while they ate, Donnie asking Leo how his work was going, Leo asking Donnie about the book he was writing, Raph asking mikey about how his studies were going. When the subject of Raph's football came up the red turtle shrugged.

“it’s fine. Coach has us all going to get a mid season physical tomorrow. He wants to be sure we’re all in peak shape for the next game.”

Leo nodded, it was true the team had not been doing so well lately. They’d almost lost the last 2 games they’d played in, narrowly managing to score winning touchdowns in the last few seconds of both games. In the back of his mind Leo wondered just how much of the team’s sudden bad luck was because of Raph. He’d heard rumors lately, students talking about how the practices had become tense, and at several times violent; with players getting into fist fights and screaming matches in the locker-rooms, only to be broken up by shredder. But the look on Raph's face made it obvious that the red banded turtle was not willing to answer any more questions about football. The rest of the meal was pleasant, everyone voicing their approval at how good the food was, while Leo fidgeted a little, not used to so many people complimenting him. Next to him Mikey giggled, patting Leo’s hand.

“Leo promised to teach me some of his recipes so I can cook more than just grilled cheese sandwiches.”

Donnie grinned.

“Leo is an amazing cook. You’ll be getting lessons from a master.”

Leo’s face went another shade redder.

 

 

LATER

 

 

Raph smiled, hugging Mikey for a moment before turning following Donnie out through the front door and back to their cars. Behind them Leo and Mikey wished them a happy thanksgiving before closing the door leaving Raph and Donnie alone outside. Moving to go to his car Raph stopped as Donnie grabbed his wrist, stuffing s scrap of paper into his hand.

“What’s this?”

Donnie shrugged.

“My work and home number.”

Raph raised an eyebrow.

“I told you I’m straight.”

Donnie rolled his eyes.

“I know. This is in case you ever want to talk. I can tell you’re agitated and angry. If you ever want to talk; either as a patient or as a friend just give me a call.”

Raph looked down at the business card for a moment.

“ok……thanks.”

Donnie smiled at him.

“I know we don't know each other well. But I do consider you a friend Raphael. And as your friend I want to help you if I can. A person can only take so much stress before they start reaching their breaking point. So please…….if you ever wanted to talk…..about anything, anything at all; please call me.”

Raph was silent as he thought over Donnie’s words. It was true, he was agitated. The situation with his team was testing his limits of already thin self control. But Donnie’s words had touched him slightly. That fact that Donnie considered him a friend was not something he’d expected from the purple turtle, and yet he felt himself smile slightly. He didn’t have many friends. Most of the friends he’d had, were on the football team; and they were almost dead to him.

“thanks…….Donnie……..I promise, if I need to talk I’ll call.”

Donnie smiled and reaching out, touching his shoulder giving it a light pat.

“thank you Raph.”

A moment later Donnie pulled back as a small gust of wind blew past them making them both shiver.

“fuck it’s cold.”

Donnie just laughed.

 

 

THE NEXT DAY

 

 

Raph grumbled as he watched another teammate follow the doctor into the back of the clinic. Sighing again Raph looked around the waiting room for what must have been the 100th time. White walls, with the occasional boring picture of a hill or countryside met his gaze. He’d been here for hours, watching as slowly the number of players in the waiting room had dwindled as they were first called back and then allowed to leave. Closing his eyes Raph leaned back allowing his thoughts to drift. He was starting to feel it; the stress of the situation he was trapped in. he wanted out, he wanted to quite football and get as far away from the team as he possibly could; but Leo had been right. If his quite then the school would pull his scholarships. And then he and also Mikey would have to drop out, and he couldn't do that to Mikey. Not when things were going so well for the younger turtle. Silently he smiled as he remembered how happy Mikey had been during thanksgiving; how Mikey had grinned ear to ear as they eaten, how he’d giggled and squirmed when Leo had pulled him into his lap and given him a kiss on the cheek. There was no denying Mikey was happier now then he’d been in a long time. Raph sighed. Or course he still didn’t fully understand his little brother at times. Coming out as being gay had been a big shock to Raph, yet……it seemed to ‘fit’. Thinking back on their childhood and teenage years Raph could begin to see signs and subtle hints that Mikey might have known even back then. He distinctly remembered a moment when they had been 15 and they’d gone to a local girl’s birthday party. Somehow they’d ended up playing ‘spin the bottle’; when it had been Mikey’s turn the bottle had landed on another boy. And while that boy had protested loudly that there was no way in hell he’d kiss Mikey; Mikey had tackled him and pinned him down before claiming the boy’s lips for a moment.

 

“THE TURTLE KNOWN AS RAPHAEL.”

Raph's eyes drifted open to find the assistant who had been calling his teammates back was now standing in front of him. For a moment Raph looked the man up and down; taking in the clean and crisp suit he wore, his black hair, blank almost emotionless face. After a moment Raph spoke.

“My turn?”

the assistant nodded before speaking in a flat monotone voice.

“Yes. It is time for the turtle known as Raphael to have his blood drawn by kraang. Please follow kraang”

Raph raised an eyeridge as the assistant apparently named kraang, despite the nametag on his suit that said his name was NOLAN; motioned for him to follow. Getting up Raph glanced around, he was the last person to get his physical, everyone else had left already. Following ‘kraang’ through the hallway Raph soon found himself in a small room. In front of him an examination bed had been set up while on the far wall several medical instruments hung. Next to the examination bed a small table had been set up.

“Please be seated on the examination table so kraang may begin drawing the required sample of the blood for analysis.”

Again Raph raised an eyebrow at the way ‘kraang’ spoke, but nevertheless did as instructed. Sitting down on the table, Raph watched as ‘kraang’ readied the needle and syringe before turning to him.

“The turtle known as Raphael may feel a slight pinch.”

Raph bit his lip as he felt ‘kraang maneuver his arm upwards before putting the needle against his skin. A moment later Raph did indeed feel a pinch as the needle was slowly inserted into his arm. Watching Raph felt his stomach flutter slightly as his blood began to fill the syringe.

“so……..”

he was talking now, trying to distract himself from the slightly disturbing sight of his blood leaving his body. “What’s the blood sample for?”

‘kraang’ didn’t look up at him as he again spoke in a monotone voice.

“The blood sample will allow kraang to ensure that the turtle known as Raphael is healthy and able to participate in the athletic sport of football. It will also allow kraang to determine if the turtle known as Raphael should be given any form of medication.”

Raph nodded slowly.

“ok…….for a moment I was wondering if you might use it to see if you could swap our brains into each other’s bodies.”

He chuckled as he spoke, more out of nerves than seriousness. He always got nervous when he was in doctor’s offices. Something about the combination of white walls, eerily clean smell, and the bizarre smiles everyone gace in an attempt to comfort their patiens; made him jittery and nervous. As his chuckle died down ‘kraang’ looked up at him, a momentary look of confusion flittering over his face before changing back to his expressionless stare.

“kraang fails to see the humor or logic in the joke that was told by the turtle known as Raphael. If kraang wished to switch brains with the turtle known as Raphael, kraang would not draw a blood sample. Kraang would instead use linked EKG machines and would then-”

but the rest of kraang’s words were cut off as the door to the room opened and another person stepped in. Raph looked at this new person, tall, glasses, dark skin, short hair. The nametag on his lab coat read DR. STOCKMAN. As he sat down stockman addressed ‘kraang’, “almost done?”

kraang nodded, withdrawing the needle from Raph's arm before putting a bandage over the puncture wound.

“Kraang has completed the task of withdrawing blood from the turtle known as Raphael. Kraang will now go and analyze the blood that came from the turtle known as Raphael.”

Without another word ‘kraang stood up and left the room leaving Raph and stockman alone. As the door closed behind kraang Raph spoke.

“Your assistant is weird.”

Stockman shrugged.

“kraang suffers from a condition known as ‘mind and body dualism’.”

When Raph looked confused stockman elaborated.

“In kraang’s mind; his ‘mind’ and his ‘body’ are two completely separate entities. The name he was born with ‘nolan’ is the name of his body. While the name ‘kraang’ refers his mind or the individual in charge.”

Raph nodded slowly.

“So why do you keep him around?”

stockman smiled.

“because if I fired him I’d have to hire 12 people to do his job. He’s like a machine; he works 13 hour days, never takes a smoke break, or goes to the bathroom. In fact the only thing he does is take a 15 minute lunch break at 2pm. Other than that he just works.”

Raph raised an eyebrow.

“He doesn’t sound human.”

Stockman shrugged.

“Maybe, but he’s not why we’re here. So let talk about you Raphael.”

Raph shrugged, leaning back slightly.

“ok. What do you want to know?”

stockman smiled.

“Tell about your eating habits.”

Raph shrugged.

“Pizza mostly, sometimes a burger, tacos, Chinese takeout sometimes…..”

stockman’s face wrinkled slightly.

“You do know none of those things are really healthy for you, right?”

Raph rolled his eyes.

“Yes I know that. But I’m a college student on a budget.”

Stockman nodded, “I know that. But there are places like subway that are healthier for you.”

Raph rolled his eyes.

“You sound like my brother. Always bugging me to eat healthier.”

Stockman too rolled his eyes.

“Your brother has a point. You need to eat healthier. Your body needs the proper vitamins and nutrients not the fat and salt you put into it.”

Raph sighed.

“Look doc, I don't have enough money to eat healthy every day. Hell I can barely buy the junk food that I do eat.”

Stockman sighed and shifted, turning away from Raph to dig around in a locked cabinet for a moment before turning back around. A moment later he handed a bottle to Raph; which the red turtle examined. After a moment he looked up at stockman.

“A multi-vitamin?”

stockman nodded.

“It’s specially made for athletes. If you won’t eat healthier then at the very least this will help your body keep up its needed levels. You’ll need to take one every day, preferably with food or water.”

Raph nodded, putting the pills in his pocket.

“Thank you. Is there anything else?”

stockman shook his head and stood up.

“Not right now. I’ll call you and your coach when the results from your blood test come back. But other than that, I don't need anything from you right now. You’re free to go.”

Shaking stockman’s hand Raph moved to leave only to have stockman speak.

“Raphael, I know what it’s like to want to be the best. But I can tell you that if you don't take care of your body it won’t give you all it has to offer. The pills will help, but you must make a conscious effort to eat healthier. Ok?”

Raph nodded.

“Ok doc. I’ll try, I promise.”

Stockman smiled, and nodded. Leaving the room Raph moved down the hallway towards the doors, leaving the building and making his way to his jeep before climbing inside and leaning back in his seat. Taking a deep breath he pulled out the bottle stockman had given him. Looking over the bottle Raph's eyes scanned the nutritional info, noting the amounts of iron and calcium were almost double what they were in normal vitamins. Rolling his eyes Raph unscrewed the lid to the bottle and popped one of the pills into his palm before snapping the pill into his mouth and downing a mouthful of water. Moving to start his jeep Raph stopped as a female voice met his ears.

“GOD DAMN FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”

looking over Raph found that while he had been the only person in the doctor’s office he was not the only person in the parking lot. 3 spaces over he watched as a human girl kicked the tires of her car, obvious mad that the vehicle wouldn’t start. Rolling his eyes Raph slowly got out of his jeep.

“You ok?”

the girl turned to glar at him.

“Do I look ok?!”

Raph narrowed his eyes, taking in the girl’s dark hair, slightly gothic looking makeup and slim figure.

“Watch your tone girly. I could get back in my car and drive away.”

the girl’s posture changed slumping forward.

“sorry. I just……I have 20 minutes before my class starts and if I miss another class I’ll be in SO much trouble with my dad; it’s not even funny.

Raph sighed.

“Want a ride to the school?”

the girl looked at him her eyes pleading but nervous.

“are you’re a serial killer?”

Raph shook his head.

“No.”

the girl smiled.

“Ok then, let me just get my bag.”

Raph nodded, his eyes roving over the girl’s slim form as she bents over to dig around in the backseat before straightening up. Leading her back to his jeep Raph spoke.

“So what class do you have to get to?”

the girl groaned as he dropped herself into the seat.

“Biology. Ugggggg, how can the study of how things reproduce be sooooooo boring?”

Raph shrugged as he started the car. Pulling out of the parking lot Raph headed in the direction of the college.

“so what’s your name?” the girl looked at him sideways.

“You first turtle boy. What’s your name?”

Raph chuckled.

“I’m Raphael.”

The girl looked at him sideways.

“Well nice to meet you Raphael. I’m Harmony.”

Raph smiled.

“Nice to meet you Harmony.”

They chatted lightly as he drove down the streets and roads. As they passed through one of the gateways to the college Harmony spoke.

“so what can I do to thank you for saving my ass like this?”

Raph shook his head.

“nothing. Just helping out a fellow student in need.”

But Harmony chuckled. A moment later Raph jerked the wheel slightly as he felt her hand brush against his thigh before moving up to cup his crotch. After a moment he felt her breath against the side of his face.

“Nothing? Are you sure you can’t think of anything?”


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

 

 

Karai groaned, every muscle in her body ached and burned. She panted, leaning forward to rest her forehead against Raph's shoulder while her sides heaven with the effort to draw in lungfuls of air. Things had not gone exactly as she had planned. She’d learned long ago that the best way to get information out of a man was to fuck him senseless and then question him when he was exhausted. However with Raph things were different, the red banded turtle showed no signs of getting tired. She groaned, tilting her head sideways, her eyes roving over the clock next to Raph's bed the time 11PM blinking back at her. They’d been fucking for hours, since 6 when her ‘class’ had ended. Of course in reality she’d walked past the biology class and had instead gone to see a movie; only to call Raph back when it had ended and huskily ask if she could repay him now. She’d never expected this to go on for so long. She’d expected Raph to be like most boys, to last one or two rounds and then have to stop; but this was not the case, the old saying ‘slow and steady’ certainly did not apply to Raph. She bit her lip feeling him nuzzle her neck.

“Hey……you ok?”

she turned her head, looking at him, smiling weakly.

“yeah……just……..tired.”

it wasn't a lie. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her skin was drenched with sweat and her muscles pleaded with her to take a break. She felt Raph shift.

“Did you wanna stop?”

again karai bit her lip. On one hand she was having fun, Raph was certainly one of the most ‘skilled and gifted’ boys she’d ever seduced. His hands knew exactly where to go and what to do; the squeals, moans and whimpers she’d let out had been real and not part of her act. On the other hand she did need to get home somewhat soon or her dad would begin to get suspicious. Making up her mind she leaned in, giving Raph a small kiss, their tongues dancing together for a moment before she pulled back smiling at him.

“I think I’ve had about all I can handle tonight.”

Raph grinned sheepishly at her.

“sure you don't wanna stay for another round?”

she laughed, moving to get to her knees as she did so; shuddering as she felt his organ slip free of her body.

“Sorry, not tonight. I’ll be lucky if I can get home like this.”

As she spoke she allowed her legs to wobble slightly for added effect. She watched as Raph moved, leaning forward towards her.

“I could give you a ride if you wanted.”

She grinned.

“That would be great.”

Raph nodded and stood up. For a moment or so they didn’t speak, each of them picking up and putting on their clothes. Karai was sure to wiggle her hips and move in a way that ensured Raph watched her out of the corner of his eye; he was still a boy after all. Making sure her skirt was on straight karai turned to Raph who finished pulling on his shirt before speaking.

“Shall we?”

karai nodded and fell in line before Raph as they left the turtle’s room and made their way the stairs. She’d been a little surprised when he’d taken her to the apartment he shared with a friend, rather than to the frat-house. From what she knew most of the football players were in the frat and had rooms at the house; why then was he sleeping here instead? Getting into his jeep karai spoke as Raph turned on the engine and began to drive.

“So………tell me about yourself?”

Raph looked at her sideways.

“Really?”

karai shrugged her response already forming in her mind.

“Well yeah, if I get pregnant from this I want to be able to tell the baby about his father.”

She laughed out loud ad Raph's head jerked to stare at her his eyes going wide. It felt good to be back in control of the situation.

“Relax, I’m just messing with you! Humans and Anthros can't have children; everyone knows that.”

she laughed again as Raph's eyes turned back to the road.

“Oh man the look on your face!”

Raph grumbled slightly.

“Don’t scare me like that.”

Karai chuckled.

“Ok fine. But seriously…..tell me about yourself.”

Raph shrugged as they came to a stop at a stop light.

“Not much to say. I’m on the football team, I’m going to school for a business degree, I have a younger brother….”

Karai stopped listening after that; her father hadn’t mentioned that raph had a brother.

“Does your brother also go to the school?”

Raph nodded.

“yeah. But he doesn’t live on the campus.”

Karai cocked her head to the side.

“Does he stay with you?”

Raph shook his head, a slightly look of unease covering his face.

“No……he has……a boyfriend, and they stay at his house.”

Karai raised an eyebrow.

“A boyfriend?”

Raph nodded slowly.

“yeah…….”

Karai nodded slowly, from the way Raph was responding she could tell that he wasn't exactly sure how to feel about that. Could that be the source of his bad attitude? She giggled as a new way to bug Raph popped into her head.

“Well if he’s anything like you…..”

as she spoke she leaned in breathing against the side of Raph's face while her hand went to his crotch again.

“then the boyfriend is one lucky dude.”

Raph shifted groaning slightly as she ground her hand against his crotch for a moment before sitting back in her seat. After a moment Raph looked at her.

“If you keep doing that then I’ll pull over and we’ll have another round in the back seat.”

Karai giggled but shook her head.

“No. I’m done for the night but…….”

She allowed her voice to trail off as Raph came to a stop due to a stop sign.

“Maybe we could meet up again and get to know each other a little better?”

Raph watched as she tore out a piece of paper from one of her notebooks and scribbled down her number before handing it to him.

“Call me sometime.”

Raph looked at the number before looking at her.

“How do you know I will? I’m a football player. maybe I just wanted to fuck?”

Again she giggled, she could tell he was trying to play this off nonchalantly, but his eyes were a dead giveaway, the way they sparkled slightly as he looked at the scrap of paper. She frowned slightly, making it look as though she was deep in thought for a moment.

“collateral.”

Raph frowned at her.

“What?”

karai jerked her head to a section of sidewalk.

“You should drop me off here. If my dad sees you he’ll probably kill us both.”

Nodding Raph came to a stop before turning to her.

“What do you mean by ‘collateral’?”

undoing her seatbelt karai squirmed and wiggled while her hands shifted under her skirt pulling her panties down and off before stuffing them into Raph’s hand. Before the turtle could react she shifted, reaching back into the back seat and grabbing the first thing she could find; which turned out to be one of his textbooks. Pushing open the door she stepped out before turning to speak; grinning at the look of confusion on his face.

“Those are my lucky panties. I’ll want them back, so you’d better call and…..”

she held up his textbook.

“This probably costs a lot of money to replace so you’d better call me if you want it back.”

She giggled at the continued look of confusion on his face, before turning and running down the sidewalk in the direction of her home. Even if he didn’t call her back she had a way of getting in touch with him. Before she’d begin this whole operation her father had given her Raph's phone number.

 

 

THE NEXT DAY

 

 

Raph's eyes were closed as he gently hummed along to the music in his ears. A moment later he opened his eyes as someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning around Raph smiled, turning off his music as he found that Mikey had finally arrived and was grinning at him.

“hey.”

Pulling his headphones out of his ears Raph smiled back.

“hey.”

It had become a kind of tradition for them. Ever since the arcade they made an effort to see each other in person at least once a week; in this week’s case walking around the mall. As they began to walk Mikey spoke.

“How are you doing Raph?”

Raph shrugged.

“I’m fine. Waiting for the results of my physical but other than that I’m good. Trying to study for the exams.”

Mikey nodded. He was studying for exams too. Every night after school he’d come home and dump his homework out on the kitchen table and do his best to make sense of all the information in front of him. it was times like that, that Leo was at his best. He had a way of explaining even the most complicated subjects in terms that were easy and truly fun. Pausing for a moment Mikey looked at a set of clothes inside one of the nearby stores before grabbing Raph's arm and dragging him inside. as they moved through the aisles of clothing Raph spoke.

“So……..how is Leo?”

Mikey looked at him a small smile covering his face.

“He’s good.”

Raph smiled weakly back.

“is he studying for exams too?”

busying himself with looking at a pair of pants Mikey bit his lip. He still hadn’t told Raph the full truth about Leo yet. how would the older red turtle react if Mikey told him not only was Leo not a student, but that he was in fact one of Mikey’s teachers?

“Mikey?”

he looked up at Raph pretending to be a little startled.

“huh? Sorry…….I got distracted by these jeans. What did you say?”

Raph smiled at him.

“I asked if Leo is preparing for his exams too.”

Mikey nodded, mentally hoping Raph would forgive him for lying.

“yeah. But he’s got really good grades so he doesn’t have to study nearly as much.”

Raph nodded his shoulders slumping slightly.

“that must be nice.”

Mikey nodded, turning back to the jeans he had been looking at. It was true, it would be great if he could spend a little less time studying and a little more time doing the things he really wanted to do; so far his job search had been a complete waste of time. He’d handed in dozens of resumes and gotten very few responses in return. Sighing Mikey looked up as a small idea popped into his head.

“Hey Raph?”

Raph looked up at him from the shirts he’d moved to look at.

“Do you know of anyplace nearby that is hiring?”

Raph shrugged but nodded.

“yeah the burger place around the block from Casey’s apartment.”

Mikey’s smile faded slightly.

“Any place that’s not fast food?”

Raph shook his head.

“Sorry, no. why?”

Mikey sighed.

“Cause I need to find a job. I can’t keep living off the little bit of money I have left over from your scholarships, and………and it bothers me that I don't help out financially with Leo.”

Raph shrugged.

“Check with the school. I’m sure they have some local jobs listed somewhere.”

Mikey nodded.

“I did that a few days ago. But I could always go again.”

Raph nodded and gave him an apologetic smile.

“I’ll keep my ears open in case I hear of anything. Ok?”

Mikey smiled back.

“thanks.”

As they left the store Raph spoke again.

“So what does Leo think of you getting a job?”

something in Raph's voice made Mikey raise an eyebrow.

“What’s with ‘the tone’?”

Raph looked at him.

“Tone? What tone? There was no tone. I just asked a question.”

Mikey rolled his eyes.

“Yes there was. When you said ‘Leo’ you had a tone. Why?”

Raph sighed and rubbed his head.

“Well he’s the man……well…….um……”

a slight blush covered his face as he realized he didn’t actually know who played what roll in Mikey’s relationship. Mikey looked at him, a slight smirk covering his face.

“Raph?”

Raph shuddered, he knew that tone o voice, Mikey was about to say or do something that would make him very uncomfortable.

“are you trying to figure out which of us is the one who gets fucked?”

Raph's face went dark red as those words left Mikey’s mouth. He tried to distract himself from his embarrassment, looking around for anything he could use to distance himself from this particular subject.

“I……Um………I……”

he bit his lip trying to think of something to say. In truth he had wondered about it once or twice. When’d they’d be talking on the phone and Mikey would giggle unexpectedly Raph could not help but wonder if Leo was doing something to him. as much as he tried not to think about it or let it get to him he did. Next to him Mikey continued to smirk at him, knowing he was right. After a moment Raph sighed.

“Can we not talk about it? I don't really want to think about my young brother having sex, or trying to figure out if he’s the man or the girl.”

Mikey continued to smirk.

“but it’s so much fun Raph. You should try it sometime I bet you’d love it.”

Raph spluttered trying to come up with a comeback that would stun Mikey as much as he was right now. he could not help but feel his blood boil slightly as Mikey giggled at his shock and embarrassment.

“I’m kidding Raph. I’m kidding. Geeze, lighten up.”

Raph took several deep breaths willing his face to return to its normal shade of green.

“That wasn't funny Mikey.”

Mikey continued to giggle.

“Yes it was. The look on your face was hilarious.”

Grumbling back Raph steered them towards the food court, ordering food and sitting down. He watched as Mikey unwrapped his sandwich and bit into his hungrily. Looking down at his own food Raph sighed as he remembered what stockman had told him about eating healthier. He knew he should, but that did not make it seem any more appealing to him. Biting into the ham sandwich Raph chewed, noting that it wasn't as bad as he’d expected it to be. “After a moment Mikey spoke.

“ooooooooo.”

Raph looked up.

“What?”

he watched as Mikey gestured behind him. Turning Raph found that the only thing behind him was a cheetah, walking towards the same restaurant they’d just come from; his fur rippling under the invader Zim t-shirt he wore.

“He’s cute.”

Raph rolled his eyes.

“if you say so dude. I think she’s cuter.”

Raph gestured behind Mikey towards a panda who wore a slim and frilly tank top. It was Mikey’s turn to roll his eyes. After a moment they both laughed at each other, each of them taking another bite of their food. After several moments of silence Raph spoke tentatively.

“Mikey…….can……..can I ask you something………kind of personal?”

Mikey looked up from his food and nodded.

“of course Raph. What is it?”

Raph set down his sandwich mentally trying to figure out how to ask his question.

“don't make fun of me ok. I want an honest answer. I just……….ok this is gunna sound weird and maybe a little……homophobic but……..how can you like men and not women?”

Mikey looked at him for a moment before speaking.

“what kind of a question is that?”

Raph sighed rubbing his hand against his forehead for a moment.

“I don't know I just……help me figure this out. What is it about men that you like, as opposed to women?”

Mikey continued to look at him for another moment before speaking.

“It’s……..hard to say. I just………”

he drifted off as he thought about Raph's question for a while before speaking again.

“I can't really so ‘why’, mostly cause I don't know. but………. Remember when we were kids? Remember when there was a storm, you’d hold me and tell me not to be scared and that everything was ok?”

Raph nodded. Mikey shrugged.

“It’s kind of like that. I…….I like being held in someone’s arms. I like being told everything is ok, and feeling safe and secure. I just……….I can't really explain it any other way. I just like the feeling of being held by someone who is strong and brave; and feeling secure in their arms.”

Raph took a slow bite of his sandwich thinking about what Mikey had said.

“ok……..can I ask another question?”

Mikey nodded.

“why Leo? I mean……..ok don't take this the wrong way but……you’re cute. I bet you could go to a bar……..”

Raph's voice trailed off as Mikey raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m 19 Raph, I can't go to bars…….legally.”

Raph shrugged.

“You know what I mean. I bet you could have just about any gay guy you wanted. What about Leo drew you to him?”

Raph watched as Mikey took a bite of his food and then spoke.

“ well……he’s kind, funny, generous and……….and……he doesn’t judge me.”

Raph cocked his head sideways at his brother.

“judge you?”

Mikey nodded slowly his posture stiffening slightly. Raph watched as a kind of shudder rolled through Mikey’s body, stiffening his posture.

“Mikey? Are you ok?”

Mikey didn’t respond, but seemed to stare off into space.

“Mikey?”

Mikey didn’t respond right away, instead he continued to stare off into space for several moments before speaking; when he did respond his voice had an odd kind of coldness to it that Raph had never heard before.

“Leo……saw past the parts of me that were……damaged. He……helped me to see that I…….was still worth being loved.”

Another shuddered ran through Mikey, making Raph lean in.

“Mikey are you ok? What’s wrong?”

he watched as Mikey looked at him, his eyes oddly empty. Startled by Mikey’s blank expression Raph spoke softly.

“Mikey……..what do you mean ‘still worth loving’? please…….you’re scaring me.”

he watched as another shuddered rolled through Mikey’s body. He watched startled as Mikey began to take deep breaths in and out. Slowly he shifted, leaning forward to touch one of Mikey’s hand which was resting on the table. He flinched slightly as he found Mikey’s skin was colder than he had expected it to be. For several minutes Mikey forced himself to breath inhaling, counting to 3 and then exhaling his breaths. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his body burned and itched with the need to get up and move. He’d had episodes like this before. When he was in therapy with Donnie he would begin to panic, and freak out. He’d start to hyperventilate and shake as he remembered some obscure detail about his abuse that he’d buried years ago but now came to the surface making his stomach churn and writhe making him feel as though he might throw up. But he wasn't in therapy. He forced himself to remember where he was; he wasn't in Donnie’s office with only the purple banded turtle. He was at the mall with his brother, and if he kept going the way he was, he would have a full blown panic attack right here in the food court. He shifted, wrapping his fingers around the edges of the table. In therapy Donnie had shown him how to minimize and avoid having a panic attack.

Step 1 no matter what keep breathing. If he stopped breathing he would pass out, and that was bad because he could hurt himself if he fell.

Step 2 keep a firm grip on something. In his panic attacks he often felt like he was falling, so if he was able to hold onto something he could at least feel anchored as he worked through his attack.

Step 3 pick something and focus on it. Mikey’s eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on his drink cup, staring at it so intensely that he was dimly surprised it didn’t burst into flames.

Continuing to breath he forced himself to relax until the panic that clawed at his insides vanished as quickly as it had come. He blinked, painfully away that he hadn’t done so at all during his attack. Across from him Raph had a look of confusion and fear on his face. Mikey coughed as he tried to speak, his throat dry and scratchy from his breathing. Draining his drink Mikey groaned and leaned back in his chair before speaking.

“Raph……..I….”

but Raph spoke over him, his voice filled with fear and confusion.

“what the hell Mikey?! What was that? One moment we’re just talking the next moment you go all……all……..I don't even know how to describe it.”

Mikey sighed, he really wished this hadn’t have happened. Taking a deep breath he spoke.

“That……was a panic attack. I get them every now and then…….Donnie’s been helping me to work through them and also work through their source. But I’m ok now, I promise.”

He watched as Raph stared at him, looking him over carefully.

“What……what caused it Mikey?”

Mikey bit his lip. He wasn't ready to tell Raph. This was not the time and certainly not the proper place to tell his brother about the years of abuse he’d gone through when they had been younger. In the back of his mind he was aware that there probably was never going to be a truly good time or place to tell Raph; but that didn’t change that fact that he was not going to tell Raph while they were eating in the mall food court. Taking another deep breath Mikey spoke.

“Raph………I know you have questions……..but……..but I’m not ready to tell you the answers yet.”

he watched as Raph frowned at him.

“I thought we weren’t going to keep secrets from each other anymore.”

Mikey noted the slightly hurt tone Raph was using. He sighed and nodded.

“I know……but……but there are some things I’m not ready to tell you yet. I…….I……..I just need time to work through them first. Ok?”

he watched as Raph nodded slowly but continued to look at her cautiously. After a moment he spoke.

“Can……can I help in anyway?”

Mikey smiled weakly at Raph who smiled weakly back.

“No. I have to get through them first. Then I’ll be able to tell you more. Ok?”

Raph nodded but gave Mikey’s hand a small squeeze.

“ok. But just remember……I’m here for you Mikey. I may not be as smart as Donnie. But I’m here for you.”

Mikey smiled and nodded.

“thank you Raph.”

 

 

LATER

 

 

Mikey smiled to himself as he waved goodbye to Raph who pulled away from the curb and quickly vanished from site. Turning towards the house Mikey moved inside calling out to le as he pulled off his jacket.

“I’M BACK NOW!”

a moment later Leo called to him from the kitchen.

“I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.”

Moving into the kitchen Mikey took a seat at the counter and watched as Leo turning to face him. Behind Leo a pot of chili bubbled sluggishly. Leo wore a sheepish grin on his face as he spoke.

“you have to promise not to get mad or anything. Ok?”

Mikey raised an eyebrow while at the same time narrowing his eyes.

“why……what did you do?”

again Leo smiled sheepishly.

“well……ok I didn’t do it on purpose. I was already talking to Professor Rothin. Do you know him? He teaches AP world science. He’s pretty good to, he…..”

Mikey’s eyes narrowed a bit more. Living with Leo these past few months had taught him how to spot when Leo was really nervous about something.

“LEO.”

Mikey’s firm voice cut through Leo’s words making the older turtle stop mid sentence.

“What did you do?” Leo took a deep breath.

“well…….i mentioned I had a student who was looking for a job and………Rothin said he knew of one available at the school……and one thing led to another and………”

Mikey watched as Leo pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and nervously handed it to Mikey.

“How would you feel about maybe……working for the school’s radio station?”

Mikey raised an eyebrow as he looked over the paper; which had a phone number, address and small map drawn on it.

“The school has a radio station?”

Leo nodded nervously.

“Yeah…..it’s not very big; I think it only reaches a little bit past the outskirts of the campus but......the twins who run it need help keeping the place clean. I…….I……”

Mikey watched as Leo swallowed nervously.

“Rothin said the job is yours if you want it……..I figured……..”

again Leo trailed off as Mikey got up and began to move.

“sorry…..I know you wanted to find a job on your own……but this came up and……"

but Leo froze as Mikey wrapped his arms around Leo’s shoulders, pulling him into gentle hug. Slowly he shifted, wrapping his own arms around Mikey.

“You’re not mad?”

Mikey didn’t pull away but shook his head against Leo’s chest.

“No…..I’m not mad. Thank you Leo.”

Leo sighed with relief, hugging Mikey closer to his body.

“I love you Mikey.” Mikey giggled.

“I love you to Leo.”

After a moment they pulled apart. Mikey smiled up at Leo who spoke gently.

“I’m glad you’re not mad at me.”

Again Mikey giggled.

 

 

RAPH’S POV

 

 

Raph groaned as he lay back in his bed. Seeing Mikey freak out like that; it had scared him. He’d never seen Mikey like that. He leaned back, closing his eyes for a moment before a thought occurred to him. Reaching over to his nightstand Raph groped around searching for the bottle of vitamins stockman had given him and the water bottle he kept on the nightstand. Finding the bottles Raph unscrewed the lid and shook one of the pills into his hand before popping it into his mouth before downing a mouthful of water from a water bottle, swallowing the chalky pill with ease. Leaning back down in his bed Raph had been about to close his eyes again when his cellphone began to ring. Looking down at the small device Raph frowned as he found he did not recognize the number. Clicking the button Raph spoke. “Hello?” a moment later Harmony’s voice spoke to him.

“How you doing stud?”

Raph chuckled.

“Not bad. You?”

Harmony chuckled.

“I’m ok. Hey……I was wondering if you’d like to hang out sometime. Maybe…..get an ice cream or something?”

Raph raised an eyebrow.

“An ice cream? Are we 12 years old?”

Harmony chuckled.

“Judging by what we did yesterday, no we’re not 12. But the offer still stands. I’d love to meet up again. Maybe we could chat some more or……..we could have a repeat of last night. I’ll leave the choice up to you.”

Raph was silent for a moment before speaking before speaking.

“I’ll be by in a little while and we can go for that ice cream.”

On the other end of the line Harmony chuckled.

“I guess we really are 12 years old.”


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

 

 

Looking down at the piece of paper in his hands Mikey made sure he was in the right place. in front of him was a large stone building, the brick walls were a dullish brown and the windows looked like they not been cleaned in several years. If he hadn’t known any better he would have guessed the building was completely abandoned, as it was the only sign that the building was in use was the small metal sign next to the front door that red, ‘SCHOOL RADIO STATION’. Taking a deep breath Mikey walked up to the door and knocked; wrapping his knuckles against the cold metal door. Waiting for several moments Mikey could hear the sounds of someone moving inside the building. As the sounds got louder Mikey took a step backwards waiting for the door to swing open. Sure enough the door did swing open, as someone opened it from the inside. Mikey felt his eyes widen slightly as he found himself a little stunned. He remembered Leo had said that a pair of twins ran the radio station; but he had not expected those twins to not only be turtle’s as well, but to be conjoined twins. Shaking his head slightly he spoke in a pleasant voice.

“are you…..Ethan and Nathan?”

they nodded at him.

“yes. Are you Michelangelo?”

Mikey nodded doing his best to not stare at the two headed turtle in front of him. He watched as Ethan and Nathan stepped back allowing him inside the building before closing the door behind him. After a moment Nathan spoke.

“Welcome to Lairsy College’s radio station. Follow us.”

Falling in line behind them Mikey followed Ethan and Nathan through a few empty dirty rooms before emerging into a kind of lounge area. To his right a couch and a few old armchairs had been set up around a table; with a half eaten box of pizza still resting on i. on the other side of the room a poster board had been set up with several events and dates tacked to the board. As they moved through the room Ethan looked back at him and spoke.

“This is the lounge. We hang out and rest here when we get bored. feel free to use it when you’re done cleaning or as you clean, but try to keep the food off the floor or we get rats.” Mikey shuddered at the thought of rats. Moving through a set of double doors Mikey felt his eyes widen as they came into another room. Shelves lined him on either side; each of them stacked as full as they could be with cassette tapes and old vinyl records. Pausing for a moment to look around Mikey noted that a fine layer of dust coated the shelves and everything on them. he sped up slightly so he could catch up to Ethan and Nathan who continued on their way, towards a small room off to the side. Coming to a stop in front of the door to the side room Ethan spoke. “this is the command center. See that light?”

as he spoke Ethan gestured to a red light just above the door. Mikey nodded,

“yeah.”

Ethan smiled.

“when the light is on it means we’re live and broadcasting, so any loud noises you make out here will get sent out through the radio waves.”

Mikey smiled and nodded, taking the subtle hint that he would need to be quite while he worked. Slowly looking around the room Mikey spoke.

“so the job description was kind of vague. What exactly is it that you want me to do?”

Nathan gestured to the shelves around them.

“The cassettes don't play well because all the dust gets into the tape. We need you to go through them; throw out ones that are beyond saving, and clean the others.”

Looking around the room Mikey spoke the question he’d been wondering since he’d seen all the cassettes.

“Why are they cassettes? Why not use CDs or a digital library?”

Ethan and Nathan sighed at the same time, but it was Nathan who spoke first.

“Because we have almost no money. We get paid $3 an hour to do this, and we can only broadcast once classes are over and only until 11PM. So that’s only 7 hours, or $21. So we can't afford most CDs. Hell the equipment we’ve been using is almost 20 years old.”

As Nathan spoke Ethan’s shoulder slumped slightly, when Ethan spoke his voice had a sad tone to it.

“We’re trying to do our best but…….most people just don't like our music; but we can't get more money unless we bring in more listeners.”

Mikey bit his lip; the situation sucked that was for sure. After a moment Nathan continued.

“as it is we’ll probably have to shut down after the end of this school year, the school doesn’t want to keep paying us, and we can barely keep this place running even with their help.”

Mikey nodded.

“Well……..i guess I’d better do my best to help out around here then.”

Both Nathan and Ethan looked at him.

“You……you still want the job?”

Mikey nodded, smiling at them as he did so.

“This is the only place that I found that will give me a job, even if it’s only for a year; I’ll take it.”

Nathan continued to look at him for a moment while Ethan smiled.

“we can't pay you a lot. We had to beg the Dean to let us hire someone, so like us you’d only get $3. But we generally get a free meal from the pizza place around the corner so……….everything sort of works out.”

Mikey grinned.

“Where would you like me to start?”

 

 

MEANWHILE

RAPH’S POV

 

 

Biting his lip Raph made up his mind, digging into his pocket Raph dialed the number on the scrap of paper and waited nervously as the phone rang.

“Come on……come on…..pick up the phone.”

Expecting it to go to voicemail Raph had been about to start talking when the phone clicked and Donnie’s voice came through the other end.

“Hello?”

Raph sighed, running his hand down his face with relief.

“Donnie……it’s Me.”

after a moment of silence Donnie responded.

“Who is me?”

Raph chuckled.

“It’s me Raph, Mikey’s brother. Look……….can we talk? I have practice in a few minutes but…….afterwards. I……I really need to talk to you.”

He could almost imagine Donnie nodding.

“Of course Raph. Did you want to meet at my office or……..we could meet at my house?”

biting his lip Raph thought for a moment.

“Could……could we meet at your house? I…..I don't like doctor’s offices.”

Donnie chuckled.

“Of course. I’ll text you directions. Just give me a call when you get out of practice. Ok?” Raph nodded to himself.

“Ok, Donnie. See you in an hour or so.”

Hanging up the phone Raph bit his lip as he turned his mind towards practice. Moving into the locker-room he growled at some of the players who moved to speak to him. as he pulled off his shirt tony, a large ram spoke to him.

“geeze dude what the fuck is your problem?!”

again Raph growled.

“None of your fuckin business tony! Piss off!”

he watched as tony bristled at this comment before the ram slammed his locker closed.

“fuck you Raphael!”

slamming his own locker closed Raph busied himself with pulling on the rest of his uniform before moving out onto the field, noting that most of the players went out of their way to avoid being near him. Sitting down on the bench Raph watched as coach shredder moved out in front of them.

“all of you passed your physicals from Dr. Stockman. But I do know that some of you were given vitamins or told to modify your behavior. I want to make it clear; you will do as Stockman instructed. If he gave you pills I expect you to take them, if he told you to exercise more you’ll do it. We will be having a follow up physical at some point and if stockman tells me you haven’t been doing as you’re told then you’ll be kicked off the team. Understand?”

the team mumbled a response of, “yes.”

Coach shredder nodded.

“good. Now we’ve struggled these last two games. And we only won because our opponents let their guard down and got sloppy in the last few moments.”

Coach leaned in closer to them, his voice filled with anger.

“THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. UNDERSTAND?”

everyone nodded.

“if this happens again then I’ll make you all come to practice 5 times a week!”

every player groaned, if coach did that it would put a serious strain on their studies as well as their social lives. But coach growled in response to their moans.

“then get your asses to the line and show me you KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE DOING OUT THERE!”

moving with the rest of the players Raph was about to take his position in the line-up when coach grabbed his arm.

“as for you mister Raphael……let me make one thing clear to you. Your attitude is piss-poor, your footwork is sloppy and if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were actually trying to hurt your teammates. Well I’ve had enough of it. So if you so much as blink at them in a way I don't like, not only will I pull you from the team I’ll make sure that you NEVER play football for this college again. Got it?!”

Raph nodded biting his lip so hard that it bled, while he balled his hands into fists, his finger nails digging painfully into his palms. A moment later he took his position in the lineup.

 

 

LATER

 

 

Tired but happy Mikey pushed open the door to the house. His nostrils widened; sniffing the air as the smell of spaghetti wafted into his nose.

“HEY. I’M HOME.”

A moment later Leo responded, “You’re home early. How was work?”

moving into the kitchen Mikey felt his eyes widen and his heart clench. In front of him Leo sat at the dining room table a smile covering his face. Next to him Leo had lit several candles which filled the room with flickering light. Mikey bit his lip, willing himself not to cry at how beautiful Leo was. Seeing this Leo’s smile faltered slightly.

“Mikey…..Mikey are you ok?”

Mikey nodded, but his sides began to shake as he fought to keep himself from crying. It was so…..everything was so perfect right now. Leo stood up, moving to pull him unto a hug.

“Mikey…..tell me what’s wrong……please.”

But Mikey shook his head, before burying it against Leo’s chest.

“Nothing……nothing is wrong…..everything is…….everything is perfect.”

He looked up, capturing Leo’s lips in a gentle kiss. Everything around him was perfect, everything. He’d never been so happy in his life. Gently the kiss deepened, Mikey groaned as he opened his lips slightly, allowing Leo access to his mouth which he took in a heartbeat. mikey groaned again, moving in as close to Leo as he could as they continued to kiss; shuddering as Leo’s hands trailed down the sides of his body. His heart beat against his chest and he could not help but groan as heat began to pool in his hips, a sign of his growing arousal. They broke apart, both of them panting for air.

“Leo…….”

Mikey’s voice was a whimper. He needed the older turtle RIGHT NOW. Leo leaned in nuzzling his neck for a moment before speaking.

“come on…..the food can wait.”

Mikey yelped slightly as Leo lifted him off his feet. Mikey’s arms wrapped around Leo’s neck as the older turtle carried him through the house, past their bedroom and into the master bathroom. Again Mikey moaned as Leo shifted gently setting him down on the counter before claiming his lips again. he shifted, moving so as to allow Leo to pull began tugging his shirt off; breaking the kiss for a moment as Leo pulled the article of clothing over Mikey’s head. A moment later they were kissing again, this time Mikey shuddering as Leo began to play with the waist line of his jeans. He broke the kiss, burying his face against Leo’s neck as the older turtle slowly unbuttoned his pants and slowly, agonizingly slowly tugged them down lower and lower until they fell away leaning Mikey in only his underwear. He whimpered as Leo pulled back slightly, the sudden loss of contact and heat making Mikey a little cold. He moved forward pressing their bodies back together while his own hands roamed Leo’s body , playing with the soft fabric of his shirt before slowly unbuttoning the dress shirt and throwing it away. next came the pants, making Mikey squirm and groan as in front of him Leo slowly pulled off his jeans before stepping out of them to press their bodies against each other again. His hands moved, roaming along Leo’s chest as the bigger turtle pulled his into another kiss, while Leo’s hands slowly traced Mikey’s chutes. Despite how badly he wanted this Mikey could not help but squirm and whimper slightly as Leo’s hands dipped lower and lower, until they brushed against Mikey's underwear.

He gasped, breaking their kiss as Leo slowly slipped his hands under the fabric cupping Mikey’s hips. He panted, whimpering as Leo gently rubbed his thumbs in circles, agonizingly close to Mikey’s slit, sending small washes of pleasure through his body. He groaned, shifting forward so their pelvises could rub and grind against each other.

“I love you so much.”

He didn’t give Leo a chance to respond as he claimed Leo’s lips, his tongue diving into Leo’s mouth. he pushed his body against Leo’s, loving the frication that came from grinding their bodies against each other. He hands roamed Leo’s hips, coming to stop on top of the large bulge that was Leo’s arousal. He felt Leo break the kiss, the older turtle’s head going back a Mikey’s hand pressed against his pouch. The young turtle had learned VERY quickly how to drive him wild. He panted, grunted and groaned as Mikey continued, first running single finger down Leo’s slit before pressing his whole palm again it, making Leo’s breathe hitch slightly. He grunted, pushing past the pleasure; stripping Mikey of his underwear, the last article of clothing he was wearing leaving him completely naked. Mikey chuckled, continuing to run his hand against Leo’s slit while his free hand mimic’s Leo’s tugging his boxers down to the ground. A second later he was in Leo’s arms as the older turtle scooped him up and carried him into the shower, pausing just long enough to turn on the water. Mikey groaned as the warm water began to cascade down their skin adding another layer to the sensations he was feeling. He grunted ass Leo backed up his shell hitting a wall before sliding down to sit on the floor while they continued to kiss; only breaking the kiss when Leo’s whole body shuddered.

.

.

.

Mikey grinned watching Leo take a deep breath while his head rolled back; as his organ slipped free from his pouch. Leo grunted, lances of pleasure firing through his body as Mikey slowly began to move, pumping Leo’s organ making him let out a low chur.

"M.....Mikey…..” Leo’s voice was husky as his head tipped back a bit further. Leaning in closer Mikey nuzzled Leo’s neck, licking at the soft and sensitive skin.

“shhhhhh, just enjoy it Leo.”

He gripped Leo a little tighter making the older turtle jerk slightly his hands coming up to squeeze Mikey’s hips. He grunted and groaned his hips starting to jerk on their own, humping against Mikey’s hand which continued to pump him, while he felt Mikey shift in his arms. he gripped Mikey’s hips, holding the young turtle in place as Mikey tried to move lower.

“Mikey…….you don't…..”

but Leo’s words were cut off by Mikey’s lips. He knew what Mikey wanted to do, part of him wanted it too. But he’d promised Mikey he’d never again have to do something like that ever again. he groaned pulling Mikey deeper into the kiss, willing the younger turtle to understand that he was perfectly content to stay like this. A gentle growl came from his throat as Mikey stopped pumping him, a small smiling playing across the young turtle’s face as they pulled apart slightly.

“it’s ok Leo, I want to.”

he felt Leo groaned, trying to stop him as he shifted, pushing away from Leo slightly before trailing kisses down Leo’s neck, chest, stomach, and hips before……he looked up, blushing as he found Leo’s eyes upon him; watching his every move. In front of him Leo’s organ begged for attention; which he readily gave it, flicking his tongue out across the thick warm shaft. Above him Leo let out an involuntary gasp, his eyes drifting closed while his head rolled back to rest against the stone wall of the shower. Leo panted, pleasure bubbling through his body as he felt Mikey continue to lick his organ before slowly taking it into his mouth; enticing a moan from Leo. He bit his lip, panting and gasping as Mikey moved, slowly bobbing his head up and down along his shaft, flicking his tongue across Leo’s swollen tip. His toes curled and uncurled while his heart rate jumped several beats. He moaned as he felt Mikey slip down a little further taking more of him into his mouth. His eyes rolled back as he felt pleasure begin to rush through his body. All around him water dripped and trickled down his skin adding to the feelings of pleasure that raced through his body. He gasped, his hands clamping and unclamping as he felt the pleasure built up in his body, making him moan louder and louder. His hand scrambled, searching for Mikey’s hand which he gripped tightly, feeling himself come to the very edge of his endurance.

“MIKEY…..I’M…..AHHHHHH!”

all at once his body locked up, his hand tightened around Mikey’s fingers as white hot pleasure blasted through his body, making his head snap back while his back arched. He panted, gasping for breath as he organ throbbed and spasmed sending wave after wave pulsing through his body. He grunted reaching down to grab Mikey by his shell before pulling the younger turtle against his body, his lips crushing themselves against Mikey’s in a desperate kiss, willing the younger turtle to feel even a fraction of the pleasure that was rushing through his body. He moaned and grunted, his tongue moving in to claim Mikey’s mouth; as he felt Mikey’s hand dip downwards and resume pumping his organ coating Mikey’s fingers in his seed. He broke the kiss, his lips going to Mikey’s neck and he sucked and licked at the sensitive skin, making Mikey whimper and groan as his head tilted back, giving Leo access to more of his flesh. He growled something about Mikey’s moans egged him on, made him suck on the younger turtle’s skin harder and harder until it left a vivid red mark upon the green skin. He looked down at it; the mark he’d left on Mikey’s skin.

It wasn't enough, he wanted to mark Mikey again, to let anyone who saw his shoulder know he had a mate. Again he attacked Mikey’s neck, sucking at the patch of skin just above the first mark, he felt Mikey’s grip around his neck tighten, not enough to tell Leo he was hurting Mikey, but enough to know Mikey was enjoying this. He growled, gently running his teeth against Mikey’s flesh as he sucked and licked at the skin, pulling back to examine the twin red marks he’d made. He felt Mikey moan and bury his face against Leo’s shoulder, panting as Leo’s hand wrapped around Mikey’s member, gently pumping it until the younger turtle reached his own release. Leo smiling, nuzzling Mikey’s neck as the younger turtle groaned and shuddered, releasing his seed, coating Leo’s hand and fingers. He groaned, biting his lip as he buried his face against Leo’s shoulder, riding out the waves of pleasure that made his body quiver. His orgasm wasn't as powerful as Leo’s had been, he was ok with that. He felt Leo shift, wrapping his arms around Mikey's waist, pulling him in a little closer.

They stayed like this for a while, both of them basking in the gentle warmth of their afterglow while warm water dripped and trickled down their skin. Gently Leo nuzzled Mikey neck, gently licking at the twin red marks he’d left on the young turtle’s body. After several minutes Mikey groaned, slowly shifting; rolling over so his shell was against Leo’s chest. Leo felt Mikey grip his wrists, slowly pulling his arms over his chest in a hug. Leo smiled, pulling Mikey in a little closer as Mikey let out a gentle chur, a sign of how happy he was. Leo’s own chur mixed with Mikey’s making the air in the shower vibrate for several minutes.

“I love you Leo.”

Leo squeezed Mikey gently.

“I love you to Mikey.”

Despite the tender moment Mikey could not help but giggle. Every time Leo said that it made him feel giddy, like he wanted to run up to the roof and shout for the whole world to hear that he and Leo loved each other. But he didn’t there were a thousand reasons why he couldn't reason number 1 being that he was too busy enjoying being held by Leo right now. After several more minutes Leo spoke.

“we……should get out now. The food is probably ice cold…..and I have a present for you.”

Mikey shifted, looking back at Leo who smiled at him.

“what is it?”

Leo chuckled and gave him another light squeeze before moving to stand up.

“you’ll have to open it and see.”

Mikey giggled again as Leo pulled him to his feet before lifting him up into his arms. he buried his face against Leo’s chest, reviling in the scent Leo let off as they moved out of the shower, pausing long enough for leo to shut off the water with his foot. Slowly setting Mikey down on his feet Leo reached back and grabbed a towel before moving to dry Mikey off, an act that made him giggle and shriek as Leo rubbed the towel all over his body; the soft cloth tickling his sides. He groaned, leaning in closer as Leo’s lips met his in a gentle kiss. He moved in closer wrapping his arms around Leo’s neck while their chests and hips rubbed together. After a moment they broke apart, Leo gripping Mikey’s hand as he led him from the bathroom and into the bedroom. Gently pushing him down onto the bed Leo grinned. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He watched as Leo moved across the room kneeling down to dig around in the closet for a moment before turning around with a paper package in his hands.

“I…….I meant to wrap it, but you got home early…...sorry”

moving back to Mikey Leo handed Mikey the package and watched as the young turtle undid the bands of tape that held the plain brown paper in place. he watched as Mikey peeled back the paper revealing the garment inside. his heart clenched as he saw Mikey’s eyes widen slightly.

“L…..L…..Leo?”

he watched as Mikey reached out, gently touching the fabric only to flinch slightly.

“I…..I…..It’s real?”

Leo nodded watching as Mikey began to tremble slightly.

“Mikey?”

but Mikey continued to tremble as he slowly picked up the folded cloth revealing its true form. He felt his breath hitch in his chest as he ran his fingers over the soft smooth silk, his fingers barely touching the garment for fear of getting it dirty. His fingers ghosted over the flowers stitched into the sides, the hand sewn seams, the beautiful fabric. Slowly he shifted, his hand going to his face to try and stop the tears that were leaking from his eyes. A moment later Leo was hugging him, trying to comfort him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry Mikey. I…..I…..I’m so sorry.”

He wrapped his arms tightly around Mikey, pain welling up in his stomach as he saw Mikey react to his gift. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. Hadn’t meant to make Mikey cry or to bring up the memories of that night, he’d thought Mikey would be….

But his thoughts ended as Mikey kissed him, a gently sweet kiss that last only a moment before Mikey wrapped his own arms around Leo’s shoulders.

“I love it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Leo pulled back slightly to look at him, tears still trickled down his face but he was smiling.

“You……you like it?”

Mikey nodded, slowly picking up the silk garment.

“I love it.”

Leo bit his lip as he shifted back, allowing Mikey to stand up and hold the garment against his body. He’d tried to find a kimono similar to the one Mikey had worn on Halloween. It hadn’t been easy, in the end he’d had to custom order one to get the pattern and colors he’d wanted. He watched as Mikey looked down, frowning as a small bundle fell from the kimono’s folds.

“What’s that?”

smiling Leo knelt down and picked up the package, slowly unwrapping it his smile growing as he did so.

“It’s a flower…….for you.”

Moving forward Leo placed the flower on Mikey’s head on the right hand side, making sure the string would keep it in place before stepping back to look at Mikey.

“Do you want to try it on?”

Mikey nodded.

“Ok, hold still and let me help you.”

The next several minutes were busy as Leo helped Mikey into the kimono, showing him how to fold the fabric so it hugged his body before wrapping the long sash around his hips before tucking in the ends. He watched as Mikey slowly spun, looking at his form in the kimono before nervously smiling at Leo, a faint blush spreading over Mikey’s face.

“s….so…….how do I look?”

Leo smiled, moving into the kiss Mikey again. pulling apart he rested his forehead against Mikey’s, smiling at the younger turtle who continued to blush.

“Like you’re my little princess, and I’m your big strong warrior.”

A moment later they kissed again.

 

 

RAPH’S POV

 

 

Raph groaned, slowly leaned back in the shower to allow the cold water to rush over his skin. He could tell something was off, something about him was off. Practice had been brutal that day; coach had pushed them all to the point of near exhaustion. And yet while his other teammates had gasped and panted, trying to keep going he’d not felt nearly as tired as he should have. True he did have more endurance then most of his team; but even he had his limits, limits he thought he should have reached during the practice. Then on the drive home he’d started to notice it, the faint heat that clung to his skin, and made him sweat despite the cool night air. The moment he’d gotten home he’d downed a bottle of water thinking it was dehydration, but the heat had continued. He panted finally free from the heat as the cold water flowed over his skin making him shiver slightly.

Shutting off the water with his foot Raph remained sitting on the shower floor for a moment, catching his breath before standing up and drying himself off. Leving the bathroom Raph didn’t bother to put on clothes, instead heading straight for him room and dropping himself down onto his bed with a low groan. Yes he was tired, but it wasn't the same kind of tired. It wasn't the kind of tired that dragged at his body and made him feel slow and weak; it was the kind of tired that beckoned to him, calling him to come and rest. Groaning he rolled over so he was facing his night stand before reaching out to grab the two bottles that sat on top. Popping another vitamin pill into his mouth Raph swallowed it before putting the bottles back. hey lay there for a minute longer, almost tempted to close his eyes and go to sleep. but he groaned before sitting up. no, he'd said he needed to talk to donnie; and he was going to. pulling on his pants raph got dressed and was soon out the door, texting donnie for directions as he went.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

 

 

Following the directions Donnie gave him Raph pulled up in front of the house. Texting Donnie again Raph waited before shutting off his jeep as Donnie opened the front door and waved to him. Getting out of his car Raph moved to Donnie who smiled.

“Hello Raph; I almost thought you might not make it tonight.”

Raph shrugged, following Donnie into his home.

“Sorry. I was all hot and sweaty after practice so I ran home and showered.”

Donnie chuckled.

“I like guys who are hot a sweaty.”

A second later he clapped his hand to his mouth as his face went red. He glanced back noting the slightly amused look on his face.

“Are you flirting with me?”

Donnie’s blush deepened.

“s…s…sorry. I tend to get a little……spontaneous when I drink…...sorry.”

Raph chuckled.

“It’s ok Donnie. Just promise you’ll wait until after I’m done talking before you try to make out with me.”

Donnie felt his face heat up as they stepped into the living room. Motioning for Raph to sit on the couch Donnie did his best to not look at the red turtle who sank down onto his couch letting out a low groan.

“Hey……are you drinking beer?”

Donnie nodded, chancing a glance up at Raph who grinned at him.

“Mind if I bum one from you?”

Donnie nodded before moving into the kitchen before opening the fridge and pulling out a cold beer before handing it to Raph who chuckled and popped the bottle open with his hand. As he moved to take a drink Raph spoke.

“Look Donnie…..I was just joking before. You don't have to feel so nervous around me.”

Donnie nodded and took a deep breath. This always happened when he drank a little; he somehow lost his calm and could be knocked off ‘balance’ by the most joking of comments. Sitting down in a chair he spoke.

“You said you needed to speak with me. Is everything ok?”

he watched as Raph took a drink from his bottle before speaking.

“Actually……no. everything is not ok. A few days ago Mikey and I went to the mall. While we were eating in the food court he suddenly starts breathing really hard and shaking. He told me he had a panic attack.”

Donnie nodded, he’d wondered if something like this had happened. During Mikey’s next session he’d been very evasive about what he and Raph had done and talked about during their visit. Sitting forward Donnie watched as Raph looked up at him.

“What caused it? Why did Mikey have a panic attack?”

Donnie sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“I can't tell you that.”

Raph growled, feeling anger bubble in his stomach.

“The hell you can't Donnie.”

But Donnie shook his head, sighing as he did so.

“no I can't. It’s against the law.”

Again Raph growled at him. Sighing again Donnie spoke.

“Look Raph…….” His voice trailed off as he tried to figure out just how much he could say without breaking any laws, or Mikey’s trust. “There are thing………..in Mikey past. Things that you don't know about…..” Donnie held up his hand as Raph moved to speak. “And these things……..they cause him pain, even today. The memories are too painful.” Again Donnie held up his hands as Raph moved to speak. “I’m helping him to work past the pain. To not only move beyond it, but to understand why it hurts him in the first place. Until he is ready to tell you about it himself, it would not only be professionally wrong but it would also be morally and ethically wrong for me to tell you about it. These are Mikey’s demons, they are his most private and personal thoughts.” Donnie sighed trying to think of a way to put this that would allow Raph to truly understand what he was saying. “Imagine……..imagine if I told your best friend about all the things that scared you. About every bad memory, and every horrible thought you’ve ever had. How would that make you feel?”

Raph was silent for a moment before speaking.

“Angry…..betrayed……scared of what they would think.”

Donnie nodded.

“Now imagine if I told your brother. Imagine if I told Mikey everything you had told me.”

Raph's shoulders slumped forward slightly while his eyes drifted closed as he let out a loud sigh. After several moments he spoke.

“can……can you at least tell me………..did I do this to him? am I……responsible for this?”

Donnie bit his lip, fighting to comfort the obviously upset Raphael; while at the same time protect the secrets mikey had entrusted him with. After a moment he spoke.

“if I say yes then what happens?”

Raph looked up at him a look of confusion covering his face.

“what?”

Donnie repeated himself.

“if I say yes, if I tell you that you’re part of Mikey’s pain; what happens? Do you get angry? Do you become sad? Will you run to Mikey and beg for forgiveness for something that you don't even know about? Or will it just add to the mountain of burdens you’re already carrying?” Donnie sighed, moving over to the couch to pull raph into a gentle but comforting one armed hug. “Raph…….i know it’s hard. Believe me I know. I know what it’s like to look at someone you love and know that they are hurting. I know what it’s like to want to help them but not be able to. I know……trust me.” as he spoke he gave Raph's form a gentle squeeze. “if you really want to know I’ll tell you Raph. But you have to be sure, you’re struggling under so much already. Do….do you think you can handle even one more burden?”

Raph looked up at him his face filled with confusion, fear, pain and uncertainty.

“I……I don't know.”

Donnie nodded.

“do you want to talk about it?”

after several moments Raph nodded.

“I just…….I feel………..please, I’m not good with my words. So just…..just try to understand ok?” Donnie nodded. He was used to patients who fumbled with their words while trying to explain how they felt. He watched as Raph struggled to speak for several minutes. “I’m just……..” Raph's hands balled into fists his knuckles turning white from how tightly he was squeezing. “I’m PISSED OFF……AT……….EVERYTHING. I…..I……” he stood up, the sudden urge to move filling his body as he began to pace back and forth. “my classes suck. I mean when the fuck am I ever gunna use half the shit they’re trying to teach me?! Football used to make me happy, but now I wanna rip everyone’s head off whenever I hear them laugh or speak. Coach says he might kick me off the team, because I’m not playing well anymore. Mikey’s in pain that I can't seemed to be able to help fix. And……and………WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO PISS ME OFF?!” he bellowed at Donnie who didn’t flinch or act startled by Raph's outburst. Slowly he stood up, moving to touch Raph's shoulder, an action that made Raph snarl and take a step backwards. “WHY……WHY…….WHY IS THE ONLY EMOTION I CAN EXPRESS ANGER?!” he backed away from Donnie until his shell hit the wall. Against his will he whimpered as Donnie touched his shoulder. The touch was gentle and caring….not something he was used to.

“Raph…..look at me.”

he didn’t want to. He wanted to rage and scream and break something. he wanted to grab something and smash it into a billion pieces. Yet his body moved on its own, slowly tilting his head up to look at Donnie. “take a deep breath.” He did as he was told, inhaling air until his lungs twinged with pain. “Now exhale.” He let his breath go, feeling the air leave his body. Slowly he sank down, his shell running along the wall until he was sitting. He wasn't used to this, feeling this way, feeling……helpless. Slowly Donnie moved kneeling down to sit on the floor next to him. “Now Raph…….I want you to try and keep calm ok?” Raph nodded. “I’ll…..try.” Donnie smiled at him. “good. Now I want you to tell me, at this EXACT moment; what are you feeling?” Raph took a deep breath.

“I’m….scared, confused, angry, in pain and……kind of hot.”

It was true, when he’d started yelling the room had felt like it had jumped several degrees hotter. As he spoke he felt small beads of sweat appear on his skin. Donnie nodded.

“ok. Now I want to tell me. why do you feel scared?”

Raph took another deep breathe.

“Because…..because if I screw up or make a mistake then Mikey might not be able to finish school.” Donnie watched as Raph looked at him, fear clearly evident in the larger turtle’s eyes. “He…….he’s so smart Donnie. He needs this, he needs to go to school so he can get a great job that pays him a lot. I……I know I don't have much of a chance here. I don't expect to get a great job but…….but HE needs this.” Donnie nodded, during one of their sessions Donnie had gotten Mikey to take several intelligence tests, under the guise of them being psychological aptitude quizzes; as he had suspected Mikey scored a nearly perfect percent, a sign that Mikey was a lot smarter than most people knew.

“what makes you think you’ll mess up?”

Raph groaned.

“Because I hate my teammates. Because I wanna rip their heads off and beat them to death for hurting my brother, and then lying to my face.”

Donnie sighed.

“understandable. Now, tell me why you’re confused. Remember to breathe.”

Raph nodded and took several more breathes before speaking. “I’m confused because I don't know what’s going on. Mikey and I never used to keep secrets. Well…….ok yeah we had secrets but never anything big. Never anything that put us in danger. But now I find out he’s been keeping lots of secrets from me. He’s gay, he got attacked, the things from his past. I…..I just……I don't understand how he could keep those things from me.” Donnie sighed and shifted, reaching out to touch Raph's hand.

“he did it to protect you.” Raph looked at him.

“What?”

Donnie nodded; he could talk about this and not betray Mikey or his code of ethics. “Raph you must understand. Just as you’re Mikey’s protector Mikey feels the need to protect you from problems he feels would interfere with your own goals. He’s as much your protector as you are his.” Raph sighed, leaning his forehead against his knees. That did sound like something Mikey would do. Donnie continued, “We already talked about why you’re angry, so let’s go into the pain. How are you in pain?”

Raph sighed again.

“I……lately I’ve been getting headaches. I don't know what’s causing them but they can get pretty bad. I only started getting them after thanksgiving.”

Donnie moved in a little closer.

“are you drinking enough water?” Raph nodded, dehydration had been the first thing he’d ruled out. “are you eating anything new?”

Raph shrugged.

“during my physical the doctors said I needed to try and eat healthier; so I’ve been trying. Oh and he gave me some vitamin pills to take every day.”

Donnie nodded slowly and was silent for a moment before speaking. 

“Raph, I’m not a physical doctor by any means but……I think your headaches are being caused by stress. It sounds like every day you stretch your mind almost to its breaking point with everything that is going on, and these headaches is your body’s way of telling you to stop.”

Raph sighed.

“well then I’m fucked. I can't quite the football team until after the season is over.”

Donnie shook his head.

“well eating healthier will help a bit. But I would recommend that once or twice a week you take a nice hot back and just relax.”

Raph stared at him for a moment.

“that may work for you and Leo, but not for me.”

Donnie raised an eyebrow.

“being gay has nothing to do with it. the heat will relax your muscles and the calm will let your mind clear. Just try it next time you get a headache.”

Raph rolled his eyes, but nodded.

“fine.”

Donnie smiled.

“look Raph, I get it. Your situation sucks. but it doesn’t have to crush you. Just focus on football, do as well as you can so that when other schools hear that you’re looking to transfer they’ll beg you to come to them instead.”

Again Raph sighed but nodded.

“ok Donnie.”

Slowly they got to their feet, Raph moving back to the couch while Donnie returned to his chair. Dropping himself onto the couch Raph took another drink from his beer before speaking.

“I…….I’m seeing someone.”

He felt his face go a little red as he spoke. Donnie smiled.

“that’s great. Tell me about her.”

Again Raph felt his face go a bit red. In truth he didn’t know a whole lot about harmony.

“well…… her name is Harmony, she goes to our school. her father is a bit of an uptight asshole, she’s trying to earn a bachelor’s degree in political science, and……….”

Raph's voice trailed off, there wasn't much else he could tell Donnie about Harmony without it elating to sex somehow. But Donnie seemed to know what Raph was thinking when he spoke next.

“I take it, that it’s mostly a physical relationship?”

Raph swallowed another mouthful of beer before nodded. Across from his Donnie shrugged.

“that’s your business Raph. I won’t lie and say that mindless sex is bad; sometimes it’s just what a person needs.”

This time it was Raph who raised an eyebrow.

“Have you ever had a relationship like that?”

he wasn't sure what made him ask it, but something in the back of his mind made him doubt that Donnie was capable of such a ‘shallow’ connection to another person. Yet Donnie nodded.

“I’ve had a few like that. They can be nice; there are no expectations or pressure, just mindless fun. But I don't actively seek out guys for that kind of stuff. I want something stable and happy.”

Raph was silent for a moment before speaking. As he spoke he shifted a bit nervously, he really wasn't sure why he was asking this.

“so……so……..like………can you explain it to me?”

Donnie looked at him a little confused.

“explain what?”

Raph sighed and took another sip of beer, noting that his stomach gave a small lurch as he did so.

“well…….I……how does being with another guy go?”

Donnie raised an eyebrow as a faint smirk spread across his face.

“Raph are you asking about se-”

“NO, NO, NO!” Raph's voice echoed off the walls as he frantically waved his hands to stop Donnie from finishing his sentence. “NO, I’M NOT ASKING ABOUT SEX! I CAN…….” He forced himself to take a deep breath, his heart was pounding a bit harder then he would have liked to admit. “I can figure out how sex works but…..I mean……..how can you be with another guy? I mean……..how do you decide who does stuff? Who cooks, cleans, works? I just….”

He voice trailed off as Donnie shrugged.

“when you’re with a girl how do you decide that stuff?” Raph watched as Donnie smiled at him. “look Raph. It’s not that different from being with a girl. Both of us play our own rolls in the relationship. We don't really change much; it just means that at the end of the day I crawl into bed and hug a man instead of a girl.”

Raph nodded, taking another sip of beer. Across from him Donnie smirked slightly.

“now on the other hand sex with a man is VERY different than-”

but Donnie broke off as Raph again began waving his hands to shut him up. Laughing Donnie watched as Raph shakily set his now empty bottle of beer on the table next to the couch. He watched as Raph leaned back, closing his eyes and groaning.

“Raph……are you ok?”

Raph was silent for a moment before speaking.

“I feel hot. Can……..can I have a glass of water?”

nodding Donnie stood up, moving into the kitchen before filling a glass with water before handing it to Raph who had stood up and was now leaning against the bar. He watched as Raph drank the water, noting that Raph's skin was a few shades paler then it had been when he’d seen him last. He watched as Raph set the glass down before taking several deep breaths.

“Than…..thank you.”

Donnie nodded.

“Are you ok?”

Raph continued to take several deep breaths before speaking again.

“Where is your bathroom?”

following the directions Donnie gave him Raph staggered down the hallway, dimly aware that Donnie was following him. he felt his stomach lurch as he entered the bathroom. Dropping to his knees Raph barely had time to lift the toilet lid before his stomach lurched again. a second later he vomited, his sides heaving and sobbing as the vile, burning, acidic substance flooding his throat and mouth. He felt Donnie shift, kneeling down to rub his shell as he continued to vomit. He gripped the toilet bowl silently praying that his suffering would end soon. He coughed and gagged, choking on the horrible substance that bubbled up from his stomach. Slowly it subsided, the flow of vomit dying before finally stopping; allowing Raph to spit out the last few dregs before leaning back so his shell rested against the wall. Donnie’s hand shifted, going to his shoulder.

“Just breathe Raph. I’ll get you some more water. Ok?”

Raph nodded, closing his eyes as he focused on his breathing; in and out. A moment later he felt Donnie push something cold and hard into his hand. Bringing the cup to his mouth he drank the cool water, gasping and shuddering slightly as the surprisingly cold water pooled in his hot stomach making him aware of just how hot he felt. A moment later he felt Donnie touch his forehead.

“Raph, you’re burning up.”

Raph groaned as he drank the last of the water.

“M…..more.”

he felt Donnie pull the glass from his grip before the sound of water filled the air. Draining the second glass Raph groaned as he felt Donnie press something cool to his forehead. Groaning Raph's eyes peeked open, finding that Donnie was holding a cold washcloth against his forehead.

“That…..feels good.”

Donnie nodded.

“I know, that’s why I’m doing it. Are you feeling better?”

Raph nodded. It was true; the cold water had helped a lot.

“s…sorry.”

Donnie cocked his head sideways at him.

“For what?”

Raph shrugged.

“For this. If I’d known I was gunna be sick I’d have stayed home. I…..I don't like being a burden to people.”

Donnie smiled weakly at him.

“You and Mikey have that in common. He hates feeling useless.”

Raph nodded, that certainly sounded like his brother.

“Thing is Raph, sometimes you have to let people take care of you.”

Raph sighed and nodded.

“I know…..doesn’t mean I have to like it though.”

Donnie nodded and removed the cold cloth from Raph's forehead so he could again run it under the stream of cold water from the faucet. Turning back to Raph, Donnie pressed the cloth against Raph's forehead making the larger turtle groan. Against his will Donnie bit his lip as he felt Raph's muscles ripple. He knew Raph was in pain, that he was sick, and needed to be cared for; but at the same time he could not help but notice just how…..sculpted Raph's body was. The muscles all clearly and well defined. Shaking his head slightly Donnie busied himself with dabbing at Raph's forehead for several minutes before speaking.

“do you think you can move?”

Raph groaned but nodded.

“Yeah……I should get going.”

As he moved to stand the room spun making his groaned and lean back against the wall. Next to him Donnie shook his head.

“no.”

Raph looked at Donnie as he moved; putting one arm around Raph's shoulder so Raph could lean on him for support.

“No?”

Donnie nodded.

“You can barely stand. You think I’m gunna let you get behind the wheel of a car? Come with me.”

Raph didn’t argue as Donnie moved, taking baby steps as he led Raph out of the bathroom, through the hallway, up the stairs and……Raph groaned as the world spun around him.

“If I…..didn’t know…….better……..I’d think…………you roofied me.”

Donnie rolled his eyes.

“Don't flatter yourself Raph. You’re not that hot.”

Raph chuckled, an action that made the world spin again. He watched as Donnie pushed open a door which revealed a bedroom. Raph chuckled again; thank full that this time the world did not spin.

“so…..it was all…….part of you plan to get……..me into bed?”

Donnie could not help but chuckle at this.

“Whatever you say drunky.”

Shifting Raph Donnie watched as the larger turtle dropped down onto his bed, groaning as he closed his eyes.

“soft.”

Donnie smiled. His sheet were soft, he preferred them that way.

“Are you still hot?”

Raph nodded.

“here…..”

sitting down on the bed next to Raph's form Donnie shifted, reaching over Raph to tug at his shirt, pulling off the article of clothing. Again Donnie bit his lip as his action revealed more of Raph's perfectly sculpted stomach, chest, shoulders, and arms. Again he shook his head. No, now was not the time to think about Raph; about his perfect body and how it would feel if he……. He shook his head a little more forcefully.

“h…h…how about now?”

Raph groaned, one of his eyes opening to look up at Donnie.

“b…better. Thank you.”

Donnie nodded, swallowing forcefully as he continued to look down at Raph.

“You should sleep. The bathroom is just across the hallway if you need to use it in the night. Ok?”

he moved to get up and leave the room only to have Raph grab his wrist.

“Donnie…….”

Donnie bit his lip, part of him ached to hear Raph say his name again; to hear his name spoken by those dark green lips.

“Thank you Donnie.”

Donnie swallowed again.

“Don’t……don’t mention it. What are…….friends for?”

but Raph shook his head.

“Not……for me, for Mikey. Thank you for helping him. Thank you…….thank you so much.”

Donnie nodded.

“I’m happy to help.”

He felt Raph squeeze his wrist tightly.

“Promise me something.”

Donnie nodded and Raph continued.

“Promise me, that you’ll cure Mikey. That you’ll take away all the pain he’s feeling.”

Donnie sighed but nodded.

“I’ll……..I’ll do my best. But…….at the end of the day it up to him.”

Raph groaned his eyes drifting closed. Feeling Raph let go of his wrists Donnie moved, walking around the bed before getting in under the blankets. Next to him Raph groaned.

“what…..are…….doing?”

Donnie chuckled.

“this is still my bed. I’m going to sleep in it.”

Raph groaned.

“I might throw up on you.”

Donnie growled slightly.

“if you throw up on my then I throw you out of this bed. Got it?”

Raph chuckled.

“so long as you stay on your side, we’ll be fine.”

Again Donnie rolled his eyes.

“you aint that cute jock-boy.”

Raph didn’t respond; a gentle snore coming from his mouth instead. Rolling his eyes again Donnie buried his face against the pillow and did his best to ignore the gentle snoring of the hot jock laying next to him.

 

 

THE NEXT DAY

MIKEY’S POV

 

 

Mikey sat in his desk, nervously watching as in front of him his math teacher handed out their tests.

“you’ll have 90 minutes to answer as many questions as you can. Once the time is up you may leave for Christmas break. I will contact you about your scores later in the week.”

Mikey took a deep breath, Leo’s words echoing in his head.

‘just relax. Take deep breaths and focus. You’ll do great.’

“you may begin your tests.”

 

 

LATER

 

 

Mikey laughed and giggled as Leo opened the front door of the house and allowed him to step forward. The weight that had rested on his shoulders hours ago had been lifted. His tests were over, and for the next 2 weeks he didn’t have to think about school. He felt Leo pull him into a hug, leaning his nose down to nuzzle Mikey’s neck.

“so, how do you think you did?”

Mikey shrugged groaning as Leo continued to nuzzle his neck.

“Math was……ok. English was good, I bet I passed history. As for Japanese studies……..i think I might need to seduce the teacher to make sure I pass.”

Leo chuckled.

“I don't know; I hear he’s a bit of a hard ass. You’d have to work really hard to seduce him.”

Mikey giggled as he felt Leo’s hands slowly work their way under his shirt. He turned, capturing Leo’s lips in his own; their tongue rubbing and exploring each other’s mouths. He felt Leo pin him against the wall. It was heaven, pure bliss. But their heaven was interrupted as the phone began to ring. Leo growled as Mikey’s eyes flicked in the direction of the ringer. Mikey shifted, adopting a more submissive pose while letting out a gentle whimper.

“Professor Leo. I think my grades are slipping is there anything I can do to bring them up? anything at all?”

Leo nodded and leaned back in, capturing Mikey’s lips again; while pressing his body against Mikey’s. In the distance the answer machine beeped and a female voice spoke through the house.

“Hello Leo. My name is Doctor Malory, I work at ST. Lukes hospital. I’m calling to inform you that your father was rushed to the emergency room after he suffered what appears to be a massive stroke.”

Leo’s lips left Mikey’s as his head jerked towards the direction of the phone.

“I……I don't know how close you are with your father but……..if there is anything you need to say to him that can't wait…….i’d get here soon. We estimate he’d only got a few days left. I’m…….i’m sorry to give you such bad news around this time of year. If you have any questions please call us back.”

A moment later the machine beeped again signaling the end of the message.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

THE NEXT MORNING

 

 

“You don't want to go see your father?”

Mikey blinked confused as he watched Leo lean back in his chair and shake his head. Leo had changed since last night, since the hospital had called him. After the call he didn’t want to do anything. He hadn’t wanted to watch TV, take a shower, and not even continue the little role-play they had been doing seconds before.

“Not even a little. As far as he cares I’m dead to him; and the feeling is mutual. I haven’t seen, talked, or even tried to contact my father in……..almost 16 years; not since I left for college.”

Mikey watched as Leo leaned forward slightly and took a sip from his cup of coffee. Closing his eyes Mikey tried to imagine how Leo was feeling; in the end though he simply couldn’t. He could not imagine being so angry with someone that he never saw him again.

“Leo…….he’s your father……”

Leo looked at him for a moment before shrugging.

“He sure didn’t act like it when I was being molested.”

Leo’s tone was harsh; filled with anger and pain. Mikey bit his lip; something Leo noticed. Sighing Leo changed his face, giving Mikey what he hoped was a kind smile.

“Mikey…….I know you mean well……..but this………my father made it very clear what he thought of me the day I left. He told me point blank that I was dead to him and that I was not welcome back in his house so long as he lived.”

Mikey sighed.

“But……the hospital called you. That means you have to be listed under his emergency contacts. Why would that be unless he still cared about you?”

Leo sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“I……..I…….I don't know.”

Mikey pressed his advantage, leaning forward towards Leo.

“Go and see him Leo. You won’t get another chance…….please? Even if you don't……talk to him. You should at least be there…….for his funeral.”

Leo looked at him sadly for several minutes.

“Only if you come with me.”

Mikey felt his eyes widen.

“wh…what?”

Leo repeated himself.

“I’ll go and see my father, but only if you come with me.”

Mikey blinked several times still trying to figure out what Leo had asked him.

“You want me…….to come with…….you to see your……dying father?”

Leo nodded and spoke.

“Mikey……you’re a bigger part of my life then my father EVER was. I want you with me so I can show him that I’m happy; despite what he put me through.”

Mikey bit his lip.

“What……what about your mother? Will she be ok with me being there?”

Mikey watched as Leo closed his eyes taking a deep breath before speaking.

“my mother…….died when I was 6.”

Mikey felt his eyes widen.

“I’m……..I’m sorry.”

Leo took another deep breath; again Mikey’s eyes widened as he noticed Leo’s sides were shaking slightly. Biting his lip again Mikey did his best to comfort Leo, moving around the table to hug Leo’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry Leo. I’m…….”

but Leo spoke calmly, despite his sides which continued to shake.

“My mind won’t change Mikey. Either you come with me or I won’t go to see my father.”

Mikey sighed and nodded, before leaning in to rest his head against Leo’s shoulder.

Ok Leo. Ok I’ll come.”

Leo smiled and shifted, taking Mikey’s hands into his own.

“Thank you Mikey.”

Mike nodded, giving Leo a soft kiss.

“not like I have much of a choice.”

Leo chuckled.

“not really.”

Mikey giggled as Leo pulled him onto his lap and nuzzled his neck.

“I love you so much.”

Mikey smiled at him.

“I love you too.”

 

 

DONNIE’S POV

 

 

Donnie did his best to stay focused on the task at hand; making breakfast. Down the hallway he could hear the water running as Raph showered. Biting his lip Donnie fought the urge to sneak down the hallway and……… he shook his head. What was wrong with him? Was he seriously even considering spying on Raph while the muscular jock showered? Sighing Donnie closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Waking up had been……..nice. he found that in the middle of the night they had both shifted; their bodies huddling and pressing together for heat; so that when Donnie had woken up he’d found his face buried against Raph's shoulder. Shaking his head Donnie did his best to forget how nice Raph had smelled, how good it had felt to wake up next to the large turtle, to find one of Raph's arms around his shoulders in an almost loving embrace. He was snapped from his thoughts as the shower shut off. Shaking his head Donnie busied himself with his task; making sure the eggs in front of him didn’t burn. Flipping the eggs out of the pan Donnie looked up as he heard Raph speak. “thanks for letting me use your shower.” Donnie felt his face blush slightly as he looked up, catching sight of Raph who was only wearing the shorts he’d worn last night; while his shirt was slung over his shoulder. Providing Donnie with a rather……unobstructed view of Raph's perfectly sculpted stomach and chest. Against his will he let out a low groan; he’d give anything to feel those muscles against his skin, to feel those insanely muscular arms wrap around his hips or pin him against the wall while Raph's lips….. again he groaned as his mind rapidly constructed a scene; him and Raph alone….naked…..Raph’s body pressed against his own, Raph's hands……pinning him down while Raph's lips claimed his flesh and…..

“HELLO? EARTH TO DONNIE!”

Donnie snapped out of his day dream, his eyes blinking as they found that Raph had crossed the room and was now standing in front of him. He blinked several times; trying to ride his face of thee red blush that still covered it.

“s….sorry. Got caught up in……stuff.”

Raph raised an eyeridge at him.

“What kind of stuff?”

Donnie shrugged doing his best to seem nonchalant as he dropped some toast into the toast to buy himself a few extra seconds.

“Nothing just………just things I have to do today.”

Raph looked at him.

“Like?”

Donnie sighed at least he could talk about this without thinking of Raph in a sexual manner.

“Well I have paperwork to fill out, medical records to signs, patients to see. Stuff like that.”

Raph nodded, watching as Donnie pulled down plates and glasses for them to use. he took the plate Donnie was holding out to him.

“Well I thin-”

but Donnie’s words were cut off as the phone began to ring. Gesturing to the food Donnie spoke quickly.

“Take what you want.”

Picking up the phone Donnie spoke.

“Hello?”

a moment later he smiled at Leo’s voice.

“Donnie? How are you?”

Donnie sighed.

“I’m ok.”

Something in Leo’s tone was off. It held a kind of……..awkwardness to it. A sign that Leo wasn't completely comfortable with what he was going to say.

“so………..Donnie can I ask a favor of you?”

Donnie blinked before speaking.

“Of course Leo. What is it?”

Leo was silent for a moment before he spoke again.

“Mikey and I are gunna be out of town for a while, could you swing by every now and then to get the mail and water the plants?”

Donnie smiled; he could just imagine Leo and Mikey laid out on some beach somewhere, holding hands, eating ice cream.

“Where are you two gunna go?”

As he spoke he noted that Raph looked up at him, understanding that one of the ‘two’ was Mikey. Leo sighed deeply before responding.

“Last night……I got a call from the hospital in my home town. My father……..he had a massive stroke and he’s dying.”

Donnie felt his eyes widen in shock.

“Oh my god, Leo……”

but Leo continued.

“So Mikey and I are gunna leave a little bit later today and I was hoping you’d keep an eye on the place.”

Donnie nodded, forgetting that Leo couldn't see him.

“Of course Leo. Are……are you ok?”

from his spot at the table Raph looked at Donnie, cocking his head to the side. Donnie shrugged at him and mouthed the words ‘in a moment’.

“Yeah…….I’m………ask me again when I get back.”

Donnie smiled weakly to himself.

“Leo……..how are you-”

but Leo cut him off.

“Donnie I’m really not sure how I feel right now. Ok? The only reason I’m going is cause Mikey wants me to so……please don't ask me how I’m doing again.”

Donnie sighed.

“Ok, Leo. Still, I’m sorry this happened.”

he didn’t have to be there to know Leo had shrugged.

“Thanks Donnie. I’m gunna go now, Mikey is glaring at me cause he thinks I’m stalling so I don't have to pack.”

Despite how he was feeling Donnie chuckled.

“Ok Leo. Have a safe trip.”

“Thanks Donnie. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Hanging up the phone Donnie paused for a moment before speaking.

“Leo’s father…….had a stroke.”

Raph's eyes widened.

“What?”

Donnie nodded.

“He and Mikey are going back to Leo’s hometown to try and see him.”

Raph was silent for a moment before speaking.

“Why do you say it like that?”

Donnie raised an eyeridge.

“Like what?”

Raph shrugged and took another bite of eggs.

“You sound as though you’re surprised Leo is going back home.”

Donnie sighed.

“I am. Leo hates his father. I’m willing to bet you anything that Mikey is the only reason Leo’s going back.”

Raph cocked his head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

Donnie sighed while he chewed on his lip, trying to figure out just how much he could tell Raph.

“Do you know what projection is?”

Raph shook his head, and Donnie nodded.

“Ok. Projection is where someone sees another person as a kind of……..avatar for themselves. Like when you’re happy that someone who’s similar to you does well. You feel a sense of joy despite the fact that YOU weren’t the one who accomplished that thing.”

Raph nodded, showing that he understood.

“Leo and Mikey have both gone through similar traumas in their pasts. Because of this and because of his romantic feelings for your brother Leo kind of……..sees a bit of himself in Mikey.”

Raph blinked at Donnie, obviously not fully understanding him. Donnie sighed.

“Ok……look, Leo never got help with his problems ok. He bundled them up and never told anyone, never went to a therapist, never got help or moved past them. for years he’s held onto the pain and fear; despite the fact that he knew he needed to get help. When Mikey came along Leo kind of….projected on to him. By making Mikey get help Leo was kind of……’testing the waters’ to see if therapy would really help Mikey. And I can tell you; it has.”

Raph slowly swallowed his food before speaking.

“so you’re saying, Leo wanted to be sure therapy would help; by making Mikey go first?”

Donnie nodded.

“yes. I would imagine Leo really doesn’t want to go back to his home town, but at the same time he wants to move on from his pain. This is just an attempt to do that.”

Raph nodded and took another bite of his toast before speaking.

“do you think it will work?”

Donnie sighed before shrugging.

“I don't know. it’s possible it might. Or it’s possible that being back in his hometown, where all of this happened; will trigger an episode with Leo. He might lash out, become violent or he could shut down and become unresponsive.”

Raph's eyes widened a little.

“could he hurt Mikey?” Donnie shrugged.

“it’s possible, but I don't think so. Leo loves Mikey. He’d rather cut off his own hands then hurt Mikey. But if he’s backed into a psychological corner he could be capable of just about anything. Once we’re done eating I’m going to call Mikey and talk with him.”

Raph nodded. Looking down at his plate Donnie took several bites of his now room temperature food. He’d just finished his eggs when Raph spoke.

“Did you…….did you and Leo used to be together?”

Donnie looked up at Raph who was looking at him.

“Why do you ask?”

Raph shifted a little before speaking.

“Last night……you said you knew what it was like to be close to someone who won’t open up and talk about what’s bothering them. And when you were talking about Leo’s past, your voice changed a little. Was Leo the ‘someone’ who wouldn’t open up to you?”

Silently Donnie applauded Raph for making the connection. Slowly he nodded.

“Yes, Leo and I dated for several years. But in the end he couldn't move past what had happened to him, and that caused us to break up.”

Raph was silent for a moment.

“How did it cause you to break up?”

Donnie sighed and leaned back in his chair. In the back of his mind he was aware that Raph was doing a very good job of making him talk about things that he normally didn’t talk about.

“Because the only way Leo could escape from his past was to leave. He wanted desperately to get away from here, to travel the world. I didn’t. I wanted to stay; and in the end…….I wasn't willing to wait and see if his method of coping would work. So we broke up.”

Raph looked at him sadly.

“I’m…..sorry.”

Donnie sighed and shrugged.

“I won’t say its ok. It’s not. It really REALLY hurt. But…..thank you for saying it.”

the rest of the meal was eaten in silence. Donnie was well aware that every so often Raph's eyes would flick over him for a moment before returning to his plate. They finished their food in silence; broken only when Donnie asked if he could remove Raph's now empty plate from in front of him. As the purple turtle dropped the dishes in the sink he heard the alarm on Raph's phone begin to ring. Raph groaned.

“Time for practice. Wish me luck.”

Donnie smiled.

“Good luck. Be sure to score lots of goals.”

Raph looked at him.

“That’s soccer.”

Donnie shrugged.

“I don't watch sports, so I don't really care.”

Raph raised an eyebrow.

“One of these days I’ll sit down and explain it all to you.”

Donnie bit his lip but nodded.

“O….ok.”

he watched as Raph stood up.

“I….I should get going.”

Donnie nodded and followed Raph into the family room and towards the front door. He watched as Raph pulled on his shoes before turning to look at him.

“Well…….thank you for talking to me. And…….letting me spend the night.”

Donnie nodded.

“Of course. Raph……..if you ever need to talk just call me.”

Raph nodded.

“Ok…….hey what time do you get off work today?”

Donnie shrugged.

“I’m normally off at 6-ish. Why?”

Raph shrugged.

“I….I was just wondering if maybe you’d like to get something to eat a little bit later?”

Donnie raised an eyebrow, a faint smile playing across his fac.

“are you asking me out on a date?”

Raph's face went red as he shook his head and hands.

“No no no! I……..”

but he broke off as Donnie laughed.

“I know what you meant Raph.”

Raph sighed,

“I just wanna pay you back for breakfast and letting me stay here last night.”

Donnie nodded.

“Ok. I’ll give you a call when I’m off work and we can set something up. Ok?”

Raph nodded.

“Ok. See you then.”

Pulling open the front door Raph did his best to not look at Donnie; the red blush still covering his face as he hurried to his jeep, started the engine and began to pull out of the drive way. As he turned onto the road he caught sight of Donnie; framed in the doorway with a small smile on his face, he waved at Raph who waved back sheepishly, his stomach clenching oddly as he did so; before gunning the engine and heading back to the school.

 

 

MIKEY’S POV

 

 

Mikey watched as Leo packed their suitcases in the back of his car. Closing the trunk Leo paused, looking at Mikey who smiled back at him. After a moment Leo spoke.

“Last chance to change your mind. We could go to the beach instead.”

Mikey shook his head. “No. we’re going to go see your father." 

Leo sighed and nodded slowly. “ok.”

Getting into the car Mikey spoke.

“Do you really not want to see him, this badly?”

Leo sighed and looked at him.

“The last time I saw my father he threw a beer bottle at my head and told me to never come back and that I wasn't his son anymore. So yes………I really don't want to see him.”

Mikey was silent; he could see the internal conflict Leo was struggling through.

“But…………”

he watched as Leo took several deep breaths.

“There are things I want to say to him……..and this might be my last chance. So………..let’s go before I change my mind.”

A moment later the car rumbled to life as he turned the key and pulled out of the driveway and down the road.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

 

 

Leo raised an eyebrow as he watched as again Mikey scribbled something down on a small pad of paper he’d brought with him. They’d been driving for almost an hour now; they’d left the college town behind them and were now driving through a small section of the forest that encircled the town.

“What’s that?”

as he spoke Leo gestured to the pad of paper. Mikey shrugged and turned it so Leo could see what he’d been writing; a list of names of what appeared to be, “song titles?”

Mikey nodded.

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking, if the Nathan and Ethan played more current music then maybe they would get more listeners.”

Leo nodded.

“it’s possible, but I thought they don't have the equipment to play CDs or any of the modern music.”

Mikey nodded.

“They don't. But I figured I could try and make a few mixed tapes for them.”

Leo smiled.

“That’s very kind of you.”

Mikey looked at him sadly.

“You should them Leo. They’re trying as hard as they can to keep the station going; but nothing is working. Every time I have to throw out a tape because it’s beyond saving they get a little sadder and sadder. I……I want to help them. I just……..they need help. But they’re too shy or afraid to ask for it.”

Leo nodded sadly.

“that certainly sounds like them, Nathan especially.”

Mikey looked at him.

“How would you know?”

Leo looked at him sideways.

“didn’t I tell you?”

Mikey shook his head.

“Tell me what?”

Leo frowned.

“I thought I told you. I meant to, Nathan took my class about……2 years ago. That’s when I first met them.”

Mikey’s eyes widened slightly.

“Really?”

Leo nodded and smile.

“Yeah. I’ll admit it was a little shocking at first. Walking into my classroom and seeing a two headed turtle.”

Mikey smiled.

“I can imagine.”

He watched as Leo turned his attention back to the road.

“But through the year Nathan surprised me. I thought for sure he’d fall behind, maybe have to drop out because he wouldn’t be able to keep up. I was dead wrong, not only did he manage to keep up with the rest of the class; but he turned out to be my best student that year.”

Mikey smiled.

“Really?”

Leo nodded.

“Yes. He particularly loved the section on poetry. I remember….” Leo broke off as he chuckled. “I asked everyone in the class to write me a poem that was about themselves, and then the next day we would turn it into a series of haikus. The next day Nathan was nervous when he handed me his poem. Turns out he’d gotten really into it had…..written about 7 pages worth of poetry.” Mikey smiled, he could just imagine Nathan nervously handing the pages to Leo while Ethan gave Leo his normally fixed stare; daring Leo to say anything negative. Mikey watched as Leo smiled to himself. “It was good. Nathan wrote out his poems with such love and hope. I……I ended up submitting them to the national poetry journal, and several of them got published.” Mikey frowned slightly.

“I wonder why neither of them ever mentioned that they knew you? I’ve talked about you a few times, to them.”

Leo looked at him and he shook his head.

“Not about you and me, just you. That I was in your class, or that I had an assignment I needed to do.”

Leo sighed and shook his head.

“I don't know. I know they have a very busy schedule. Because they’re conjoined they can only take a few classes at a time. Despite having been at the college for almost 3 years they just became juniors last year. It’s possible they just forgot about me. They certainly have more important things to worry about.”

Mikey bit his lip.

“Well then that just makes me want to help them even more.”

Leo smiled and nodded.

“I’m sure they could use it.”

Mikey smiled. After several more moments of silence he spoke again.

“So……how long have you been teacher at the college?”

Leo shrugged.

“About……12 years now. I had gone to school here, so when I went looking for a job this seemed like the best place to start.”

Mikey smiled as he imagined a younger Leo walking in to teach his first class.

“I bet all the gay boys wanted you.”

Leo was silent for a moment before speaking.

“There have been……a few. They’d get flustered when I’d call on them. Or they’d always stay late after class. A couple of them tried to seduce me, wearing tight shorts and shirts. But…….” Leo bit his lip as the memories of those boys came back to him. Of their hurt faces when he told them he wasn't interested. “But I always turned them away. I was their teacher and they were my students.”

He turned, watching as Mikey looked at him for a moment before speaking.

“What…..what about me?”

Leo sighed and rubbed his forehead, before changing lanes on the road.

“You…….somehow you succeeded. Somehow you found a way to get in my head and make it so I couldn't think of anything else but you.”

Mikey smiled and moved, reaching over to grip one of Leo’s hands for a moment.

“Well I’m glad I did.”

Leo smiled at him.

“Me too.”

Mikey yawned slightly as they again changed lanes. The forest around them was thinning now; giving way to farm land and wide open fields. Scribbling down the name of another song Mikey spoke.

“So tell me about where you grew up.”

Leo shrugged.

“Not much to tell. It’s a little Podunk town in the middle of nowhere called Parma. It’s a pretty small town; when I left it had less than 3,000 people, I would imagine the population is a little bigger now; but not by much. It’s mostly farmers and factory workers who live there.”

Mikey nodded.

“How long will it take to get there?”

Leo shrugged.

“About 7 hours. We’ll have to stop to have lunch, and get gas, but other than that…..” but Leo broke off as Mikey yawned, trying to muffle the soft “ah” that came out as he did so. “Tired?”

Mikey nodded. In truth he hadn’t slept well last night. Leo’s bad mood had made the older turtle huddle away from Mikey under the covers, leaving the small turtle to bundle himself under the blankets and try to fall asleep.

“You should close your eyes for a little while. I’ll wake you up in a little while. Ok?”

Mikey smiled at Leo before setting his seat back a little bit so he could rest a bit more comfortably. Feeling Leo change lanes Mikey allowed his mind to go blank as his body relaxed.

 

 

LEO’S POV

 

 

Turning the radio down Leo glanced sideways, watching as Mikey shifted in his sleep. He sighed turning his eyes back to the road. He knew he’d alarmed Mikey last night. He knew his sudden change in attitude would hurt Mikey; and yet……….he hadn’t stopped. He’d needed to withdraw, needed to become cold and distant with his young lover. Because if he showed how he was feeling, of he showed the raw emotions that clawed at his insides and coursed through his veins; he’d have scared Mikey away. Numbly cold fury and pain has rushed through his body. Drowning his mind in memories of his childhood. Of the beatings his father had given him when he’d tried to tell him what was going on. Memories of the arguments they’d had over seemingly pointless things.

On those nights he’d run out of the house and sleep in the woods so he could just to get away from the cold, accusing, angry stare of his father. The stare that made him shrunk back in fear, the stare that made him fear that his father would lash out and strike him, the stare that told Leo; his father held nothing but hatred and contempt for him. Forcing himself to take a deep breath Leo turning the car, taking the ramp off the freeway before turning onto a smaller 2 lane road. Again he glanced at Mikey. The young turtle truly had changed him. Before Mikey had come into his life; Leo had no doubt that he would have deleted the hospital message without a second thought. As it was he’d wanted to. But something in Mikey’s gaze had stopped him. It struck Leo that without Mikey to be there with him there he never would have considered returning to his home town.

Sighing again Leo shifted a little in his seat. Around him the scenery had changed again; shifting from the green lush farm fields to yellow fields filled with wild uncared for grasses. Glancing down at the clock Leo felt his eyes widen as he found he’d been driving for almost 4 hours; which meant that Mikey had been asleep for almost 3 hours. Making up his mind Leo decided to allow Mikey to sleep for a little bit longer at least until they reached the small town that, according to the sign he just passed; was 20 miles away. Taking another breath Leo could not help but smile as next to him Mikey groaned and mumbled something in his sleep. The young turtle had changed him; had made him truly happy.

Maybe visiting home wouldn’t be so bad with Mikey around. Maybe things would be different, maybe he’d meet his father and he’d discover that his dad had changed. Maybe his father would be happy to see him. Biting his lip Leo shook his head; doing his best to turn his mind from such hopes. While they were nice to imagine; all they did was get his hopes up, which meant that they would fall further and harder if they turned out to be untrue. Sighing Leo’s eyes drifted around the scenery they were driving through; not much had changed. The last time he’d driven down this particular stretch or road the fields had been filled with short stocky yellow grasses with the occasional tree or bush; and while all these things were still around some of the fields had been cleared, now filled with farms or animals that grazed as he drove by. A short while later Leo slowed down, pulling into the small gas station that sat on the side of the road. Turning off the engine Leo reached over and gently shook Mikey, who groaned and opened and eye to look at him.

“Are we there?”

Leo shook his head.

“No, we’ve still got about 4 hours or so. But we have to stop and get some gas.”

He got out of the car, moving around to the pump before beginning to pump gas into his car. On the other side Mikey got out and walked around.

“Hey….” turning Leo shifted slightly as Mikey hugged him. “I’m……I’m proud you’re doing this.” Leo hugged Mikey back.

“Thank you.”

They stayed like this for a few moments, before pulling apart; with Leo remaining with the pump while Mikey began to walk around and stretch his legs. Looking around Mikey inhaled a lungful of fresh air.

“It smells……..cleaner out here.”

Leo smiled.

“It is cleaner out here. There aren’t all the cars and buildings out here. That took me a while to get used to when I first moved. Trying to breathe the city air was like trying to breathe air full of dust.”

Mikey looked at him. He’d never really been out in the country; he’d always lived in a city. He was used to feeling of city air; even now as he stood and inhaled the clean air of the country he found himself feeling a little light headed. The air around him felt so……empty. There was no smell of car exhaust, or chemical smells just the faint smells of the grasses from the fields. Leaning back against the car Mikey inhaled another lungful of clean air.

“It feels……nice.”

Behind him Leo turned off the pump and paid for the gas.

“Ready to go?”

Mikey turned back to Leo and nodded.

“yeah.”

Getting back in the car Mikey spoke as Leo pulled away and began to drive again.

“So……tell me more, about when you first came to the college.”

Leo smiled and looked sideways at him.

“What do you want to know?”

Mikey shrugged.

“What did you think of it?”

Leo smiled. “I was…….excited, nervous; kinda felt like I could throw up at any second. It was………..odd, knowing that I was free…….that……..”

Leo broke off as he bit his lip for a moment trying to find the right words to voice the feelings that had rushed through his body as he’d walked through the campus and gone to his classes.

“I felt……relieved. Like……..like I was able to breathe fully for the first time in ages.”

Again Leo bit his lip; it still wasn't enough, still was accurate to the feelings that had flooded his body as he’d begun to live a normal life; a life without the fear that he would be molested or abused at any moment.

“I………..I felt happy, to be there.”

He looked sideways at Mikey who watched him for a moment before speaking.

“I…..i know how that feels.”

Leo smiled at Mikey who smiled weakly back.

“Tell me more. What was your roommate like?”

Leo smiled.

“You’ve met my college roommate already. That’s how I met Donnie.”

Mike’s eyes widened.

“Really? Donnie was your roommate?”

Leo nodded and smiled a little wider as he remembered the first time he’d seen Donnie. He’d just walked into his new room to find Donnie nervously searching through his books to make sure he’d packed everything. At first he’d thought Donnie was going to be a colossal pain; but then……..

“What was Donnie like in school?”

Leo grinned.

“Donnie hasn’t changed much. But he used to LOVE to go to parties and clubs. He never drank much, something about alcoholism running in his family. But loved to watch the people and dance to the music. He used to say something about the combination of lights, people, music and sounds was both seizure inducing and therapeutic.”

Mikey raised an eyeridge as he tried to picture his therapist dancing in a club surrounded by flashing lights, and half drunken patrons.

“I can't picture that.”

Leo shrugged.

“It’s true. Donnie used to drag me with him sometimes. He’s like a totally different person when he’s dancing. He’s……….he’s confident in himself. It’s……..it’s hard to describe. It’s like the way he carries himself is different. He becomes……..sexy.”

Leo felt his face heat up slightly as again Mikey raised an eyeridge at him.

“Sexy?”

Leo nodded.

“Yeah…….he just……..he becomes confident in himself. Like he knows that he’s the smartest person on the dance floor; which he probably is, and that everyone else is an open book to him. Like he knows EXACTLY what to say to make you think or do whatever he wants.”

Leo smiled to himself as he remembered how Donnie had been back then. Even Leo had found himself a little stunned by the normally nerdy turtle’s transformation upon entering a club or party.

“Is that……why you two became a couple?”

Leo looked sideways at Mikey who has busied himself with scribbling down another song name.

“Partially yes……..Donnie……….it’s hard to explain how we wound up together.”

He could feel Mikey watching him. Taking another breath he continued.

“I’d been scared for so long. Before I left for college I had almost no friends, never had a boyfriend, wasn't speaking to my father; I’d pretty much missed most of my teenage years. When I met Donnie I was drawn to him. He was smart, funny, kind…….and………and he didn’t pressure me into being something I’m not. He just wanted to have a good time and make sure I did too. I guess…….i guess it was only a matter of time before we ended up sleeping together.”

Leo broke off; perhaps this was not appropriate to be talking about. He bit his lip as Mikey continued to look at him.

“Keep going.”

Leo sighed, adjusting his speed as he found he’d been going a bit slower than the speed limit.

“It……it felt good to wake up next to someone in the morning. It felt nice to be able to call Donnie my boyfriend.”

Leo sighed as those memories washed over him. He and Donnie had worked well together; for a time they’d both been happy.

“But……….but then things got…….serious. Donnie started asking me about my past…….and I………I panicked. I wasn't ready to talk about that, so I’d try to change the subject which made him become suspicious of me. Several times we got into shouting matches. He thought I was sleeping with someone else because whenever he’d ask me a question I’d get evasive and wouldn’t give him a straight answer. In the end…….”

Leo gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as he remembered the night he and Donnie had broken up.

 

He’d been drunk, Donnie had once again asked him about his past; and like always he’d tried to evade the question. Donnie had said something snide and…….and he’d snapped. He’s grabbed Donnie and shouted at him; yelling at him to never ask about his past ever again. Donnie had shoved him away, yelling back that if they were boyfriends he had a right to know. Leo had countered by yelling that maybe they shouldn’t be boyfriends anymore then. Leo gripped the wheel a little tighter, his heart clenching as he remembered the look of pain that had covered Donnie’s face after that. When Donnie had spoken next his voice had been filled with pain and sadness.

“I’m…..I’m just trying to help you Leo. I know you were abused…….I’m just……let me help you.”

But he’d been too drunk to see that. He’s said other things, things that had hurt Donnie; and in the end Donnie had said that it was in the best interests for both of them if they saw other people. Leo took a deep breath before speaking.

 

“In the end, I wasn't able to move on from my past and it wasn't fair to make Donnie wait for me until I did. I was still running from the memories and pain of my abuse. And it drove me to try and get as far away from my home as I could.”

Mikey was silent for several moments before speaking.

“Do you………do you ever still think about Donnie……..as more than just a friend I mean?”

Leo sighed deeply. Next to him Mikey shifted a little, fixing him with a slight glare.

“Don’t lie to me Leo.”

Again Leo sighed.

“I……….i won’t lie. I know Donnie and I can't be anything other than friends now. Yes there have been times in the past when……when I’ve looked at him and wondered if we could ever have a chance at what we had before. But……..no I don't look at Donnie like that anymore. He's my friend, my best friend nothing more. Ok?”

He looked at Mikey who touched his shoulder gently.

“Ok. I believe you.”

Leo smiled at him.

“Thank you.”

Silence fell between them as Mikey shifted, looking around at the scenery that had once again changed around them. The wild yellow fields had been thinning out for the last couple miles. Now instead of yellow grass, hard brown dirt met Mikey’s gaze. Around them rocky brown and tan cliffs slowly sprung out of the ground like walls of broken glass. Leo smiled as Mikey looked around.

“We’re about 300 miles from the school right now. The nearest mall is about 70 miles that way.”

As he spoke Leo jerked his thumb to the left.

“How much further do we have to go?”

Leo shrugged.

“Probably another 50 miles or so. The road we’re on right now will bring us out just above the town. You’ll be able to look down at it as he drive down the other side in a little while.”

Sure enough about 15 minutes later the ground leveled out for a few moments before beginning to slope downwards. Looking out the window Mikey felt his eyes widen at the sight in front of him. In front of him was a sea of brown and tan dirt that seemed to stretch on for miles and miles, occasionally punctuated by a small patch of green indicating a field of some kind. Directly in front of them however was a large green gash that looked as though it had been gouged into the earth. A river ran through the canyon, along the river Mikey could see trees, sticking up like soldiers standing in formation; and amongst the trees he could see building, houses, a town. Next to him Leo spoke.

“Welcome to Parma, Michelangelo.”

 

 

30 MINUTES LATER

 

 

Mikey’s eyes flicked from one side of the street to the other. On either side of him mom and pop business lined the road, which had narrowed to just two lanes. As they’d gotten closer to the city they’d past a sign that had read PARMA; STAY FOR A SPELL. Now that they were in the town Mikey could see why the sign said that. The town had a kind of feel to it. As they’d driven down the street he'd seen people walk up to each other on the street and begin talking to each other. He’d seen children playing in playgrounds while their parents watched from the restaurant next door. The town simply felt small, as though everyone knew everyone else. As the car turned off the main road Leo spoke.

“Mikey?”

Mikey looked at Leo, noting that Leo become a little stiff.

“I want you to do me a favor. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone says or does, I want you to know; I love you.”

Mikey nodded, reaching out to touch Leo’s shoulder.

“I know Leo.”

He reached over, lacing his fingers into Leo’s hand before giving it a gentle squeeze. Leo smiled at him as they pulled over, off the road and into the parking lot of the hotel they were staying at. They continued to hold each other’s hand for a moment longer, as Leo shut off the car before breaking apart as they left the car and walked into the lobby of the hotel. Walking up the counter Leo was greeted by a female ferret who smiled at them and spoke. “Welcome to the Parma city hotel.” Leo smiled at her.

“We’d like a room please.”

The ferret smiled and began typing on her computer.

“With one bed or two?”

Leo shifted a little.

“One.”

The ferret glanced up at him, and then to Mikey for a moment before smiling.

“Ok. We’ll have you in room…..14. I just need you to sign a few things.”

Taking the pen she was holding out to him Leo began signing the various forms and contracts she handed him. As he handed her back the stack of papers she spoke.

“Leo……..wait……”

she was squinting at him now, looking him up and down before leting out a small giggle.

“Leo it’s me Alice. We had English class together.”

Leo’s face went hard. He ignored Alice who began talking with him; asking him how he’d been or what he was doing back in town. Unseen by her his grip on the counter had become so tight his knuckles had turned white. But Alice seemed to ignore his change in demeanor; instead continuing to blather on for several minutes before Leo had, had enough.

“EXCUSE ME.”

he spoke firmly, talking several levels louder than Alice who broke off mid sentence.

“It’s getting very late and we’ve been stuck in our car for the last several hours. Can we please have our room key?”

Alice blinked as Leo several times before nervously handing the room keys to Leo who promptly turned away from her and to Mikey.

“Come on. I need to lay down.”

He didn’t wait for Mikey to respond, instead walking out of the lobby, down the hallway before coming to a stop in front of the elevator impatiently tapping his foot as he hammered the call button. He felt Mikey move in behind him.

“Leo?”

Leo sighed and closed his eyes.

“I……I needed to get away from her. She just…….”

He broke off as Mikey’s hand pushed its way into his. He began to shake as Mikey gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“It’s ok Leo. We’re here to make thing better. Let’s go lay down for a little while. Then we can get our bags, get something to eat and then go to bed.”

Leo nodded, all of that sounded great. Getting into the elevator Leo pulled Mikey against his body as the elevator began to climb. He gave Mikey a gentle squeeze; hugging their bodies together.

“Thank you Mikey……thank you so much for being here. I……I…….I don’t know how I’d do this if…..if you weren’t here. I’d……..I’m……..”

he forced himself to breathe, his heart was hammering in chest, his arms were shaking and he could not stop small tears from forming in his eyes as he pulled Mikey closer against his chest.

“I love you Mikey.”

He clung to the smaller turtle; silently pleading that Mikey would understand just how much he loved the smaller turtle. Mikey hugged him back, rubbing his arms and the back of his neck while he spoke.

“Shhhhh, shhhhh. It’s ok Leo.”

They stayed like this, the entire elevator ride made in silence as they clung to each other. As the elevator came to a stop Leo sighed, pulling apart from Mikey who continued to hold his hand; as they moved down the hallway towards their room. Opening the room with their key Leo dropped himself onto the bed and began to take deep breaths; as Mikey curled up against his chest, and resumed rubbing his arms and neck. After a moment he leaned in, kissing Leo’s forehead.

“I’m proud of you Leo. I’m so proud of you for doing this.”

Leo smiled weakly.

“I didn’t have a choice remember?”

Mikey chuckled but continued to rub Leo’s arms and neck.

“Still……..I’m proud of you.”

He watched as Leo sighed and opened his eyes to look up at him.

“I hope……I hope you stay that way. I hope……..”

he broke off, as he took another deep breath.

“I hope you’re still proud of me when I’m so mad I can't say a word to my father. I hope……I hope you’re still proud of me if I break own and start sobbing like a child; or start screaming at him. I just………”

he broke off as his sides began to shake. He tried to fight the feels that were rushing through him, tried to fight off the feelings of pain, fear, humiliation and desperation that rushed through his body; making him feel as though he was stuck in whirlwind. He felt Mikey shift, huddling in closer to him, holding him; keeping him grounded in the real world and not in the whirling, spinning world of his emotions.

“Leo…….no matter what happens I’m proud of you. I know…..this isn’t easy for you. But……but it needs to be done. You need to see your father before……..before something happens. I know……I know it’s scary. But…….”

He shifted; leaning in to nuzzle Leo’s neck while he rubbed Leo’s neck and shell. He wanted to speak; to say that Leo needed to speak to his father, to clear the air and allow him to move past some of the pain he’d been holding on to. Yet as he lay there, holding Leo’s form he couldn’t think of what to say. All he could do was hold Leo and comfort him; while Leo struggled with the emotions that tore and raged inside him. They stayed like this for a while, holding the other; doing their best to comfort the other as best they could. Outside the sun began to set casting low red light across the town.


	7. Chapter 7

 

Raph groaned as the cool water rushed down his throat before pooling in his stomach sending cool chills through his body. Behind him coach blew the whistle signaling the end of practice. Taking another drink Raph stood up from his spot on the ground before moving to the locker-rooms where he pulled his gear off. Around him the players grumbled about how hard coach was pushing them. they’d been practicing for hours, stopping only when the sun was high over head backing the practice field in what felt like 1,000 degree heat. Raph rolled his eyes; he wasn't sure why everyone was bitching. Yes he was tired, but his muscles didn’t ache or burn like the others did. In fact he actually found himself restless, to the point once his gear was off he left the locker-room moving down the hallway before pushing open the door the weight room. He’d been about to step inside when coach’s voice met his ears.

“Raphael, a word.”

Raph turned watching as coach walked up to him.

“Your mood seems to have improved somewhat. Care to share what had you so angry?”

Raph shook his head.

“Not really. It’s a personal matter. I’m still mad but……….the will to win is stronger than my anger.”

Coach smiled as nodded.

“good. Cause I HATE losing.”

A moment later coach left, walking down the hallway before entering his office and closing the door. Turning back to the weight room Raph closed the door behind him as he flicked on the lights, illuminating the various weights and training machines. He knew he didn’t have to worry about other players bothering him in here. They had been grumbling and complaining the entire practice about how they’d rather be asleep, so he had no doubt that they were all going to rush back to their beds and fall back asleep. Picking a machine Raph lay himself along the bench-press after making sure his standard 95LBS weights were in place. Gripping the stainless steel bar Raph lifted the bar off its lip and began to pump it up and down a few times before frowning and putting the bar back on its ledge.

Sitting up Raph turned to examine the weights. Something was off, they felt……to light. Normally at 95LBS his muscles didn’t strain but still managed to get a good workout. Yet when he'd lifted the bar he’d found that it felt oddly light; as though the weights were about 20 LBS lighter. Frowning to himself found that the weights were in need correct, rolling his eyes Raph knelt down next to the press, before adding a bit more weight to the bar before testing it; this felt better, at 140LBS the weights felt better. Laying back down on the press Raph went to work, lifting and pumping the bar until his sweat trickled down his arms and shoulders. He liked working out, it was relaxing to him. It allowed him to focus his mind and work through his emotions.

That night…..when he’d walked out of the restaurant he’d come here. He’s worked every machine and weight until he was exhausted. Sighing to himself Raph paused. He understood why Mikey hadn’t told him about being gay sooner. Setting the bar back on it’s ledge Raph lay on the press, the wheels in his head turning. As much as it pained him to say; he understood why Mikey had done it, why Mikey had hidden the fact he was gay from Raph. For years Raph had acted like most jocks did he talked loud, chased girls, and bragged loudly about all the girls he’d slept with. It was no wonder Mikey had never said anything. The fear that raph would disapprove must have been almost numbing to Mikey. Raph bit his lip as he tried to imagine the internal struggle that his little brother would have gone through. He sighed, slowly sitting up before running his hands over his head.

He felt bad, really bad; about as bad as he’d ever felt before. How much pain had he put Mikey through? His shoulder slumped slightly; he’d make it up to Mikey somehow. Somehow he’d take back all the pain and hurt he’d caused his little brother. Raph growled balling his hands into fists; he set to work, pulling, twisting, pushing, working every muscle in his body until his skin was drenched in sweat and shook with fatigue. He liked this feeling, it was comforting to him; it made him feel more in control. Yet he found that as with the bench press every weight in the room felt off, as though someone had swapped out the dense steel weights for something lighter. Each time he went to lift a weight he found it to simply be so light and he’d have to add more to it so it felt better. Pausing for a moment Raph wiped his forehead; behind him someone spoke.

“feeling the burn?”

Raph smiled and turned finding that harmony had entered the room and was smiling at him. Raph shrugged.

“yeah. Feels good.”

It was true; he felt better now that his muscles ached slightly. Harmony grinned at him and strowed forward before gripping his hand and pulling him from the machine he was at.

“come on big boy; we’ve got a few more muscles to work out.”

Raph grinned as harmony pulled him towards the showers.

 

 

LATER

 

 

Raph panted as he buried his nose against harmony’s neck. All around him cold water trickled down his skin making him press against the warm body he was pinning to the wall. In front of him harmony panted, her eyes closed while her mouth hung open slightly as she tried to recover from her 6th orgasm in a half hour. Her hands dug at his skin, holding him against her.

“you……..like……a machine.”

Raph smiled, running his tongue against the side of her neck making her groan.

“slow and steady wins the race.”

Harmony chuckled.

“cept you don't go slow.”

Raph shrugged.

“would you rather I go slow?”

as he spoke he shifted, slowly pulling his hips back, withdrawing his organ from her body before pushing forward and back into her. In response she shuddered her grip on his shoulders becoming tighter and tighter. Her head tilted back exposing her neck, which Raph gently bit and nibbled. 

“how…..can…..you still…….”

Her words were disjointed, broke apart by moans and gasps as Raph moved, slowly pumping in and out of her; making the echoes of pleasure that still raced through his body a little louder. She bit her lip. She was getting distracted. She was supposed to be finding out what was causing his bad attitude not…..but her thoughts became fuzzy as Raph's hands moved to her breasts, squeezing and massaging them as he continued to pump in and out of her at that agonizingly slow pace. She clung to him a bit tighter as she let out a low moan. She tried to focus, to regain control of the situation; she gripped the back of his head, forcing their lips together in a ragged kiss. Yet she broke the kiss all too soon, as he head against snapped back against the wall. She could feel her body tightening; as another orgasm rippled through his body. It wasn't as intense as the last couple ones, but it was still enough to make her toes curl. He shook and shuddered as the pleasure lapped at her body making her skin feel hot while cold water clung to her skin. As the orgasm ended she shifted. Her hands coming to rest against Raph's chest and plastron.

“raph….”

Slowly he stopped, coming in to nuzzle her neck. He knew she was at her limit; every breath made her body shake and quiver, while her eyes struggled to remain open.

“ok.”

Slowly he withdrew from her, his own body shuddering as cold water ran down his sensitive organ. He shifted, allowing her to lean against his chest as he slowly led her over to a small bench and sat her down so she could regain her strength while he shut off the water and grabbed towels for them. he set to work, slowly toweling her skin off, allowing her to take over once she was able to move her arms. Drying his own skin he spoke.

“how did you know I’d be in the weight room?”

harmony shrugged.

“when you didn’t leave with the other jocks I figured you were still inside. so I just went looking for you.”

Raph smiled, hanging the towel around his neck before speaking.

“did you need me for something particular or were you just looking to screw?”

harmony smirked at him a little.

“a bit of both. I was wondering if maybe later this week you’d like to…celibrate your recent win by….having dinner with me?”

Raph looked at her.

“as in…..a date?”

harmony shook her head..

“no. just dinner.”

Raph looked at her for a moment before responding.

“Ok.”

harmony smiled at him.

 

“hey you should bring your brother along. Hell, have him bring his boyfriend.”

Internally karai smirked a little. She’d already figured out that Raph's younger brother was the source of his bad mood. Now she just had to hone in on exactly what was the cause. She watched as Raph thought for several moments before responding.

“if we do a ‘double date’ it’ll have to wait. My brother and his boyfriend are out of town for a while. Something about a death in the boyfriend’s family. Maybe when they get back?”

she nodded.

“ok. But…….in the mean time could WE go out?”

Raph smiled at her.

“we can try. I’ll call you later tonight and let you know when would be a good time.”

Harmony smiled at him.

“ok.”

He watched as she left the shower and began pulling her clothes on.

“Aren’t…….aren’t you going to stay?”

he wasn't sure why he’d stuttered, or why his heart felt funny as she turned to smile at him.

“I can't. I’ve got to go meet some friends in a few minutes. I just wanted to come and see you for a bit.”

Raph frowned a bit, unsure why her words made him feel slightly sad.

“oh…….ok. have fun.”

She smiled and nodded.

“I will. You too big boy.”

A moment later she was gone, offering him a small wave as the door closed behind her, leaving Raph alone in the shower. Sighing to himself Raph did his best to ignore the odd hollow feeling in his chest as he began to pull on his clothes; but he paused as he caught sight of himself in the mirror, frowning as his eyes roved over his biceps…….had they gotten…….bigger? Moving closer to the mirror Raph examined his body finding that several muscles were bigger than he expected them to be. Shaking his head he began to get dressed again. Perhaps eating healthier was helping him, yes that must be it. Pulling his shirt over his head Raph grabbed his phone and had been about to shove it in his pocket when it began to vibrate and ring. Flicking it open h smiled as he found it was Donnie.

“Hey Donnie.”

“Hi Raph. So it looks like I’ll be done with work at about……….7-ish. Did you still wanna maybe………hang out tonight?”

Raph grinned.

“For sure. I know a great restaurant. Is it ok if I swing by at around 8 and pick you up?”

Donnie chuckled.

“it’s a date.”

Raph raised an eyebrow as a second later Donnie began to stutter.

“no, I mean….it’s not………..we’re not…….”

Raph laughed, breaking Donnie’s chain of thought.

“Relax egghead. I know what you meant. Have a good day, I’ll see you tonight. Bye.”

“bye.”

Hanging up the phone Raph rolled his eyes as he put his phone in his pocket. In the back of his mind he could not help but find it……..cute when Donnie stuttered and became nervous. It was fun to watch him try to explain himself. Pulling open the door to the locker-room Raph moved down the hallway and out into the parking lot. He had to admit he was honestly looking forward to seeing Donnie again. Something about the purple flecked turtle put him at ease. It made him feel like he could talk about anything and Donnie wouldn’t judge him or think less of him. turning his jeep on Raph left the parking lot and made his way back to Casey’s apartment before dropping himself onto his bed. It felt good to lay here on the mattress and relax. He still had 3 hours until Donnie would be off work; and another hour after that before he had to go and meet him. What could he do with that free time? Groaning he turned, reaching for the vitamins and water he kept by his bed. Popping the pill in his mouth Raph swallowed it with a mouthful of water before closing his eyes.

 

 

LATER

 

 

Slowly he began to stir, his eyes opening to find the source of what had woke him up. Blinking several times he found his phone was going off next to him. reaching for the device Raph opening it and spoke, rubbing his forehead as he did so.

“hello?” 

a moment later Donnie’s voice responded.

“hey Raph. Um………this is kind of embarrassing but……could you come pick me up at my office? My car won’t seem to start.”

Rubbing his eyes Raph nodded, more to himself than anyone else.

“yeah……sure………..just give me a minute to get dressed.”

On the other end of the line Donnie paused for several seconds longer then he’d meant to before responding.

“o……ok. I’ll just…….be right here.”

Hanging up the phone Donnie bit his lip as he tried and failed to prevent the image of a naked and asleep Raph from appearing in his mind. Shaking his head Donnie sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. this needed to stop, he needed to stop having these little………fantasies about Raph. Not only were they inappropriate but they had no chance of becoming reality. Rubbing his forehead Donnie sighed. He supposed they natural; Raphael was cute, strong and certainly attractive. It was only natural that Donnie felt desire towards him. it was only natural that he wanted to kiss…….and touch…….and…… shaking his head he did his best to rid himself of those thoughts.

“no…..no. get a hold of yourself Donnie. You’re not in college anymore.”

He needed something to distract himself with. Rifling through the drawers in his desk Donnie found the perfect thing, an old text book he kept around to look up obscure illnesses im. Busying himself with the book Donnie did his best to focus on the illnesses in the book and not his thoughts about Raph. It worked pretty well, managing to keep his attention until there was a soft knock at his door.

“Donnie? Are you ready to go?”

closing the book Donnie responded.

“y…yes. Just a moment.”

Putting the book back Donnie’s moved across the office and pulled open the door to find……against his will he groaned as Raph's scent washed over him; that odd musky pungent smell that made his bite his lip as he inhaled lungfuls of it.

“h…hey Raph.”

Raph smiled at him.

“hello Donnie.”

Following Raph down the hallway Donnie smiled at April who smiled back at him from behind the receptionist desk.

“goodnight April.”

“goodnight Donatello.”

Leaving the office Donnie climbed into Raph's jeep and buckled his seatbelt while Raph turned on the engine.

“so what’s wrong with your car?”

Donnie sighed and shrugged.

“who knows. I’ll see if I can have a tow truck bring it to a repair station, tomorrow.”

Across from Raph smiled weakly at him.

“I’m sorry. Car troubles suck.”

Donnie nodded.

“yeah they do.”

They rest of the drive passed pleasantly enough, Raph mostly talked about practice while Donnie listened, commenting when appropriate. As they pulled into Donnie’s drive way he spoke.

“just give me a few minutes to shower and get dressed and then we can go for dinner. Ok?”

Raph shrugged and followed Donnie into the house, dropping himself onto the couch while Donnie moved up the stairs and into his bedroom. Closing the door behind him Donnie stripped off his clothes as he headed for the bathroom before turning on the hot water and stepping inside the shower. He groaned as the warm water rushed past his skin washing away the stresses of the day. But he didn’t have time to enjoy the hot water, Raph was waiting for him downstairs. He busied himself with the soap, rubbing it into his skin until it lathered before washing it away with the water. He started with his head, then neck, shoulders, chest…… but his calm vanished as a sound made him look up from rubbing the soap into his stomach. He strained his ears trying to find the source of the sound; it had sounded like……a door opening.

Unconsciously he shifted, his heart rate jumping slightly as it occurred to Donnie that Raph might be the source of the noise. Donnie shook his head and tried to go back to rubbing the soap into his skin. It was probably just rah, using the bathroom………or………but Donnie’s mind broke off as a faint creaking sound met his ears. Again he shifted, his stomach doing a slight flip as the thought occurred to him that Raph…….might be spying on him. Nervously he peeking out from behind the shower curtain; the door to the bathroom was still closed; exactly the way he’d left it. he shook his head and tried to get back to washing. It had been an absurd thought, Raph wouldn’t spy on him; not only was Raph not gay but even if……..he’d shown no interest in Donnie. Donnie bit his lip and stopped rubbing the soap into his arms. Gently he leaned against the shower wall, resting his forehead against cool plastic tiles.

He tried to force the thoughts of Raph out of his head. Tried to banish them from his mind all together. Yet try as he might……he groaned as he imagine Raph there, with him…… he felt his heartbeat speed up a little as the image of Raph pressed against him, his body pinning Donnie’s to the wall while his hands…….. Donnie groaned. He knew the thoughts were wrong, that he shouldn’t be having them. yet he couldn’t stop them now. He imagines Raph's breath on the back of his neck, it made him pant despite that fact that Raph wasn't really there. He groaned as Raph's hand moved, slowly circling his hips before……he gasped, biting his lip as his organ slipped free from his body. God just how pent up was he?

He shuddered as he felt his own fingers wrap around his organ…..he’d come this far, might as well…..finish. his whimpered and groaned as he began to move his hand, slowly pumping his organ while his mind went wild. Raph was there in the shower with him; pinning his body against the wall while his hand worked. Donnie bit his lip, it felt so good. Against his will his churred and moaned as pleasure lashed at his body. How long had it been since he’d done this? 2 months, 4 months….longer? he bit his lip gasping as his hips began to move on their own humping into his hand, while he imagined it was Raph's. oh god it felt so good, he imagine Raph was kissing his skin, his lips sending jolts of pleasure through his body despite not actually being there. His head tilted sideways, allowing imaginary Raph access to his neck, shuddering as Raph's breath flitted across his skin.

All at once his body tightened, the air from his lungs escaped in a loud moan while his head tilted back. He clamped his eyes shut, desperately wishing Raph was there with him at that moment. He stayed like this for a moment long, allowing the warm water to run down his skin for several moments before shutting the water off and getting out of the shower. He busied himself with getting dressed, pulling on pants and then a nicer purple shirt with a dragon design on it. taking a deep breath Donnie did his best to forget what he’d just done as he scurried down the stairs and int the living room to find Raph flipping through the channels on the TV.

“Ready?”

Raph nodded and turned off the TV before leading Donnie outside and to his jeep. Starting the engine Raph smiled pleasantly at Donnie who avoided his gaze slightly, making Raph frown.

“hey….you ok?”

Donnie shrugged.

“It’s been a long day.”

Raph nodded and smiled again.

“Well let’s see if I can help you forget the troubles of the day.”

Donnie smiled at Raph.

“ok.”

They chatted more as Raph drove, Donnie asking how Raph was and Raph responding with the truth. He was ok, a little tired from training. A short while later Raph pulled into a parking space, in front of a small bar called Mony and Ronny’s. Getting out of the jeep Donnie glanced at Raph who smiled at him before pulling open the door and allowing Donnie to step inside. the inside was loud, music blared from a jukebox while the patrons of the bar laughed and chatted, in the background Donnie could make out the sounds of someone playing pool. As Raph stepped in behind him a girl; a skinny bunny wearing a tight green shirt that showed off her rather, ample breasts greeted them.

“HELLO! WELCOME TO MONY AND RONNY’S. JUST 2 FOR YOU?”

Donnie allowed Raph to talk before following him and the bunny through the crowd before sitting down at a table.

“we’ll just have 2 waters for now. But I’ll be getting something with the food.”

The bunny nodded and vanished into the crowd leaving Donnie and Raph alone to look through the menu. Scanning the menu Donnie smiled as he found that several of the items piqued his interest before finally setting on a grilled burger with onion rings. Setting his menu down Donnie looked around taking in the walls which were covered in people signatures and doodles, while across from them a large TV showed a random soccer game. He did his best to keep his eyes off of Raph but somehow found his eyes drawn to the larger turtle; drawn to his muscles, his skin……..his eyes. He shook his head. This NEEDED to stop. When the waitress came back they placed their orders before watching the bunny take their menus and vanish into the crowd for a moment before returning to hand Raph his beer.

“So…….”

Donnie blinked as Raph spoke.

“Treat any interesting people today?”

Donnie shrugged.

“not really. Today was more about catching up on paper work and reports.”

Raph nodded, taking another sip of his beer.

“so…….can I ask you something?”

Donnie nodded and watched as Raph shifted a little bit in his seat.

“what…..made you get into psychology?”

Donnie smiled as he leaned back in his chair.

“well……..i’ve always been smart. And my father always encouraged me to do something that was a challenge to me. math was easy, science was boring, but people…….people are hard.”

Raph blinked at him before shaking his head.

“I don't understand.”

Donnie smiled and scanned the crowd before gesturing to a couple sitting in a booth behind them.

“What can you tell me about them, just by looking at them?”

Raph shifted, turning to glance at the couple before shrugging.

“Well…….she’s obviously bored; she probably wanted to go to a nice restaurant. Oh she’s wearing his sports jersey. Probably trying to make the best out of this crappy date. As for him……he’s texting his friends.”

Turning back to Donnie Raph raised an eyebrow as he found Donnie was shaking his head.

“close but at the same time totally wrong. Look at the boyfriend, the one who keeps glancing downwards every few seconds. He’s checking his cellphone. Probably waiting for an important call. The girlfriend is the sports fan, notice how her eyes haven’t left the TV since you looked at her? Also the jersey belongs to her, but it’s several sizes to big because she recently lost a lot of weight. You can tell because of the way she bracelet she’s wearing; it’s a bracelet given to people who have undergone gastric bypass surgery in the last 6 months.”

Raph felt his eyes widen at Donnie’s words.

“you got all that just from looking at them?”

Donnie nodded, smiling to Raph who continued to look stunned.

“Raph I went to college for 8 years to learn how to read people; because unlike a lot of other things people are hard to understand.”

Raph continued to look at Donnie for several seconds before speaking.

“what……when you look at me……what do you see?”

Donnie was silent for a moment as he took a sip from his water glass before speaking.

“are you sure you want to know?”

Raph nodded, while taking a deep drink from his beer. Looking Raph up and down for a moment Donnie spoke.

“I see a turtle who acts big and strong but in reality is scared and confused. The way you sit. It’s an attempt to remove yourself from the conversation; the way you lean back. It tells me you would rather observe my answers then listen to them.”

Raph rolled his eyes.

“That sounds like complete bullcrap.”

Donnie raised an eyebrow before moving, leaning forward and grabbing Raph's wrist.

“You hide your fears behind your cocky attitude but at your core……you’re scared.”

Raph felt his mouth go dry as Donnie looked him directly in the eyes.

“you have trouble with your emotions not just handling them but processing them. that’s why you get angry so easily. Because you’re scared and you lash out, trying to push away everything that scares you.”

Raph moved, trying to tug his arm out of Donnie’s grasp only to find Donnie’s grip was surprisingly strong.

“Don’t pull away Raph. Don't let fear and anger rule you. Even if you can't handle your feelings, there are people who can help. Don't……..you don't always have to run away from your fears.”

Raph felt his heart clench slightly as Donnie let go of his wrist. They sat in silence for several minutes while Raph processed what Donnie had said. Across from him Donnie watched him, his eyes roving over Raph's body taking in the constant fidgeting, the confused look on his face, the subtle clenching and unclenching of his hands. After several more minutes Donnie spoke.

“this is why I don't sate much.”

Raph looked up at him. Donnie sighed his shoulders slumping forward slightly.

“it’s hard to date someone when you can tell they’re lying to you, or when they’re hiding something from you. It gets so hard to look them in the face when you know that just by telling them the truth you’ve hurt them. look……..”

Donnie shifted, moving to get out of the booth they were sitting in.

“I’ve…..I’ve upset you. I’m sorry. I’ll just…….I’ll go. Ok? I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

Shifting to get out of his seat Donnie did his best to fight back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. He paused just long enough to dig some money out of his wallet and put it on the table, enough to cover his half of the bill. He could hear Raph saying something; but whether he was trying to get Donnie to stay or saying goodbye Donnie didn’t particularly know or care. He pushed through the crowds wanting to desperately be as far away from the bar as he could get. Stepping out onto the street he took several deep breaths willing his heart to stop clenching. He made his way to the nearby bus stop and within 5 minutes was on his way back to his house. He was alone on the bus, the only other person besides him was the driver. Sitting at the very back Donnie pulled his knees against his chest and only then did he completely let go. He buried his face against his knees as large tears began to fall from his eyes. It wasn’t fair. Was did this always happen?! Why was he always drawn to men who he could never have? Why was he given such a mind if it would only push those he cared about away? why give him the hope to find love if he never would?

As the bus came to a stop he got off, drying his tears as he walked down the street before turning the corner and walking up his front lawn. Pushing the front door open Donnie didn’t even pause to take off his shoes, instead heading straight into the kitchen and the few bottles of booze he kept in the house. He didn’t even get a glass as he opened the first bottle, a large whipped Vodka; instead just pressing the cold glass to his lips and downing several mouthfuls of the disgustingly sweet drink. He coughed and gagged, scrambling to get himself a glass of water to was the taste of sugar and alcohol from his mouth. Swallowing the water Donnie sighed and sank down onto the kitchen floor.

What was the point? Why did he bother with any of this? What was the point of trying to make friends when all he ended up doing was hurting them? sighing again Donnie pulling his knees against his chest again. What had he done to deserve this? What had he done in a past life to deserve to be alone like this? He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn’t hear the front door open. “Donnie?” he flinched, jerking sideways his heart thundering into a momentary panic at the possibility of an intruder. But his heart slowed as he found that it was just Raph who was standing over him looking worried.

“Donnie?”

Donnie didn’t respond, instead sniffing loudly before trying to stand up.

“go away.”

he didn’t get very far. Somehow the few mouthfuls of vodka he’s drunk were already affecting him, making him clumsy and uncoordinated. He staggered sideways, bumping into Raph who gripped his shoulders to help support him.

“are drunk?”

Donnie groaned.

“I guess.”

Next to him Raph chuckled.

“wow, you’re a lightweight. Come on, let’s get you up to bed.”

Donnie couldn’t help but giggle slightly.

“big tough raphie wants to get me into bed.”

Raph rolled his eyes and slowly helped Donnie up stairs. Pushing the door open to Donnie’s bedroom Raph slowly carried Donnie over, trying to help the older turtle walk properly. Donnie grunted as he tried to make his legs move correctly, but only succeeded in twisting his legs up in Raph; the effect was they both fell, landing on Donnie’s bed while the room around him spun violently for a moment. Closing his eyes Donnie did his best to relax, taking several deep breaths before opening his eyes again. as he did so he felt his breath hitch in his chest. Raph was there, on top of him, having falling in such a way that the larger turtle now straddled his hips. But it was Raph's face that made Donnie freeze, those beautiful green orbs that were fixed on his face, making his heart flutter and clench. His hands moved without thinking, gripped handfuls of Raph's shirt, trying to keep the larger turtle on top of him as a gentle whimper escaped his throat. He wanted this, dear god he wanted this so bad it almost hurt.

Raph blinked down at Donnie, startled slightly by the pained whimper that the purple turtle had let out. Slowly his eyes roved Donnie’s face, looking to see if he was in pain at all. He swallowed nervously, his mouth going dry as his eyes took in the gentle flecks of purple around Donnie’s face, greens lips, gentle brown eyes silently pleading with him. Again he swallowed.

“Donnie…..how……..how drunk are you?”

Donnie groaned, shifting to lean up and gently nuzzle Raph's neck.

“Enough to know I want this……not drunk enough that you should feel bad.”

Raph groaned as Donnie’s breath raced along his neck. He bit his lip, part of him wanted this.

“Raph…..”

Donnie’s voice was a whimper. “

Raph shuddered as Donnie’s lips pressed against his neck, kissing the sensitive skin. He took several deep breaths before speaking.

“I’m……not………gay.”

Donnie looked up at him, his grip tightening on Raph's shirt. Again Raph repeated himself.

“I’m not gay.”

Slowly Donnie let go of Raph's shirt, closing his eyes as he found he was no longer able to stand the sight of Raph's face looking down at him.

“I’m sorry…….i-”

but Donnie’s words were cut off as Raph's lips pressed against his. The kiss was a little clumsy, partly because Donnie was a little drunk and partly because Raph wasn't entirely sure how to kiss another man. Donnie groaned, his hands gripping the edges of Raph's shell, pulling him down onto of him. they broke apart, Donnie’s eyes opening to scan Raph's face.

“Raph?”

Raph closed his eyes for a moment.

“I’m….not…..gay. but……….”

Slowly his eyes opened again, silently pleading with Donnie to understand the complex typhoon of emotions that was rushing through him making him feel dizzy, excited, nervous, pissed off, and scared all at the same time.

“I’m……..i’m………I’m not going to run away from this.”

Donnie bit his lip.

“are…….are you sure you want……me?”

Raph nodded.

“yes. Just…….just show me what to do.”


	8. Chapter 8

Raph shivered as he felt Donnie’s hand shift, slowly moving from his chest, tracing his arm before gently gripping his wrist. Raph but his lip, feeling as Donnie gently guided his hand to the back of Donnie’s head. Beneath him Donnie shifted, leaning in to nuzzle his neck again.

“Shhhhh… just relax Raph. I promise……I won’t push you. We won’t do anything you don't want to.”

Raph took a deep breath but nodded.

“O…ok.”

He groaned, shuddering slightly as Donnie shifted, their hips grinding gently together making Raph groaned again. A moment later Raph leaned down, capturing Donnie’s lips again. He had to admit……..kissing Donnie wasn’t as gross as he’d thought it would be. He’d expected Donnie’s lips to be rough, but they weren’t. He groaned and deepened the kiss a little his tongue moving instinctually out of his mouth to flick across Donnie’s surprisingly soft lips. He shifted, pushing himself down against Donnie’s chest, grinding their hips together enjoying how it felt. As they broke apart he could feel Donnie’s hands moving, slowly circling his waist, playing with the edge of his shirt. Gently he leaned in to Donnie’s ear.

“Go ahead.”

He felt Donnie move, gripping the edges of his shirt before pulling the shirt up and off of Raph exposing his sculpted chest and stomach. Donnie bit his lip as his hands slowly explored Raph's muscles; feeling them ripple slightly as he touched them. Donnie groaned, how could Raph have so many muscles? He bit his lip again, painfully conscious that he didn’t have nearly as many muscles as Raph did. Yes he ate healthy foods, and did light exercise everyday but…..that didn’t give him the rock hard, perfectly defined muscles that made up Raph's chest. He whimpered slightly as Raph moved to pull off his shirt. He still wanted this, still wanted Raph but……..he shuddered as Raph pulled off his shirt, throwing it into the darkness before looking down at him. He whimpered again as Raph looked at him, his eyes scanning Donnie’s chest and stomach. Donnie groaned as Raph captured his lips again; this time taking charge of the kiss as his tongue pushed into Donnie’ mouth, slowly exploring it while his hands drew small shapes in Donnie’s stomach.

Breaking the kiss Donnie panted, it felt so good. Raph's weight pushed down on him making him feel secure but at the same time…….dominated. It sent a message to him; Raph was the one in control. He whimpered as Raph became bolder, their kisses becoming for aggressive while at the same time Raph's hands shifted downwards pushing and tugging at Donnie’s belt before dropping the length of fabric to the floor. He panted as Raph leaned in, nuzzling his neck while his hands….. Donnie whimpered as Raph's hands slipped past his pant’s waistline moving under the fabric before slowly pulling them off until gravity tugged them the rest of the way down leaving Donnie in his boxers. Against his will Donnie shuddered as Raph's eyes looked him up and down before leaning in to claim his lips again. Donnie groaned, wrapping his arms around Raph's shoulders as their bodies ground together. Raph grinned to himself, reviling on how badly Donnie wanted to keep the contact between their bodies. His hands shifted, pulling his own pants off, freeing his legs from their confines so they were both in only their underwear. He pulled back, his breath seeming to hitch in his chest as his mind began to catch up with his body. He was in his underwear pressed against Donnie’s body while……. His breath began to becoming panicked. What was going on, this was so unlike him. Beneath him Donnie shifted reaching up to grip Raph’ hand.

“Shhhhh, its ok Raph. Just breathe. Ok?”

Raph nodded leaning in against Donnie while taking several deep breaths. He felt Donnie shift, tugging at his shoulders and arms; pulling him away from the edge of the bed and into the center, before rolling their bodies so Raph was no longer on top but now laying on his side looking at Donnie, who nuzzled his neck. “It’s ok Raph. Just relax breath. Focus on my voice ok.” Raph nodded, closing his eyes while he took several deep breaths.

“Are you ok Raph? Do you want to continue?”

Raph nodded, gripping Donnie’s hand a little tighter.

“Yeah I……I want to keep going. I…….just…….I’m…..”

Donnie nodded, continuing to nuzzle Raph's neck.

“Do you want me to take a lead for a little while?”

Raph bit his lip but nodded. He felt Donnie shift; his had slowly exploring Raph's chest and hips; making Raph groan gently.

“That feels……good Donnie.”

Donnie nodded, his tongue flicking out to lick Raph's neck.

“I know…..that’s why I’m doing it.”

he continued, gently massaging Raph's chest, stomach and hips, making Raph groaned and press in closer. Donnie took a chance, leaning in to kiss Raph's jaw line and neck making the larger turtle moan gently.

“So……..what now?”

Donnie shifted, “now……this.”

His hands ghosted lower, running against the bulge in Raph's boxers making Raph moan a little louder.

“A…A….Donnie…..” Donnie repeated the movement noting that as Raph again moaned, the bulge gave a small throb. Lightning bolted through Donnie’s body as Raph’s hands moved, going to the bulge in Donnie’s own boxers, gently squeezing and rubbing sending ragged shudders of pleasure through Donnie’s body. They stayed like this for a while, their movements sending jolts of pleasure rippling through their bodies, making them both moan and whimper. The sounds of Donnie’s moans, emboldened Raph; making him grip Donnie’s organ tighter while moving his hand faster. The effect was instant, Donnie’s head tilted back as a loud hiss escaped his mouth, while his body shuddered for a moment. Raph grinned as he felt Donnie’s bulge change, a sign that he was finally excited enough that his body had released his organ. He pressed forward gripping Donnie’s organ through his underwear slowly stroking the organ making Donnie quiver and moan. Before shoving the last article of clothing down Donnie’s legs before throwing it into the darkness and returning to Donnie’s organ.

“R…R….Raph!”

Donnie’s voice egged him on, making him even bolder. He shifted, gripping Donnie’s shoulder and spinning the purple turtle around so Donnie’s shell was against his chest, while he propped himself up on his elbow half laying on top of Donnie, who shuddered and moaned as Raph's hand began to move faster. Donnie whimpered his hands scrambling to grip fistfuls of his blankets while pleasure lashed and raged through his body. His back arched against Raph's chest his head tilting back offering Raph his neck; which the red turtle took, nuzzling Donnie’s neck while his hand worked. Something had changed; he wasn't nervous or afraid anymore he was……enthralled. Something about Donnie had enthralled him. He pressed down against Donnie’s body, pinning the slim turtle to the bed while his hand continued to pump Donnie’ organ making Donnie whimper and shudder.

He bit his lip as he inhaled a lungful of Donnie’s scent, the musky smell making him mouth go dry. He could feel Donnie’s hand moving, trying to find something to grab onto. Something made Raph move, shifting his free hand so he could grip Donnie’s free hand, making them both pause for a moment as Donnie’s eyes flicked up to meet his. He buried his nose against Donnie’s neck, inhaling another lungful of his scent; his tongue lulling out of his mouth to taste Donnie’s flesh, making the purple turtle whimper and squirm. He pumped harder loving the moan that escaped Donnie’s mouth. Everything was happening so fast. Under him he could feel Donnie’s hips jerking, pumping into his hand as the purple turtle came closer and close to the release he so desperately craved; all the while squeezing Raph's hand tighter and tighter until…..

“RAPH!”

he wasn't sure what had made him do it; I was certainly never something he’d done before. Yet as he’d lay there, pinning Donnie down while Donnie’s climax began Raph felt the unbearable urge. He pushed forward raking his tongue against Donnie’s sensitive neck before biting down on the soft flesh making Donnie cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure as his climax wracked his body. His hips bucked wildly, humping into Raph's hand, coating them with his seed while he moaned and gripped Raph's other hand as tightly as he could. Pleasure lashed and raged through his body, making his gasp and struggle to breathe. He was in ecstasy, it felt so good; everything about that moment was pushing him higher and higher. Everything from Raph's continued pumping, to the pain coming from his neck, everything made him feel better and better. He struggled to breath, each breath entering his lungs only to be expelled a moment later in a loud moan. It was diminishing now; the white hot pleasure that had consumed him was slowly diminishing, leaving him feeling warm. He panted, slowly leaning his head down so it could rest on the blankets for a moment. He closed his eyes inhaling lungfuls of air mixed with Raph's scent. He could feel Raph moving, shifting to nuzzle his neck, gently licking the spot that he’d bitten down on. Slowly Donnie shifted, rolling over to look at Raph who had an……..embarrassed kind of blush across his face.

“S…s….sorry I bit you.”

A moment later they were kissing, Donnie’s tongue practically pulling Raph's into his mouth. It was a desperate kiss; he shifted, pulling Raph back on top of him. Breaking the kiss only when their lungs burned for air. Raph shuddered his head snapping back slightly as Donnie’s hands moved, tugging off Raph's boxers with one hand while the other went to Raph's bulge, slowly coaxing Raph's organ out; making Raph's entire body shudder when he finally did spring free from his pouch. He shuddered the feelings of pleasure bubbling in his stomach as Donnie moved, pumping his organ up and down. But Raph growled; HE was the one in control, not Donnie. He reached down, grabbing Donnie’s wrists before forcing them together and pinning them above Donnie’s head. He growled down at Donnie who shifted, his posture becoming more submissive. Raph grabbed a handful of blankets, tying Donnie’s wrists together and behind the headboard. He grinned down at Donnie; moving so he now sit on Donnie’s chest with his now fully erect organ in front of Donnie’s face. For a split second he faltered; what if….what if…… but Donnie shifted, tilting his head out, his tongue running along Raph's shaft sending a wave of pleasure through his body.

“It’s…….it’s ok Raph.”

Leaning forward Raph planted his hands against the headboard, his fingers wrapping around the decorative iron bars while he looked down at Donnie.

“Just…….just tell if i……if it’s too much.”

A moment later he groaned, pushing his hips forward; feeling more pleasure ripple through his body as his throbbing flesh slid into Donnie’s waiting mouth. He groaned, his head tilting upwards as he bit his lip. It felt………amazing. Donnie’ mouth was the perfect combination of warmth, wetness and tightness; sending pleasure racing through his body on a level that he’d never experienced before. He moaned, his tongue coming to hang out of his mouth as he slowly began to move his hips back and forth, pumping in and out of Donnie’s mouth. It was perfect, he’d never felt anything this good in his entire life. Donnie’s tongue seemed to be everywhere at once, licking, rubbing and lapping against every inch of Raph's organ. He bit his lip; how could a MAN make him feel this good? He panted struggling to make his hips move faster and faster. It felt SO good his mind was going numb. He growled tightening his stomach trying to push the pleasure that was wracking his body, away.

“N…not yet…….not yet.”

small tears formed in his eyes. It felt soooooooo good, he almost couldn't stand it. He thrust in deeper and deeper, groaning as Donnie continued to suck and lick making Raph's breaths become shorter and more ragged. God how could he be so close to cumming already? He grunted and groaned, all traces of restraint lost as he slammed himself in and out of Donnie’s mouth, loving every second of the feral heat that had crept up in his mind and demanded that he use Donnie’s mouth for his own pleasure.

“Oh god….oh god…..oh god!”

his grip on the headboard tightened as he felt his climax start. He growled shoving his hips against Donnie’s face, burying himself as deep as he could get in Donnie’s perfectly warm wet mouth. He felt his organ throb once more, seeming to grow in size and sensitivity. For a split second he felt like he might die. Everything was so perfect. Every muscle in his body was drowning in pleasure; his skin was drenched in sweat and he could barely breathe from the feelings that rushed through his body like a wild fire. He’d never felt anything like this before, against his will his mouth opened as a loud echoing churr that seemed to shake the room; erupted from this throat. A second later it crashed into his; his climax making all the air in his lungs erupt from him a loud moan.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

he wasn't in control of his body anymore. His sides were shaking as he ground his hips against Donnie’s head, making sure his organ was buried as deep as it would go down Donnie’s throat. He could feel it, his seed coating and filling Donnie’s throat before everything tightened around him for a split second as Donnie swallowed.

"D…D….DONNIE!”

he buried his face against the headboard, clamping his eyes shut as he rode out wave after wave of mind numbing pleasure that drowned his body making him churr, moan and whimper every few seconds. Under him Donnie continued to work, licking and sucking on his flesh as it continued to throb and spasm sending more of Raph's seed down Donnie’s throat. For how long they stayed like this Raph didn’t know. He couldn't think, couldn't keep track of the waves of pleasure that battered his body and made him cry out like a virgin. All he could do was cling to the headboard and breath, forcing air in and out of his lungs; while his heart hammered in his chest so hard it almost hurt. Slowly the pleasure began to diminish. He found that he could take deeper breaths and that his sides didn’t shake so much. He forced himself to open his eyes, to look down at Donnie; their eyes connecting for a moment. He remained buried in Donnie’s mouth for just a moment longer before slowly withdrawing; shuddering as his organ left Donnie’s warm throat and mouth and came into contact with the air in the bedroom. Under him he felt Donnie draw in lungfuls of air.

Raph shifted, moving so he sitting on Donnie’s hips while he fumbled with the blankets he’d wrapped around Donnie’s wrists; slowly undoing them and letting them fall to the bed, freeing Donnie’s hand. Instantly Donnie’s hands grabbed him by the shoulders and crushed their lips together. The both groaned into the kiss their tongues rubbing and pushing against the others. When they broke apart Donnie spoke.

“You’re still hard.”

Raph blushed. It was true. Despite the truly amazing orgasm that had just wracked his body his organ was still rock hard and ready for more. He felt his face heat up as Donnie touched his chest, making his heart flutter slightly.

“Do you……wanna………”

Donnie’s voice trailed off as Raph's eyes widened slightly. He knew what Donnie was asking; the purple turtle’s words were perfectly clear. Donnie was asking if he, Raphael wanted to fuck him. He bit his lip; part of him really REALLY wanted to continue. But another part of him……..felt nervous. As if Donnie knew what he was thinking he moved. Gently touching Raph's chest again.

“Raph……talk to me. What……what are you thinking?”

Raph bit his lip.

“I…..I want to. I….. REALLY want to…..but……”

his eyes roved across Donnie’s face, his heart clenching slightly as his eyes landed on the bite mark he’d left on Donnie’s neck.

“I……I don't……..want to hurt you……..again.”

he felt Donnie move slowly coming in closer so their chests and plastrons rubbed against each other.

“You didn’t hurt me Raph.”

Raph blinked at him.

“But…..I bit you….and just now……..I…….I……”

he couldn't say it. He couldn't admit that he’d lost himself to the pleasure and hand pounded into Donnie’s mouth like a wild animal in heat. Gently Donnie wound his fingers into Raph's hand.

“Raph…….that stuff didn’t hurt.”

Raph blinked at him a little confused.

“But….you cried out……and…..and…..”

a faint blush spread over Donnie’s face.

“Raph……..i like it when things get……..rough. I like……..being controlled and used like this.”

Raph stared at him.

“But……but……but you’re gay.”

Donnie raised an eyebrow.

“So I can't like rough sex?”

Raph bit his lip.

“I…..just……I……”

but he broke off as again Donnie squeezed his hand.

“I like rough sex, Raph. I liked being pinned down and feeling someone’s breath on my neck. I love the feeling. I LOVE IT.”

Raph continued to blink at him confused.

“But……why?” 

Donnie sighed, and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Do you know…..what it’s like…?” Donnie opened his eyes again, “….to have sex with someone who is scared that at any moment they’ll flip out and start hurting you?”

slowly Raph shook his head.

“No.”

Donnie sighed.

“It’s horrible there……there’s love……but at the same time there’s no passion. You know they love you. But…..but they don't make you cry out, they don't make you tremble and beg for more. They just…….” Donnie broke off as he bit his lip. “They make you feel like they’d rather just be sleeping next to you, rather then touching you.” Taking another deep breath Donnie spoke. “I like things to be rough……because for a long time I never felt the passion in my relationships. I never felt like they really wanted to touch me in a sexual way.”

Raph bit his lip but nodded,

“so….when people are rough with you….it makes you feel like they want you?”

Donnie nodded slowly.

“There’s more to it. I’m naturally a submissive turtle. Whenever I try to be dominant I feel……strange. So I guess my liking things rough is more…..me accepting my role. Ok?”

Raph nodded, that did make sense to him. Donnie smiled and continued to speak.

“But….if you’re worried about hurting me…..there is something we could do first.”

Raph cocked his head, “what is it?”

he watched as Donnie shifted, rolling onto his back while he hand began digging around in a draw for a moment before pulling out, a small bottle. Handing the bottle to Raph, Donnie watched as Raph turtle the bottle around in his hands and stared at it. After a moment Raph looked up at him,

“l...lube?”

Donnie nodded.

“I may like things rough but…….i don't like pain…….and…….it’s been a while since I’ve done this….so……..so I need to be prepped a little first.”

Raph swallowed nervously. Part of him wanted to run away at what Donnie was saying; while another part of him….. Again he swallowed nervously as Donnie took the bottle of lube from him.

“You….you don't have to help if you don't want to Raph……but……but if you want to go….further……then it needs to be done.”

Again Raph swallowed nervously. Was he really ready to do this? Was he willing to…..to do this to Donnie? Next to him Donnie smiled reassuringly at him.

“why….why don't I show you how it’s done, and…..and then we’ll see what happens?”

nervously Raph nodded and watched as Donnie opened the bottle and poured a small dollop of the lubricant out onto his hand, before spreading along his fingers for a moment. Raph bit his lip, watching half transfixed and half horrified and Donnie spread his legs apart while his hand slowly worked up and down his flesh for a moment before…… Raph inhaled sharply as Donnie’s hand began to move lower and lower until……. Donnie hissed weakly as his finger brushed against his entrance. He bit his lip, painfully aware of how closely Raph was watching him. He felt his face burn with embarrassment at the idea of Raph watching him as he did such things to himself. He bit his lip, forcing himself to go on, to spread a small bit of lube against his entrance before……. Despite his embarrassment he could not hold back the moan that escaped his mouth as he felt his finger penetrate his body. He tried to think of other things as his hands moved. Tried to imagine that Raph wasn't watching him and he spread the lube on his insides. He clamped his eyes shut; trying to hold back the moans and whimpers that threatened to spill out of his mouth. He felt the bed shift,

“A…Donnie?”

Donnie shook his head, doing his best not to look at Raph.

“Don’t…..don’t……talk…….it’s…… embarrassing.”

He felt Raph shift again, pulling away from him slightly; making the bush on Donnie’s face lessen slightly. Against his will Donnie whimpered as he felt Raph grip his wrist and slowly pull it away from his body, making his fingers vanish from his body. A second later he whimpered again as he felt fingers that were not his brush against his entrance.

“R…R…R….Raph?”

he felt Raph move, lying on the bed next to him.

“Let me know…..if I…hurt you.”

Donnie didn’t speak; only nodding as he felt Raph's fingers begin to press against him until…… his head snapped back as he struggled to keep the moan that bubbled up in his throat from slipping out. A battle he failed when he felt Raph lean in and nuzzle his neck.

“Don't hold back Donnie…..let me hear every sound.”

It was like flipping a switch. Donnie’s head snapped back as whimpers and churrs escaped is mouth as he felt Raph's fingers move and wiggle, gently spreading the cool lubricant around inside Donnie’s body. Raph shifted, moving in closer to Donnie as the purple turtle gasped and whimpered. Raph could feel his heart pounding. It was….odd. He’d never in a million years thought he’d be doing this; spreading lube inside another man’s body so they could fuck. And yet…..he pressed his fingers in deeper, making Donnie gasp and shudder. He could see Donnie biting his lip; the purple turtle’s eyes clamped shut as Raph wiggled his fingers inside him. He pushed in a little deeper, feeling Donnie’s muscles ripple as another moan escaped his mouth. There was something arousing about this. About being able to make Donnie moan and whimper like this. It made his heart pump a little harder, as he pressed in more; wanting nothing more than to hear Donnie moan and to feel him shudder.

“R…R….Raph…..I……..I……” something in Raph chance, some resistance that had been there moments before, vanished when he heard Donnie’s voice. He leaned in, gently licking Donnie's neck, making Donnie gasp and whimper before Raph spoke.

“Beg for it.”

Donnie’s eyes opened, but he flinched back finding Raph had leaned in and was now looking him directly in the eyes. Donnie whimpered, biting his lip as he felt Raph's fingers push a little deeper inside him.

“Beg. For. It.”

Raph pressed in, licking Donnie’s neck while his fingers wriggled inside Donnie’s body making the purple turtle whimper.

“Please…….please………Raph……..I need it.”

Raph grinned leaning in to nuzzle Donnie’s neck for a moment. The feral heat that had corrupted his mind minutes ago was slowly taking hold of him again. It clung to his skin making him sweat and pant as he rolled Donnie over so he was on his stomach. He bit his lip, being gentle with Donnie’s tail as he lifted the appendage out of the way. He knew from experience no matter how horny a turtle was; if his tail became injured or was in pain then all arousal vanished. He gripped his organ, shuddering slightly as he smeared the last bit of lube left of his fingers along his eager shaft. He moved forward pressing himself against Donnie’s body pausing just long enough to speak. “R…ready?” Donnie’s response was to push back against him, making Raph moan as the tip of his organ penetrated Donnie’s body making the purple turtle hiss. Raph's eyes rolled back slightly as he gripped Donnie’s hip tightly and pulled them back, sheathing himself deeper and deeper inside Donnie’s warm, twitching body.

He bit his lip, resisting the urge to bury himself inside Donnie’s body as he continued to push himself deeper and deeper until his hips were pressed against Donnie’s butt. He panted, doing his best to hold back the roaring need to pound into Donnie’s body. Under him Donnie was panting and groaning, trying to get used to the feeling of having Raph buried inside him. For several moments they stayed like this, Donnie panting and trying to get used the feeling while Raph struggled with the urge to start pounding into Donnie with the feral heat that was seeping into his brain and trying to take over. Finally after what felt like an eternity, Donnie moved, gently pushing back against Raph a signal that it was ok for Raph to start moving. Taking the signal Raph slowly withdrew from Donnie until only the tip was left inside before slowly pushing himself back in, making his lung erupt in a moan as Donnie’s muscles tightened around him in response.

They quickly found a rhythm, Raph withdrawing from Donnie before pushing himself back in and moaning at the amazing feelings of pleasure that rushed through his body. He gripped Donnie’s hips harder, thrusting in and out with more force making Donnie shudder and whimper with more urgency. Raph knew they were both still sensitive from the orgasms that had wracked their bodies a short while ago, but that didn’t stop him from moving faster and faster as the feral heat began to overwhelm him. Everything Donnie did egged him on and made him want more. Every sound Donnie made, be it a moan, gasp or grunt, it all seemed to reach into his brain and make him hunger for more. He was aware of his own sounds the growls, and churrs that slipped past his mouth as he sped up thrusting in and out of Donnie’s body. All the while Donnie’s inner muscles clenched and unclenched sending even stronger waves of pleasure through Raph's body. It felt incredible.

Donnie was tighter and warmer than anything girl he’d ever fucked before. It was almost mind numbing how amazing it felt to be buried up to his hilt inside Donnie’s quivering twitching body. He grunted gripping Donnie’s hips harder, as he drew closer and closer to his limit. The heat was inside his body now, making him pound in and out of Donnie like a wild animal. He panted, gripping Donnie’s hips so tightly that he had no doubt they would bruise. Under him Donnie moaned and groaned, showing no signs of discomfort or pain from the rough treatment he was getting; something that egged Raph on even further.

He let himself go; pounding in and out of Donnie with a kind of desperation he rarely felt.

“So good.”

Underneath him he felt Donnie shudder, a ripple running through his entire body as he buried his face against the pillows and blankets; a ragged and echoing moan escaping his mouth. Instantly his inner muscles tightened; making Raph grunt and shudder for a moment before his own orgasm slammed into him; again he buried himself as deep in Donnie’s body as he could get. His head snapped back and a mixture of a feral growl and a chur left his mouth as he emptied himself into Donnie’s body. His heart hammered in his chest, while his arms shook slightly from how tightly he was holding onto Donnie’s hips. Every muscle in his body was tight and hot, each of them screaming out as wave after wave of numbing pleasure rushed through him. This orgasm didn’t last as long as the first one and soon enough Raph felt fatigue grip his body and pull at him. He groaned, leaning forward to bury his face against Donnie’s shell for a moment as he slowly withdrew from Donnie’s body. A moment later they both collapsed into a sweating, shuddering heap on the bed. For several minutes they lay like this, tangled in each other’s limbs trying to catch their breath.

Raph's head swam.

‘did I really just……….fuck Donnie…….and like it?’

He blinked, slowly looking over at Donnie whose eyes were closed as he gasped for breath, his face still resting against the blankets and pillows of the bed. After several moments Donnie spoke without opening his eyes.

“That……was……….amazing.”

Raph groaned slowly moving so his arms and legs were no longer tangled up in Donnie’s.

“Y…yeah.”

He smiled sheepishly at Donnie, unsure of how he was supposed to act right now. He watched as Donnie shifted, turning on his side so he could look at Raph. After several moments of silence Raph spoke.

“So…….now what?”

Donnie shrugged.

“Whatever you want. We could go again, we could rest……you could freak out and run away. It’s all up to you.”

Raph bit his lip, struggling with the complex wave of emotions that washed through him. On one hand he was freaking out. He’d fucked a guy; but not just any guy, his brother’s therapist. On the other hand though……he’d loved it. He bit his lip trying to make up his mind. He flinched as he felt Donnie touch his hand.

“Hey……if you want……while you make up your mind……you could sleep here tonight.”

He looked at Donnie who wore a gentle and concerned look on his face.

“it’s really late……and……….just until you make up your mind about what you want to do?”

he slowly nodded, watching as Donnie got up off the bed before motioning for Raph to do the same. He watched as Donnie pulled the first blanket, the covered in their sum and sweat, off the bed before tossing it into the corner.

“Ok.”

Slowly Donnie moved, climbing in under the remaining blankets; watching as Raph slowly did the same.

As Raph covered himself in the blankets he moved to Donnie, intending to wrap his arms around the purple turtle’s shoulders only to stop as Donnie spoke.

“D...Don’t.”

he blinked at Donnie confused.

“Don’t…..don’t what?”

he watched as Donnie took a small breath.

“Don’t……don't hold me while we sleep.”

Raph felt his heart clench. Did Donnie regret what they had just done?

“W…why not?”

he watched as Donnie took another breath his sides shaking slightly.

“Because….. if you do then I won’t be able to let you go. I……I won’t be able to come back from that.”

Raph bit his lip but nodded, moving back over to his side of the bed while Donnie curled up into a small ball under the blankets.

“G…goodnight Donnie.”

A moment later Donnie responded.

“Goodnight Raphael.”

A moment later the light flicked out bathing the room in darkness. Raph shifted trying to get comfortable. He laid on his left side, his back, his stomach, his right side, nothing felt comfortable to him; they were all too……empty. He bit his lip; he wanted to hold something to feel something against his chest. Yet he had to respect Donnie’s wishes. Groaning to him Raph tried again to get comfortable only to open his eyes as Donnie spoke.

“H…here.”

He felt Donnie give him something; a pillow. Clutching the pillow against his chest Raph spoke.

“Th….thanks.”

Donnie didn’t respond, only letting out a muffled sound before going silent. Clutching the pillow against his chest Raph closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep. In the back of his mind however he could not help but wish that it was Donnie who was against his chest and not this pillow.


	9. Chapter 9

Breakfast was an odd affair. All around them patrons of the diner eat and chatting; seemingly without a care in the world. In front of him Mikey watched as Leo stirred his oatmeal absentmindedly. He’d been doing that for several minutes now, pushing the slushy grains around without actually eating any of them. Mikey himself had practically inhaled the waffle, eggs, and hashbrowns that he had ordered. Now he sat watching as Leo continued to stir his food, a look of reserved fear flickering across his face.

“Leo…..”

Mikey kept his voice soft so as not to startle Leo; but also so as not to let anyone else here him. Leo looked up at him, his eyes that of someone who was scared and confused.

“I’m……..I’m not hungry.”

Leo pushed the bowl away from him before sighing and draining the cup of coffee he’d gotten with his food. Mikey sighed; wishing he could reach across the table and hug Leo without drawing the attention of everyone in the diner. As it was all he was able to do was to move his foot so it rested against Leo’s; who smiled weakly at him.

“Come on…….let’s get this over with.”

Paying the bill Mikey and Leo left the diner, before getting into their car and driving away. Driving down the road Mikey could not help but watch as Leo drove. Leo’s jaw was set, a kind of sternness had settled over his body making him ridged and tense. Mikey could practically feel the nervous energy running off of Leo in waves. He wanted to say something, something to cheer Leo up. Yet try and se might he could not think of anything to say that would make Leo smile or be happy. They drove for several minutes in silence, which ended as they turned into the hospital parking lot. As they pulled into a parking space Leo shifted; reaching over to touch Mikey’s hand gently.

“Mikey…….I…….I need to say something to you.” Mikey bit his lip, watching as Leo took several deep breaths before speaking. “I need you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt. No matter what……no matter what happens or is said in there……I love you.” As he spoke Leo squeezed Mikey’s hand. He watched as Leo took several more breaths. “I love you so much Mikey. But…….but my father……he has a way of….making me flip out. And I…….I don't want you to get scared if…..if I do. So………” Again Leo squeezed his hand. “I need you to do something for me.”

Mikey nodded.

“Anything Leo. Anything.”

Leo smiled weakly at him.

“If I tell you to leave, you have to go. Don't argue or ask me what’s wrong just……just come back here to the car and wait for me. Ok?”

Mikey nodded.

“Ok. But……but only if you understand something.”

Leo bit his lip but nodded as Mikey spoke.

“I’m your boyfriend. And I will always stand by your side. Ok?”

Leo’s response was to lean over and kiss him gently. When they broke apart Leo rested his forehead against Mikey’s, gently stroking his cheek with his thumb.

“I love you so much Mikey. But…….but I’m scared of what you’ll do when you see this…….this darkness that is in my family.”

Mikey reached up cupping the hand that was stroking his cheek.

“I’ll face it with you. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll stay with you until you tell me not to. Ok?”

they kissed again, breaking apart only when they moved to get out of the car and walk up the steps to the hospital.

The lobby was moderately busy. All around them family of patients sat in small chairs waiting to be called back or given information about their loved one’s condition. Dozens of doctors and nurses moved through the lobby, some of them sitting with families explaining what was happening, while others led families in an out of the lobby. Moving up the front desk Leo smiled weakly at the female deer who sat on the other side.

“My name is Leo Yoshi. I’m here to see my father.”

The deer smiled and nodded at him.

“Ok. Can I see your ID?”

Leo nodded and dug out his wallet before handing his driver’s license over to the deer who checked it against the hospital’s files before handing it back to him and smiling again.

“A nurse will be with you in a moment to take you to your father.”

Leo again smiled weakly at her.

“Thank you.”

Taking a seat in one of the chairs Leo took several deep breaths, smiling weakly as Mikey who shifted to hold his hand.

“Just be brave Leo.”

Leo chuckled.

“I’m trying Mikey. I’m try-”

but his words were cut off as a nurse; a small female human walked up to them and spoke.

“Mr. Leo if you’ll follow me I’ll take you to your father. Who…..is this?”

she sounded a little confused as he eyes fell on Mikey who shifted slightly uncomfortable with the suspicious look he was getting. Deciding on a small lie Leo spoke.

“This is my son, Alex. He’ll be following us. I want him to meet his grandfather before……..before it’s too late.”

Instantly the human’s expression changed from suspicious to compassion.

“Oh….ok. If you’ll both follow me I’ll take you to him.”

Following the nurse out of the lobby Leo and Mikey allowed themselves to be led through the maze of while hallways and corridors while all around them doctors, nurses, patients, and patient’s family members went about their own business. After several moments of moving through the spider web of corridors they came to a stop in front of a room with a small window that looked out into the hallway and a plain wooden door. The human turned to them and spoke

“good luck.”

Before either of them could respond she was gone, fading into the crowd of other nurses and doctors. Mikey shifted, taking Leo’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Are you…….are you ready for this?”

Leo bit his lip, closing his eyes for a moment and he readied himself.

“I guess we’ll find out.”

When he spoke there was a firm and slightly angry tone in his voice.

“I’m going to tell him exactly what I think of him and then we’re going to get as far away from this town as we can.”

He didn’t wait for Mikey’s response instead he moved forward gripping the door handle and pausing just long enough to take a deep breath before turning the knob and speaking as the door swung open.

“Hello dad it’s been a long…….”

But Leo’s words trailed away into nothing as his eyes took in the scene in front of him. In front of him lying in the hospital bed was his father; yet at the same time it was not the man he remembered being his father. When he’d left home his father had been almost 400 pounds of reptilian muscle all wrapped up in blue skin, which towered almost 2 feet taller than Leo. But the man who now lay in the bed was a frail and weak man. Despite the anger he felt towards his father Leo felt his breath hitch in his chest as his eyes roved over his father’s thin arms, waxy skin and emaciated body.

“D….dad?”

his voice shook as he spoke. There had to be a mistake, some kind of mix up. This man couldn't be his father. His father looked nothing like this person. His father was huge, taller and stronger too then Leo had ever been. And yet as he stood there in the doorway he somehow knew this was not a mistake, that the lizard lying in the bed in front of him was in fact his father. Behind him mike spoke softly.

“He’s…..not a turtle?”

Mikey’s voice shook Leo from his thoughts, making him turn to Mikey and shake his head.

“No…..he’s a blue lizard.”

Mikey looked at him a little confused.

“But…..why are you green…..and a turtle? Wouldn’t you be some kind of hybrid?”

Leo smiled weakly at Mikey.

“I’m going to guess you fell asleep in health class when they were explaining how reproduction works. Anthros like you and me; people who aren’t human, we don't get 50% of our DNA from both parents. We get 25% from our fathers and 75% from our mothers. Because of this children are almost always the same species as the mother. My mom was a turtle; your mom was probably a turtle.”

Mikey nodded, shifting his eyes back to Leo’s father. Slowly they moved into the room, the door closing behind them. Mikey bit his lip, watching as Leo slowly moved across the room to the side of the bed.

“Leo……?”

Leo didn’t seem to hear him as his eyes raked his father’s skinny and frail form.

“D…..dad?”

his voice shook against his will as he spoke. He’d expected to march into the room, to shout, yell and curse his father’s existence, but now……he bit his lip as his eyes roved over his father’s skin. Before the blue skin had been shiny and slick, almost like it was covered in oil. Now though his father’s skin was a dull blue color, the shine almost completely gone. Next to the bed a series of small machines beeped and quipped, showing that his father was still alive but very weak. While another machine helped his father to breath; each breath making his father’s body shake slightly. He bit his lip, unsure of what to say or do. He’d expected his father to yell at him, to demand to know why he was there or yell at him to get out. Somehow the silence was louder than any shout or yell his father could have made. He opened his mouth but closed it a moment later. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. He slowly looked up at Mikey who was watching him from the other side of the bed.

“He……..he……”

Leo felt his throat tighten as he tried to voice the mix of emotions that rushed through his body.

“He’s……..so……..small.”

he choked out the words, barely able to speak them. Across from him Mikey opened his mouth to speak only to be cut off as the door to the room opened. A moment later a cold female voice spoke.

“What are you doing here?”

Leo bit his lip, willing himself to remain calm as he turned and looked at the female lizard who had stepped into the room.

“Hello……….Minerva. It’s been a while.”

Minerva pursed her lips together before stepping into the room. Her voice was colder when she spoke, and also contained an air of sharpness to it.

“I asked you what you were doing here.”

Leo’s eyes narrowed slightly as he found Minerva’s tone to be a little to cold. He was making an effort to be polite, why couldn't Minerva do the same.

“The hospital called me, and told me I might not have much time left.”

Minerva raised an eyebrow.

“Still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

Closing his eyes for a moment Leo spoke.

“There are things I want to say to him.”

Minerva raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Is it to confess what a bastard son you’ve been? To beg his forgiveness for the hell you put him through. For embarrassing and humiliating him with your lifestyle?”

Leo bit his lip harder, his hands clenching into fists and he felt flares of anger ripple through him.

“That is between me and him. It’s none of your business.”

Minerva’s posture stiffened.

“None of my business? NONE OF MY BUSINESS? He’s my son. He worked so hard to raise you properly. To provide for you after your mother died. And all you did was hate and despise him.”

again Leo bit his lip. He knew Minerva was baiting him, but at the same time he couldn't stop himself from responding.

“Really? Is that what he did? Cause I seem to remember him drinking until he could barely stand.”

Minerva’s eyes flashed in anger.

“He drank because he was upset. And who could blame him? You made his life hell, always sneaking out in the middle of the night to drink and party. You were a bastard child, and all he ever did was try to bring you back to the proper path.”

This time Leo snarled. He felt anger ripple through his body making his voice louder then he’d meant it to be.

“I WASN'T SNEAKING OUT TO PARTY AND DRINK. I WAS BEING MOLESTED BY MY TEACHER!”

across the room Minerva rolled her eyes.

“Stop lying Leo. We both know you just said that so people would pay attention to you. You made the whole thing up.”

Leo could taste blood in his mouth as he felt his sides begin to shake in anger.

“I DID NOT MAKE IT UP! I WAS BEING MOLESTED AND YOUR SON, MY FATHER BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHEN I TRIED TO GET HIS HELP TO MAKE IT STOP!”

Minerva again rolled her eyes.

“Sometimes a person needs a good beating to help them tell the truth. I seem to recall you stopped lying to everyone after that.”

Leo took several deep breaths willing himself not to scream at Minerva who took that moment to notice Mikey.

“Who’s this?”

taking a few more breaths Leo felt himself calm down enough to speak in his usual voice again.

“My boyfriend. The only reason I’m here is because of him.”

Minerva’s eyes narrowed.

“Take your filthy hands off my son’s bed.”

Mikey blinked but took a step backwards, allowing his hands; which had been resting on the side of the bed, to fall to his sides.

“S…sorry.”

Minerva stiffed again.

“Sorry? You think sorry makes up for touching my son’s bed with your filthy hands?!”

Minerva strode forward shoving Mikey out of her way as she began to straighten the section of blanket he’d been touching. Leo growled at Minerva who looked up at him.

“DON'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT.”

Minerva rolled her eyes.

“Oh shut up. He should know better than to touch things with his disgusting hands.”

Taking several breaths again Leo spoke.

“Mikey. Come over here.”

Mikey did as he was told, moving around the bed and away from Minerva who glared at him as he moved. Taking another breath Leo spoke.

“Minerva…..look at me.”

when she didn’t, Leo growled and raised his voice.

“LOOK AT ME.”

he watched as she rolled her eyes but lifted her head to look at him.

“What?”

remaining silent for a moment Leo did his best to push down the anger that was rippling through his.

“You will not speak to my boyfriend like that. You will NOT speak to the person I love, like that. Understand?”

across from him Minerva rolled her eyes.

“Then you shouldn’t have brought him here. I’ll speak to him however I feel her should be spoken to.”

Leo felt more anger dump into his system making his skin itch and burn as his fists became tighter and tighter.

“No you won’t. Speak to me however you want. But do not speak to him like he’s a piece of garbage.”

Minerva glared at him for a full minute before responding.

“I do not think he’s a piece of trash.”

Leo took a deep breath.

“Tha-”

“no, I think he and his kind are blights on this world that should be wiped out.”

Anger flooded through Leo’s body making him growl and gnash his teeth together.

“Fuck you.”

Minerva’s eyes narrowed in anger.

“It’s the truth.”

Leo snarled and gripped Mikey’s hand.

“We’re leaving. I’ll come back tomorrow. YOU-” he pointed at Minerva. “WON’T BE HERE.”

With that he began pulling Mikey towards the door, half dragging the smaller turtle. His hand had barely touched the doorknob when Minerva spoke behind him.

“Running away again Leo? You really are your mother’s son. She was a coward too”

Instantly he froze, a cold rage settling in his stomach. Time seemed to slow down. He was painfully aware of how hard his heart was beating, making his blood pump through his veins, carrying with it rage and fury. In his hand the doorknob felt hot to touch. In his other hand Mikey’s skin felt warm but not hot. He felt Mikey gently squeeze his hand, silently pleading with Leo to not take the bait, to be strong and simply walk out of the room. But he wasn't strong, not in the way Mikey pleaded with him to be. Slowly he turned to face Minerva his sides shaking with rage that he hadn’t felt since the day he’d left home.

“DON'T……DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER. SHE WAS A BETTER PERSON THEN YOU’LL EVER BE.”

His voice shook with barely controlled rage. He skin felt like it was on fire, and he could feel adrenaline pumping into his system filling him with jittery energy. His eyes narrowed as he watched Minerva straighten up and smirk at him.

“Obvious she wasn't or god wouldn’t have struck her down like the blasphemous whore she was.”

It took Leo a full 10 seconds to process what Minerva had said. In that time Minerva continued to speak.

“She got one look at my perfect son and she did everything she could to get her claws into hi-”

but the rest of her words were cut off as Leo let out a roar of rage. His vision flashed red as he snapped, his hand let go of Mikey’s hand, as it balled into a fist while his other hand grabbed at the nearest object he could find; a lamp sitting on a small table next to the door. He didn’t know what he was doing and he didn’t care. He grabbed the lamp yanking ripping the chord out of the wall before throwing it at Minerva’s face. Minerva let out a shriek and ducked, the lamp sailing over her head before crashing against the wall making a loud shattering sound as the light bulb exploded. A second later Leo was screaming at the top of his lungs.

“SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY MOTHER AND I’LL SMEAR THE WALLS WITH YOU BITCH!”

a moment later Minerva was screaming back at him.

“ASSAULT! ASSAULT!”

Mikey yelped in fear as the door behind Leo crashed open, a man in a simple grey and brown uniform entering the room.

“Hey! What’s going on in he-”

as the man spoke he reached out, touching Leo’s shoulder. Instantly Leo spun around grabbing the man’s wrist. Mikey flinched as a sickening crack echoed through the room followed a moment later by the sound of the man screaming in pain as his wrist dislocated. The man staggered away as Leo turned back to Minerva his sides heaving with rage while his face twisted into a snarl.

“SAY SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT MY MOTHER! I FUCKING DARE YOU! SHE WAS PERFECT! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SPEAK ABOUT HER!”

Across the room Minerva screamed back at him.

“YOU UNGRATFUL SINNFUL LITTLE BASTARD! I WANT YOU ARRESTED! I’LL SEE YOU AND YOUR ‘BOYFRIEND’,” she spat the word like it was coated in poison. “IN JAIL!”

Mikey moved, rushing forward to grab Leo’s hand as Leo took several steps towards her; screaming as he moved.

“LEO NO!”

he gripped Leo’s wrist, doing his best to hold Leo back. Behind him he could hear people outside the room shouting, calling for security. But if Leo heard those shouts he ignored them, instead snarling again at Minerva.

“I’LL KILL YOU!”

Mikey struggled to hold Leo back. Leo’s skin felt hot to the touch. Mikey let out a yelp of fear as Leo turned to glare at him. Gone was the kind, gently Leo he’d fallen in love with. This Leo was filled with rage, his face hard and cold with fury. For a split second fear lanced through Mikey’s mind as Leo snarled at him; would Leo hurt him? His eyes jerked to the security guard Leo had injured. The man’s wrist hung limply at an awkward angle, while the man struggled to fight back tears. Mikey bit his lip, waiting for Leo to hit him or shove him away. Leo’s mind was a whirlwind. He’d never been this angry in his life, not even when he and his father had in each other’s faces screaming at the top of their lungs. Never before had he felt his muscles and skin burn like this. The urge to attack Minerva was almost overwhelming. He wanted nothing more than to grab her by the face and break every bone in her body for daring to talk badly about his mother. At the same time in the back of his mind he could feel Mikey holding him back; could hear Mikey pleading with him to stop.

He spun around, the anger taking over his mind. He wanted to shove Mikey away. He spun around, snarling at Mikey to try and make the younger turtle let go of his wrist. He watched as Mikey recoiled from his snarl, his eyes closing while his body tensed up expecting to be struck. The snarl died in his throat as he found that Mikey didn’t let go of him but instead clung to him tighter, despite his obvious fear. Something in Leo changed; he’d done this. He’d made Mikey the one person he loved beyond anything else, recoil in fear. His throat tightened as he let out a choked sob; sadness instantly replacing his anger. He’d done this to Mikey. He’d promised to always protect and love Mikey and yet he’d made him recoil in fear. He felt his heart clench as Mikey continued to hold onto him. Behind him he could hear Minerva still screaming, calling for security to come and arrest him, but he ignored her. He felt his legs buckle out from under him, dropping him to his knees.

“A…A….Mikey…..”

Slowly Mikey’s looked at Leo, his eyes still filled with fear. Leo reached out, pulling Mikey against his body.

“I’m sorry Mikey. I’m sor-”

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?”

Leo jumped slightly at the harsh tone of this new voice. Looking at the door Leo found that 3 security officers and a doctor had moved into the room. It took Leo a split second to recognize the doctor; a white bunny as one of the few friends he had in school, Usagi Yojimbo. He watched as Usagi looked around the room, behind them Minerva fell silent as Usagi spoke.

“Guards, please escort Leo and his guest to their car.”

Leo opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by Usagi.

“Then escort Ms. Yoshi to her car.”

Behind them Minerva started yelling.

“I WANT HIM ARRESTED! HE ASSAULTED ME!”

Usagi glared at her.

"If you say one more word I'll arrest YOU for disrupting the peace. This is a place of healing, and your shouting is disrupting the other patients. Guards, please remove them from the property. And if they try to come back in the next 24 hours arrest them."

Leo looked up at the guards, a pair of large tigers and a wolf before standing up.

"That......." he fell silent for a moment as Usagi turned to look at him.”...won’t be necessary. We’re leaving."

He slowly stood up, doing his best to keep his head down and not look at anyone in the room. He was painful aware that everyone, even people outside the room were watching him. He felt Mikey shift; their grip on each other changing to one of reassurance as Mikey slowly led him from the room and through the hallways. He kept his mouth shut, unable to speak as the sight of Mikey’s scared face stuck in his mind. He’d done that to Mikey. In his anger he’d lashed out, he’d become that other person; that person he’d sworn he’d never be again. Turning a corner in the hallway Leo froze as he found that they were not alone. The guard he’d attacked was there with a doctor who was examining his wrist, which still hung at an awkward angle. He slowed down, painfully aware that the guards escorting them tensed, waiting for him to attack or lash out. He forced himself to look up and speak,

“I’m…….I’m sorry I dislocated your wrist.”

The guard looked at him for a moment before speaking; his voice was kind but cold.

“Thanks for not breaking it.”

Leo smiled weakly, beginning to move again when one of the guars escorting him and Mikey told him to keep moving. Marching through the lobby Leo gripped Mikey’s hand tighter as they stepped out of the building and into the parking lot. Moving through the parking lot Leo let go of Mikey’s hand and after walking around the car go in, before turning on the engine and pulling out of the parking spot. For a full 15 seconds Leo paused, trying to figure out what to do next; only one thought came to mind. He sighed and began to drive, pulling out of the parking lot and driving down a side road, away from the hospital. He could feel Mikey watching him, silently asking him if he was ok. He didn’t speak, he couldn't; every time he opened his mouth to speak his throat would tighten up and his mouth would go dry. So he drove, following the roads he had walked and then driven on so many times in his past.

“Where…….where are we going?”

Mikey’s voice was weak as he spoke. Leo took several deep breaths before speaking.

“I……I want to show you something.”

he wasn't able to say more than that as his throat closed up and his mouth went dry again. So he drove, passing through the outskirts of the city before turning onto a dusty side road that led away from the town and ran parallel to the river near town. Behind them the sun was high in the sky, an indication that it was almost noon. For over an hour they drove in silence. The entire hour Leo struggled to speak, to reassure Mikey that he wasn’t angry anymore, that……that he was sorry for scaring him. Yet no matter how many times he opened his mouth to speak no words came out. He slowed down, pulling off the road and into a small patch of dirt next to the river. He shut off the engine, leaning forward to put his forehead against the steering wheel for a moment.

“Leo? Are you……ok?”

Leo took another deep breath before forcing himself to speak, despite the dry feeling of sandpaper scratching his throat.

“foll……follow me.”

he got out of the car waiting for Mikey to do the same before walking away, following a small dirt trail that he knew by heart. Pushing through the bushes and brush Leo glanced back to make sure Mikey was following him, before turning back to the path and continuing on. A few minutes down the trail Leo turned right, smiling weakly as he found himself back in his sanctuary. In front of him the trees and bushes parted, creating a beach clearing hidden by trees that over looked the water that slowly flowed past them. He felt something like…..calmness wash over him as he slowly sat down on a fallen log and began pulling off his shoes. Behind him he could feel Mikey watching watch him as he tugged off his shoes and socks before resting his feet on the cool sand. . Setting them to the side Leo smiled weakly at Mikey who smiled weakly back at him.

“I…….”

His throat tightened and became dry again, but he forced himself to speak.

“I……I used to come here……..when I’d……..when I’d had enough. I……I……..”

Leo broke off as he took several deep breaths. He put his head in his hands, willing himself to keep talking.

“I…….I used to imagine…….that everything was fine. That……..that my mother wasn't dead……that my father loved me……that I wasn't……..that I wasn't being abused. That……that I was happy.”

He broke off as his sides began to shake. He flinched slightly as he felt Mikey sit down next to him. He felt Mikey touch his hand, an action that made him let out a choked sob. Suddenly it all became too much. He felt like his world was spinning. He closed his eyes, willing himself to not be sick as wave after wave of nausea washed through him. His had tightened, gripping Mikey’s hand; the one bit of support he had right now. He forced himself to open his eyes and look at Mikey, who was watching him. Taking another breath Leo spoke.

“I’m…….I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Mikey. I…..I never meant……I’m……”

be was starting to cry, tears blurring his vision as he tried to keep himself from breaking down. He could see it, Mikey’s fear filled face swam in his head, the look of panic and fear so evident on his young face. The memory almost pushed him over the edge. He clung to Mikey’s hand desperate to make Mikey understand.

“I…..I...…”

he broke off as Mikey moved, squeezing his hand while moving to touch his arm.

“Leo…..I know you didn’t mean it. I know.”

All at once it became too much. He didn’t deserve Mikey’s forgiveness; his understanding. He wanted Mikey to yell, to get angry. To shout at him that he was a bastard who betrayed his trust. That he was no different from his father or Minerva.

“A…A…Mikey…..”

he felt tears well up in his eyes as Mikey smiled at him, before reaching up to stroke his face.

“It’s ok Leo. Everything is gunna be ok.”

He snapped, he buried his face against Mikey’s shoulders as he began to sob, his sides shaking and heaving as he cried. It was his fault. He was supposed to be in control, he was supposed to keep his anger under control. Yet it had gotten the better of him, Minerva’s words had made him lash out, allowing his anger to take control and………and……… Leo sobbed even harder as what he had done came crashing down on him. He’d hurt the guard, assaulted his father’s mother, and worst of all…….he’s made Mikey afraid of him. He’d betrayed the trust he’d worked so hard to build to Mikey. He could feel Mikey moving, rubbing the back of his neck and shell trying to calm him down as he cried. He clung to Mikey desperate to keep the young turtle there with him. If Mikey left, if he got up and walked out of Leo’s life…..the though made Leo shake and sob even harder. He spoke, keeping his face buried against Mikey’s shoulder.

“Please…..please don't leave me. Please……stay with me.”

He felt Mikey move, wrapping his arms around Leo’s shoulders.

“Shhhhh, shhhhh. It’s ok Leo. I’m here. I’m right here. Just hold me.”

Leo did as Mikey asked, clinging to him for who knows how long. As he held Mikey, Mikey spoke.

“I’m right here Leo. I’ll always be right here. Ok?”

Leo nodded, trying to bring himself back under control. Now was not the time to freak out. Now he needed to be strong. He took deep breaths slowly pulling away from Mikey and forcing himself to look at the water that slowly flowed passed them. After several minutes of breathing and watching the water he felt slightly better. This place had always been calming to him. He felt ‘removed’ here, like the rest of the world didn’t exist and he was completely alone; except he wasn't alone now, Mikey was here with him, and although the small turtle was doing his best to reassure Leo, Leo could tell that Mikey needed answers and the sooner the better. Taking several more moments to gather his thoughts Leo spoke.

“I’m……I’m sorry you saw that. I……..I NEVER wanted you to see me like that.”

Mikey nodded and squeezed his hand gently.

“Are you…..ok now?”

Leo sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his eyelids for a moment before responding.

“I don't know. Part of me……..part of me knows that what she said is horrible. Beyond disgusting……but………but another part of me is still a child, being told that I’m a disappointment to my family and……..and I can't just shake that off.”

Mikey squeezed his hand again.

“She’s wrong.”

Leo nodded.

“I….I know.”

After another moment of silence Mikey spoke. “Was her comments about your mother what sent you over the edge?” Leo nodded slowly.

“Yes……she……my mother died when I was 11. I….I don't have a lot of memories of her. Her death……it was devastating to me. I didn’t eat, barely spoke. I just…..I withdrew from the world. I just……couldn’t handle it.”

Mikey was silent for a moment before speaking softly.

“Tell me about her.”

Leo closed his eyes, pulling the memories to the front of his mind.

“She……she was perfect. She was a few shades lighter green then me. Her shell was always smooth. She loved the colors blue and orange. She…..she always smelled like peaches. And I don't think she disliked anyone. She always……”

Leo broke off, feeling tears begin to well up in his eyes.

“She always called me her…….her miracle child. She……..the doctors said she’d never have kids. But……but somehow she managed to have me. She…….everyday she’d hold me against her and tell me she loved me. she’d call me her angle and……and……”

he broke off as he began to cry, silent tears falling down his face as he remembered his mother; the single most perfect person he’d even known.

“I loved her so much. But I couldn't…….I………I couldn't save her. I……..” he bit his lip, his chest heaving with each breath he took. “I watched as she…….as she just faded away until she could hardly speak or breathe. And my father he……he……” Leo balled his hands into fists, anger mixing with his despair. “He hardly ever went to see her. She……she was all alone in that hospital, and he couldn't be bothered to go see her. Couldn't be bothered to go and see his dying wife, my mother. I…….I was so mad at him!” His voice began sharp and angry. He shook with anger as he recalled the screaming matches he and his father had, had. “I……I was there when she died. I……..I watched as she closed her eyes and……and never opened them again. And I was the only one with her. That started this, the anger between me and my father. I…..I swore I’d never forgive him for not visiting her more. That I’d never let him forget that I, his 11 year old son was the only person with her when she died.”

He took deep breath, willing the anger that bubbled in his gut to lessen. He didn’t need anger right now. He needed to stay calm. “After that…….I didn’t stay at home much. Being anywhere was better than being in the house. I’d go for walks after school, and just spend hours walking along the river and fields. I just…….I couldn't stand being home alone with my father.” He felt Mikey squeeze his hand gently. “I was just……I was so mad at him. I looked at him and all I could see was a man who instead of going to see his dying wife; would instead get so drunk he could hardly speak or string two words together. I’d come home at night and he’d be passed out in front of the couch. He’d have to drag him up to his bedroom, fix myself dinner, do homework and by that time I only had a few hours to sleep before I had to go and do it all over again. I just……”

he let go of Mikey’s hand, clenching his fingers against the wooden log they were sitting on; feeling his nails gouge at the soft partially rotted wood. “I HATED him.” he felt Mikey touch his shoulder in support. “We….we stopped talking to each other. He was either drunk or yelling at me. Then…..then one night. We really got into it. We were screaming at each other across the kitchen and……and he reached across the table and smacked me so hard I hit the wall.” Leo bit his lip as he forced himself to look at Mikey who continued to touch his shoulder in support. “I ran out of the house, screaming at him the entire time that I wish it was him who had died and not mother. I don't even remember how I did it but……but somehow I wound up here.” He gestured to the small beach they were on now.

“I’d never been out this far from town. It was so……peaceful. It felt so good to get away from the town and just…….just be alone. I…..I started coming here every day. I’d get a book from the school library and I’d come down here and read. If it was hot I went swimming, if it was cold I’d make a little fire and I’d just……..I’d do my best to cope with everything that was happening. This place……it became my sanctuary.”

Mikey smiled a Leo who smiled weakly back. “I just……..i wanted to show you this place. I just……..I feel at peace here.” Mikey nodded and shifted, so he could lean against Leo while resting his head on Leo’s shoulder. “Well……then let’s stay here until you feel at peace. Ok?”

he felt Leo shift, putting one of his arms around Mikey’s shoulder.

“Ok. Thank you.”

Time seemed to fade away as they sat there on the log, watching as the water of the river washed by them. All around them birds chirped and spoke to each other, in front of them the water made its own distinct sound; punctuated by the occasional frog calling to its fellow frogs. High above them the sun began its slow trek across the sky and began to set.

 

 

LATER

 

 

Leo shifted, rolling onto his back to look up at the hotel ceiling. Next to him Mikey snored gently, having fallen asleep almost…… sitting up Leo felt his eyes widen as he found it was 2AM; he’d been laying awake for almost 6 hours. Slowly he shifted, looking at Mikey who moaned and twitched in his sleep, muttering something about unlimited pizza. Sighing to himself Leo closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep, but found it was no good. He wasn't tired. Sighing again Leo moved, slowly sitting up before getting out of bed carefully so as not to wake up Mikey. His body moved on its own, pulling on his clothes before scribbling a note for Mikey and setting it on the nightstand before quietly leaving the hotel room and going down to the lobby. He smiled weakly at the lobby attendant who watched him curiously as he strode through and out of the lobby before getting in his car and starting the engine. As he drove he busied himself with the radio flicking through the channels before coming to a stop as a song that he knew began to play. Driving down the mostly empty streets Leo soon found himself in the nearly empty parking lot of the hospital. Pulling into a parking space Leo paused, taking several deep breaths before getting out of the car and walking up to the lobby. As he climbed the last step and moved to open the doors a voice to his right spoke.

“Thought I said you had to wait 24 hours before you were allowed back inside?”

Leo bit his lip but smiled as he turned to find Usagi leaning again the wall, a small can of soda clutched in his hand; obviously on break.

“I need to see him.”

Usagi raised an eyebrow.

“You gunna kill him yourself?”

Leo shook his head

“no. but there are things I need to say to him. I don't care if he hears them or even responds but……..but I need to say them to him.”

Usagi was silent for a moment before taking a sip from the can he was holding.

“You sure that’s such a good idea? Leo……sometimes you have to let the ghosts of the past die.”

Leo bit his lip and forced himself to speak calmly, getting mad at Usagi would not solve his problem.

“Not these ones, not yet. Not till I say what it is I have to say.”

He watched as Usagi sighed and shrugged.

“Fine.”

A moment later Usagi drained his drink before motioning for Leo to follow him; moving through the lobby and the maze of hallways before coming to a stop in front of the room his father was in. Leo watched as Usagi turned to him.

“Try not to break anything this time.”

Leo smiled weakly at Usagi.

“Thank you for doing this.”

Usagi shrugged.

“We’re friends Leo.”

Leo bit his lip.

“I……I know. And…..and I’m sorry I haven’t always acted like it. But……thank you.”

Again Usagi shrugged.

“It’s fine. You had way more important things to worry about.”

Usagi turned and began to walk away, leaving Leo alone in front of the door to his father’s room. Taking a deep breath Leo pushed the door opened and stepped inside. He paused, his eyes roving over his father’s frail form, the machines that beeped and chirped indicating he was still live. Taking another deep breath Leo began to speak.

“Well……..now that your bitch of a mother isn’t here. We can finally talk.”

His father’s only response was for his chest to raise and lower as he took shallow breaths. Moving forward Leo gripped the railing on the foot of the bed before continuing.

“I don't know if you can hear me……and frankly I don't care. You and I have always had a hard time speaking to each other……..so now that you can interrupt me I’m going to say what I have to say.” Taking another deep breath he continued

“you’re an asshole. A complete and total asshole that only cares about himself. I…….When I came to you, told you I was being molested what did you do? YOU BEAT ME.” he spoke the words forcefully. “You turned your back on me when I needed you most of all. Because of you……” Leo broke up, as tears welled up in his eyes. But he wiped them away; he was done crying. He snarled at his father’s unmoving form. “You turned your back on me. Because of you I was molested for 6 YEARS!”

he shouted the last word at his father. “For 6 years he touched me, raped me, made me feel powerless and helpless; while no one did ANYTHING!” he took several calming breaths. If he continued to be angry he might say something that could get him into trouble. He might say that he’d murdered his molester. Closing his eyes for several moments Leo continued.

“You know, I spent years traveling the world, learning about different cultures and religions. But do you know what they all have in common, their opinion of a father who turns his back on his son.” He gripped the railing tighter willing his unconscious father to feel just how angry he was. When he spoke his tone was firm and unyielding. “WHAT YOU DID IS BEYOND FORGIVNESS. AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL FOR IT.”

He took several more breaths before continuing. “No…..no I’m lying. I don't……I don't want you to burn in hell. But I do want you to suffer. I want you to suffer as badly as I did for all those years. I want you to feel pathetic and powerless.” Despite the anger that bubbled in his stomach Leo found himself laughing. “You know…….you know I learned something interesting in my travels. Several religions don't believe YOUR personal sins decide if you go to hell or not. Those religions believe that it’s the people you’ve affected the most that decide. That your soul is brought before a court and you’re given a chance to defend every bad and good thing you’ve ever done.”

He gripped the railing tighter. “You’d better PRAY that’s not how death works, because if it is. You’ll be in hell for a very long time. You........you’re……” he broke off as he felt his throat tighten for a moment, but he forced himself to keep talking. He was not going to stop now. “You’re the last thing keeping me connected to this wretched place. Once you’re gone. I’ll NEVER come back here again. I’ll…….I’ll……..” he took another breath as his throat again tightened. “I will NEVER forgive you for what you did to me………but I can forget. Everyday………everyday I’ll think about you, and this wretched place less and less until finally I don't think about it at all. And on that day; then and only then will I let your soul out of hell.” He growled as again his father didn’t respond. He wanted to see his father react. To hear his father speak or see him move or……..something.

He let go of the railing, balling his hand into a fist. “Even when you give me what I want…..you still screw me over. I…..I…..” but he broke off as he coughed slightly. He mouth felt like there was sand in it, he could barely talk it was so dry. Coughing some more Leo turned, heading out of the room and towards the small water cooler he’d passed on the way here. Filling a cup with water Leo drank until his mouth wasn't dry before taking a deep breath, doing his best to let go of his anger. Closing his eyes for a moment he willed himself to relax; in the back ground he could hear people speaking, calling to each other. He stood there in the hallway, allowing the feeling of the water in his stomach to cool down his oddly hot skin; behind him more voices called and spoke to each other. Throwing away his cup Leo turned and began to move back to his father’s room. But he froze as he turned the corner and caught sight of his father’s door. It had been pulled wide open, with several voices coming from inside of the room. He felt his legs go numb as he stood there, his entire body locked up, unable to move as he watched a doctor dressed in a white lab coat rush into the room. He could their voices getting louder, shouting to each other.

“BLOOD PRESSURE IS DROPPING, HEARTRATE IS DOWN. HE’S GOING INTO-”

Leo’s entire body flinched as though he’d been struck as a cool, flat tone cut through all the sound around him. It was a cold tone. A tone that left no room for negotiations or please for mercy. It was cold, unyielding, unwavering in its meaning. The moment it cut through the air the nurses and doctors stopped talking, seeming to freeze. The tone carried on for what felt like an eternity, before vanishing. A moment later a male voice spoke within the room.

“He’s……gone…..”

His body moved on its own, his legs carrying him down the hallway and away from his father’s room. He was barely aware he was moving though the hallways, completely ignoring the looks he got as he passed through the lobby and out of the doors before finding his car and climbing inside. The drive back to the hotel seemed to be over before he was able blinked. All too soon he was shutting off the engine and getting out, before walking to elevator and stepping out. Each step towards his room seemed to take great effort, and his hands shook as he opened the door with him room key; stepping into the dark room before closing the door behind him. From the sounds of it, Mikey was still asleep and hadn’t woken up at all. He moved, pulling off his jeans and shirt before slowly crawling into bed next to Mikey; making the smaller turtle shift as he woke up.

“L…Leo?”

Leo didn’t respond until his arms were wrapped firmly around Mikey’s shoulders with his neck buried against the back of Mikey’s neck.

“Shhhhh......go back to sleep. Everything is ok.”

Mikey didn’t respond, only scooted a little bit closer to Leo before seeming to drift back to sleep. Leo closed his eyes; it was over. His last connection to this horrible place was gone; it was what he’d wanted…… why then did he have a knot of cold pain in his gut?


	10. Chapter 10

Slowly Donnie woke, blinking as he slowly sat up. looking across the room he bit his lip. Raphael had shifted, he no longer lay under the covers and blankets but instead sat sitting on top of them. he’d pulled on his underwear and pants with his shirt slung over his shoulder, while he held his head in his hands. As Donnie watched Raph's sides shook slightly.

“R….raph?”

Donnie’s voice made Raph flinch slightly, yet still the red turtle turned a little to look at him with one eye.

“oh……sorry…….I…….I didn’t mean to……….wake you.”

Sitting up a little more Donnie made sure to keep the blankets around his chest and neck; there was no need to remind Raph of what had happened the night before.

“raph……..are you…….ok?” h

e watched as Raph took another breath his sides shaking.

“I………I……….”

he watched as Raph struggled for a moment to put into words what he was feeling.

“I keep……going through it all……in my head…….I just…….we……I……..”

Donnie watched as Raph ran his hands across his face, taking several deep breaths. It was heartbreaking to watch. Donnie shifted, slowly crawling across the bed before reaching out to touch Raph only to freeze. Touching Raph could make this situation a whole lot worse.

“Raph……is it ok if I touch you?”

Raph was silent for a moment before responding.

“no…..” Donnie recoiled slightly, as much as he hated to admit it, Raph's response hurt. “yes……fuck I don't know…….do whatever you want.”

Slowly Donnie moved forward touching Raph's shoulder gently, noting that Raph flinched slightly at his touch.

“Raph……….talk to me. tell me what you’re feeling.”

He stopped moving, sitting down on the bed next to Raph while squeezing Raph's shoulder gently. He watched as Raph remained silent for several minutes before speaking.

“I’m……not…..gay. I’m not gay. I don't like guys.”

Donnie nodded.

“ok. I understand.”

Raph looked at him, his eyes looking at Donnie for a moment before continuing.

“but…….last night…….it……..”

Donnie watched as Raph bit his lip, his shoulders slumped and his voice became much weaker.

“it felt…..SO good.”

Donnie nodded, again squeezing Raph’s shoulder for reassurance.

“Raph it’s-”

but Raph interrupted him, continuing to speak in his weak voice.

“I’ve never felt anything like that. Everything was so……..perfect. I…….I……I…..”

Raph's sides began to shake as he buried his head in his hands again. Donnie bit his lip, deciding he needed to comfort Raph before things got much worse. He moved, slowly shifting to wrap his arms around Raph's shoulders. He knew almost instantly it had been the wrong thing to do. Raph's entire body jerked away from him, while his hands pushed against Donnie’s chest. Donnie recoiled watching as Raph scrambled off the bed as though it were red hot, his shell hitting the wall as his face contorted into panic.

“Raph., it’s ok. Just calm do-”

but Raph's voice had become panicked now as he shook his head.

“NO…..NO! I’m not gay. I’m not gay!”

Raph's entire body shook as he half shouted at Donnie who recoiled at the harsh tone. He wanted to reassure Raph, wanted to tell him that this one night didn’t mean he was gay. He moved, slowly reaching out to try and reassure Raph that everything was ok. But his voice died in his throat as he watched Raph's eyes jerk left and right, while his hands tried to find something to hold onto. Donnie bit his lip, as he watched Raph take several deep breaths before speaking.

“I……I need to go.”

Donnie felt his heart clench at Raph’s words. He took several breaths of his own before responding.

“o….ok.”

he bit his lip, watching as Raph turned away from him before pulling open the door. “

“R….raph……”

Raph turned, looking at the bed instead of Donnie.

“what?”

Donnie was silent for a moment. He wanted to say something to calm Raph down, something to reassure the young turtle that everything was ok. Part of him wanted to beg Raph to come back to bed and lay down again.

“I…….I won’t tell anyone. Ok?”

he watched Raph shift, looking directly at him for a moment before speaking.

“th….thank you.”

Donnie offered Raph a weak smile which Raph did not return. Donnie felt his smile fade as Raph continued to look at him before taking a deep breath.

“I have to go.”

Donnie nodded slightly, pulling his legs against his chest as he did so. He understood, he really did. Right now Raph was freaking out and he needed to get away from the source of his confusion; Donnie. But that did not stop his heart from clenching in pain as Raph left the room. That did not stop silent tears from falling down his face as he heard Raph move downstairs or open the front door. Only then did he begin to sob, his sides shaking as he listened to Raph start the engine in his jeep. Instantly the urge to call Raph, to text him, to plead with him to come back and hold him flooded through Donnie’s body. Before he knew what he was doing his phone was in his hand, Raph's number already punched in to send a text.

His fingers froze as they hovered over the buttons. What…..what was he doing? Raph had been practically run from the room. If he texted Raph now, sounding as desperate as he felt……it would only make Raph feel worse than he already did. Yet the urge to comfort Raph still coursed through his veins. He tok a deep breath, willing himself to calm down slightly before touching the buttons, typing out a message before hitting ‘send’. A moment he pulled open his nightstand and put his phone inside the drawer before closing it. he forced himself to lay down, forcing himself to close his eyes and try to go back to sleep. For several moment he shifted, the bed felt oddly large now that he was the only one in it.

Sighing he rolled over, his eyes finding the small impression in the sheets that Raph had left. He bit his lip for a moment before making up his mind. Part of him felt dirty, like how was doing something gross or perverted; as he shifted over to the spot that Raph had been sleeping in. He clamped his eyes shut, unwilling to watch as he buried his nose against the pillow, inhaling Raph's scent for a moment. Silently he gripped the pillow Raph had held and pulled it against his chest; silently wishing it was the real Raph instead of something that smelled like him. He wanted to cry out, to call Raph; to beg him to come back so he could hold Donnie. But he didn’t. he forced himself to stay there, laying in Raph's scent, clutching the pillow against his body until fatigue carried him off to sleep.

 

 

RAPH’S POV

 

 

Raph's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts as he drove down the street before stopping in front of a stop light when it turned red. Part of him wanted to scream and claw at his skin. Another part of him wanted to run back to Donnie’s house and curl back up next to him. Another part of him wanted to beat the shit out of Donnie for making him this confused. While still another part wanted to pin him again a wall and kiss him again. Throwing his head back Raph yelled at the top of his lungs.

“GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!”

he gasped lungfuls of cold night air; listening to this shout fade into an echo and then into silence. He’d never been this confused or bothered in his life. It seemed like every part of his mind wanted him to do something different. he did his best to focus, right now he wanted to go home and crawl into bed; maybe things would be less confusing tomorrow. the drive back to Casey’s apartment seemed to pass by in a flash; one moment he was driving on the street and then next moment he was standing in front of the door to Casey’s apartment. Using his key to get in Raph throw himself into his bed the moment the door to his room was closed. He groaned as he pulled off his pants, before pulling the blankets back and burying himself under them. he curled up, pulling his knees against his body for warmth. He expected to lay awake for a while, for the whirling thoughts in his head to keep him from sleeping; but he was wrong he’d barely closed his eyes before his mind went blank and he drifted off to sleep.

However it was not the restful blank sleep he’d been hoping for. Instead his dreams were rough and disjointed; as though someone was playing 5 second clips of a film and all he could do was sit and watch it. He wanted to scream as he found his mind bogged down with a thousand memories of that night. Donnie’s breath on his face. The gentle curve of Donnie’s neck. Donnie’s face covered in a mixture of pain and pleasure as he climaxed. Thousands of small details he’d missed or ignored came rushing to him. he tried to take control but found it was no use. More images flashed through his mind. Him pinning Donnie down while his hand jerked Donnie off. The sound of Donnie’s moans and whimpers. The feeling of Donnie’s hand in his. He found himself yearning for more as the memories flooded over him. The taste of Donnie’s skin as he licked and bit it. the feeling of Donnie’s shell against his chest. Donnie’s words about liking things rough. He tried to wake up, doing his best to try and pull his mind out of the dream. How wonderful it had felt to bury himself inside Donnie’s body. How he’d pounded in and out of the purple turtle, desperate for release. How his world felt like it had exploded when he finally did cum. He tried to close his eyes, tried to block the images and feelings from rushing over him. yet it was no good, he pulled at him refusing to be ignored, and all he could do was try and resist until the dream ended.

 

 

LATER

 

 

Raph groaned as slowly he opened his eyes. Sunlight was streaming into his room, it was morning. He groaned again as he slowly sat up, putting his hands in his head. He might as well have not slept at all; he felt so drained and tired. For a moment he considered laying back down and trying to sleep again. but he discarded that thought right away, no way was he willing to go through the memories of last night again. Sitting up Raph rubbed his eyes, before swinging his legs over the bed before getting up. he groaned as he found the backs of his thighs to be a little sore. For a split second he wondered why this was; a deep blush covering his face as his mind reminded him of how hard he’d thrust in and out of Donnie the night before. “no…no…no.” Raph shook his head, pressing his hands against his eyes, trying to block those thoughts out. Last night had been……….

“we were both drunk. It….it didn’t mean anything……I don't like guys. I like girls, I like tits and lingerie and……and……”

great now he was talking to himself. Growling Raph slapped himself the pain helping to focus his mind. Pushing all thoughts of Donnie or the night before from his mind Raph dug around in his closet until he found a pair of shorts and a shirt that were clean, before pulling them on and leaving his room.

Moving down the hallway and into the kitchen Raph set about fixing himself something to eat; simple toast with a glass of milk. Dropping down he slowly ate his food before dropping himself onto the couch. He could hear sounds coming from Casey’s room, judging by the twin voices coming from behind the door Casey had a lady-friend over for some fun last night. Sure enough after a few minutes the door opened revealing a disheveled Casey who’s hair was pointed up in every direction, and a girl Raph recognized from the school but never spoke to. He smiled weakly at the girl who scurried to put on her shoes before practically running from the apartment. Casey meanwhile had begun to make his own toast and spoke only as he sat down to eat.

“where were you last night?”

Raph bit his lip.

“I……spent the night at a friend’s place.”

Casey gave a mock look of indignation.

“you have other friends besides me?”

Raph growled and threw a random magazine at Casey who smacked it out of the air laughing as he did so. After eating Casey said something about going to the mall; Raph shrugged only half paying attention to him. soon enough he was alone in the apartment, just him……..and his thoughts. Sighing Raph lay back on the couch, stretching out as he willed himself to relax. He took deep breaths, doing his best to make himself comfortable as he felt his mind begin to wander back to last night. It was no use running from it; he might as well face what had happened at try to come to terms with it. He……and Donnie had………..fucked.

He groaned again, rubbing his face as those words echoed in his head. He and Donnie had had sex……and…..he’d…….. Raph growled and pressed his hands against his eyes. How did this happen? How had he gotten himself into this? He tried to come up with reasons, he’d had a few drinks…..he as lonely…….he was…..curious. He groaned, doing his best to push that thought down. Yet try as he might that thought seemed to take over his mind. He had only had one drink, so he hadn’t been drunk. As for being lonely………ok maybe he was a little lonely. He didn’t have many friends besides Casey or his brother.

Harmony had been the first person he’d actively met up with outside of school; and that was mostly sex, although if what Harmony had said was true then perhaps she wanted to become more then fuck buddies. So that left only one option……..he’d be curious. Taking a deep breath he allowed that idea to grow in his mind. Yes…….he had been curious. His little brother was gay, which meant his little brother had sex….with men……..and recently he’d struggled to understand the appeal that men held over his brother. Had…….had he really been so curious that he’d had sex with a man just to see what it was like? Raph forced himself to consider this thought. Had last night just been an experiment? He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes even harder. Despite his uncertainty at his reasons for doing it……he and Donnie had slept together…..and…….he’d enjoyed it.

He bit his lip, trying to recall exactly what it was that had made last night so………intense. Try as he might he could not narrow down a single thing that had pushed him so completely over the edge. Yes he’d been a little drunk. Yes he’d enjoyed the sounds Donnie had made, the gentle churrs and shuddering moans. Yes he'd…….loved feeling Donnie squirm and writhe under him. and………. Again he bit his lip this time trying to hold back and small whimper that threatened to escape his mouth. it had felt so good, SO good. Something about Donnie’s whimpers had enthralled him. The sounds had made him bolder, made him press forward to go further and further until…….. Raph snarled balling his hands into fists before slamming them against the couch cushions several times.

Why was this affecting him so much? It had been an experiment nothing more. It wasn't like he was going to suddenly run to Donnie and they’d become boyfriends. No he would go back to his daily life and Donnie would go back to his. Raph would continue to sleep with girls and Donnie…….. Raph's train of thought broke off as the mental image of Donnie with another man entered his image. Against his will he felt anger bubble in his stomach as he imaged the other man kissing Donnie, touching his skin, licking his neck; all of it making Donnie whimper and churr as he had done for Raph. Again his will he groaned as he felt his bod begin to respond to the memories.

.

.

.

He growled and forced himself to think of other things. Sitting back up Raph ran his hands over his head. Why was this happening to him? what- but his thoughts were cut off as someone knocked on the apartment door. A moment later Raph's head jerked up as harmony’s voice spoke.

“Raph Are you in there?”

YES, THIS WAS EXACTLY WHAT HE NEEDED!

“C….coming!”

he practically threw himself at the door pulling it open before blinking at harmony who frowned at him.

“You said you’d call me last night.”

Raph's eyes widened; he had indeed told harmony that he would call, but then……. Raph shook his head ridding himself of the memories of what had happened between him and Donnie. He smiled sheepishly at harmony.

“Sorry. I ended up…….getting sidetracked last night.”

Harmony raised an eyebrow but put on a pouting face.

“how are you gunna make it up to me?”

Raph grinned before grabbing her wrist and pulling her inside the apartment before closing the door behind him. he knew EXACTLY how he was going to make it up to her.

 

 

DONNIE’S POV

 

 

Donnie sighed and took a sip from the cup of coffee he had made himself. He’d taken the day off; he’d called April and told her he wasn't feeling well and that she could go home if she wanted too. She’s told him once she was done with some file clean ups she would. Not he sat on his couch, trying to busy himself with watching TV while the memories of last night played endlessly in his head. How could this have happened? how could he, knowing Raphael’s mental and emotional state have allowed this to happen? In truth they were rather pointless questions; he knew why this had happened. Raphael was obviously an alpha turtle which meant that his very presence drew in submissive; AKA Donnie. But it was more than that, try as he might to come up with a better reason Donnie could not escape the fact that…..he liked Raphael.

The muscle bound turtle made him feel……..happy; on odd occurrence considering they had hardly spent any time together, and yet given the circumstances Donnie felt as though he already knew Raphael as though they’d grown up together. Over weeks of listening to Mikey talk about Raphael he’d developed a bit of a soft spot for Raph. Yes he'd been aggressive to the point of almost being violent when they’d first met; but that had been because at the time Raph had been a threat to his patient’s recovery. But now…….now that Raph and Mikey were talking again, now that Leo and Mikey were in a stable-ish relationship……… again he bit his lip. Was he ready for this? If Raph wanted to be more then friends was he, Donnie ready for it? Donnie closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. All these thoughts and feelings were getting him nowhere.

For all he knew this had been just a onetime thing for Raph to try just to see what it was like. This filled Donnie with sadness. He knew it wasn't fair, he knew he had no right to hope that Raph would come back to him; and yet…. he couldn’t help it. he couldn't help wanting Raph to come back, to hold him and kiss him. he pulled his knees against his chest. Despite his words last night part of him had yearned to feel Raph's arms around his shoulder as they had slept. Part of him had pleaded with himself to voice the desires he kept bottled up as he’d lay there next to Raph, feeling the larger turtle shift and move trying to get comfortable. But he'd been selfish; he’d denied himself and Raph of that desire. He’d wanted nothing more than to allowed Raph to hold him; but instead he’d given Raph a pillow.

Donnie bit his lip, burying his face against his knees as small tears began to leak down his face. It was all his fault…… everything was his fault. He was supposed to be smart; he was supposed to be a genius. He should have realized what was going to happen and stopped himself. He….he should have stopped himself from allowing Raph to do those things to him. He should have known things would wind up worse than they were before. Things always wound up like this when he met someone he liked. Things always become complicated or painful and in the end……he always wound up alone again. against his will his eyes flicked towards his cellphone which was sitting on the table next to the couch. He wanted to call Raph, to ask him how he was doing, to make sure he was ok; to just hear Raph's voice. But he resisted the urge. Raph hadn’t even responded to the text he’d sent last night; calling him would just make things worse. He would remain here on his couch; trying to take his mind off the feelings of guilt and pain that welled up in his stomach and chest.

 

 

RAPH’S POV

 

 

Laying on his bed Raph bit his lip as he snuggled in closer to Harmony. Harmony shifted, slowly sitting up before looking down at him.

“that was fun.”

Raph smiled and traced out to touch her hand and trace the muscles under her skin.

“you should stay here today. We can be lazy and stay in bed all day.”

Karai looked down at him for a moment.

“tempting……”

he moved in closer sitting up to nuzzle her neck.

“but I have to go.”

Raph pulled away watching as harmony turned and slowly got out of the bed.

“but……”

Raph bit his lip. He didn’t want to sound whiney or needy but…….

“I was hoping we could…..cuddle more.”

Harmony looked at him slightly confused.

“why? Are you wanting to go again?”

Raph shook his head.

“no….I just……..i wanted to cuddle a little.”

Harmony frowned at him.

“Raph……I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now. Sorry if you thought otherwise but……….we’re just friends with benefits. Ok?” Raph nodded. This shouldn’t have bothered him. why then did his chest tighten as he watched harmony pull on her clothes before smiling down at him. “stay cute honey.”

A moment later she was gone; walking out of his room and soon the apartment. Raph sighed and closed his eyes, dropping himself down onto the mattress. Something was off. Yes, the sex had felt good. But…….it hadn’t felt as good as he'd hoped it would. Each orgasm seemed…….hallow. it didn’t matter how many times he felt the pleasure flood through his body. It did not have the same kind of…….earth shatter, heart stopping, mind numbing quality it had, had the night before. Reaching over Raph grabbed his pillow and pushed it against his face. He growled, the sound muffled by the pillow. The sex hadn’t been the only thing that had been wrong. Harmony’s body felt wrong to him. it was too soft, to fragile, too disgustingly smooth to the touch.

But it went beyond her body; her moans even her voice, were just not arousing to him anymore. It was only through sheer force of will that he’d keep himself going until harmony had told him she was done; which had come as a relief to him. He growled, pushing the pillow harder against his face. he wasn't gay; he didn’t like men. So why did harmony suddenly seem to boring to him. by all accounts the sex they had just had, was the roughest longest lasting sex they’d had yet. why then had his stomach not burned with passion and lust? Why had he found his mind drifting back to the previous night? Why could he not help but compare harmony’s moans to Donnie’s? he pulled the pillow away from his face as his phone began to ring. Sitting up Raph picked up his phone and groaned. Why was coach calling him?

“hello?”

after a moment of silence coach’s voice came through the phone, he did not sound happy.

“you answered you’re not dead. so maybe you can explain to me why you’re not at practice like your other teammates?”

raph glared at his phon for a moment.

“but we don't have practices on Thursdays.”

After a moment coach responded.

“I sent text-messages to everyone last night telling them to be here. Why didn’t you check your phone?”

Raph bit his lip; there was no way in hell he was going to tell coach what had happened.

“I’m waiting Raphael.”

Raph sighed, “last night……….I had a family problem. I only just got home and……..look I’m sorry. I’ll run as many laps as you want, but I’m not coming to practice today. Not with what just happened.”

he didn’t have to be there to know that coach was furious with him.

“and just what did happen Raphael?”

Raph bit his lip, his mind frantically searching for something he could use.

“my…….one of my friend’s father is dying and he had a bit of a break down, so I had to go over to his house and keep him from hurting himself or anyone.”

There was silence on the line for several seconds; long enough for Raph to question if his excuse had worked. A moment later he let out a silent sigh of relief; when coach spoke his tone had softened slightly.

“I’m…..sorry for your friend’s loss. I’ll excuse the absence this once, but do not let it happen again. If you miss another practice I will bench you for the rest of the season. Understand?”

Raph nodded, more to himself than anyone else.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

A moment later the line went dead. Closing his eyes for a moment Raph groaned before flicking over to his phone’s Inbox. Sure enough he had a text message from coach telling him there was a remedial practice today. But Raph frowned as he found that the text from coach was not the only message he had waiting from him. His eyes narrowed slightly as he found that Donnie had texted him some time in the night. For a full minute he debated whether or not to open the text or just delete it.

Deciding he should at least see what Donnie had sent him Raph clicked on the icon and watched as the message sprang open. As his eyes roved over the words he felt his heart clench in pain, the words ‘I hope we can still be friends’; made him feel somehow even worse then he already did. Was Donnie as upset and confused as he was? Was the purple turtle also laying awake trying to come to terms with what had happened? He’d rushed out of the house so fast….he’d never stopped to consider how that would make Donnie feel. He felt guilt well up in his stomach, like a cold slush that froze his insides.

His mind flicked back to that night, to the small sound he’d heard Donnie make when Donnie had handed him the pillow. At the time he’d been too tired to focus on the sound, yet now he found himself worried. If his memory was correct the sound had been a small sob. His stomach tightened painfully. He’d been rough with Donnie last night. Rougher then he’d even been before during sex. Was it possible…….had he actually hurt Donnie? Again his stomach tightened painfully. Donnie had said he liked things rough but not painful. In his heat induced frenzy had he actually hurt Donnie and not heard or maybe ignored the turtle’s protests? His breaths were becoming painful now.

It was starting to come back to him now; he’d hurt Donnie last night. Slowly he removed the pillow from over his head, looking up at his hands. He’d gripped Donnie’s hips so tightly, they were sure to bruise. He’d pounded into Donnie with no regard for how the violent thrusts might have made Donnie feel; he’d been so consumed by his own need for release.

He bit his lip. He had to make sure Donnie was ok. He had to go and……apologize to him. slowly he got out of bed pulling on his clothes before grabbing his keys and going out to his jeep. Soon enough he was driving down the streets. Why hadn’t he realized before; that the noise Donnie had made last night had been because he was in pain? Coming to a stop in front of a light Raph bit his lip again. Would Donnie even let him insides? He shook his head.

No, this was something he had to do; whether Donnie accepted it or not. He needed to apologize for causing Donnie pain. Pulling up in front of Donnie’s house Raph closed his eyes and willed himself to relax. Donnie was a reasonable turtle, surely he’d understand what had happened. taking another breath Raph got out of his jeep and walked up to the front door before knocking softly on it; he could hear sounds coming from a TV, followed my footsteps and then….. he watched as the front door opened and Donnie came into view.

For a full 10 seconds they just looked at each other, neither of them speaking. It was Raph who broke the silence,

“I……I…..I just……”

god why was he stuttering like this? He felt his heart beat furiously in his chest as he looked at Donnie, who looked back at him.

“can…..can I come in?”

Donnie nodded and stepped aside allowing him back inside the house that he’d frantically ran away from hours ago. A moment later Donnie closed the door behind him before turning back to Raph who stood awkwardly in the hallway.

“I……um……I……”

He wanted to say he was sorry. Wanted to ask if there was anything he could do to make up for the pain he’d made Donnie feel that night. Yet he found all thoughts vanished from his mind as Donnie’s eyes and his connected. Before he knew what he was doing he’d moved; moving to stand only inches apart from Donnie who took a small step backwards his shell hitting the wall. He found himself enraptured by those perfect brown eyes. They seemed to suck him in and fill him with only one desire.

He leaned in groaned as their bodies pressed together gently. It felt so good, Donnie’s body was rough and ridged; not soft and squishy like harmony’s his eyes flickered over Donnie’s face, those perfect brown eyes were watching his every move. He leaned in closer, feeling Donnie’s breath ghost against his face. he paused for a moment as Donnie’s hands came up to rest against his chest; a small barrier between them.

“Raph……?”

he groaned, why did hearing his name spoken through those lips fill him with need. His hand moved, slowly coming up to touch Donnie’s arm. Their lips met in a gentle kiss. It wasn't sexual or lustful, it was gentle. For Raph it was like taking a cold drink on a hot day. It was everything he’d wanted the kisses with harmony to be. All too soon though Donnie pulled away his hands pushing Raph away slightly.

“don't…….”

Raph recoiled slightly.

“A….Donnie?”

Donnie looked at him his eyes filled with want and desire; but still somehow managed to push against him again.

“I……I don’t want to be hurt again.”

that once sentence made Raph's blood run cold. He HAD hurt Donnie last night. He took a step backwards away from Donnie who remained leaning against the wall.

“I’m sorry……I……I never meant to hurt you.”

In front of him Donnie sighed.

“I’m the one who should be sorry.”

Raph looked up at him confused.

“huh?”

Donnie closed his eyes.

“I…..i took advantage of you last night. I knew what kind of emotional state you were in and……and I used that to my advantage. It…..it was wrong. And I’m so sorry. I just……..”

Donnie’s voice trailed off as he opened his eyes and looked at Raph again. how could the muscle bound turtle be so perfect. Here he was apologizing to Raph for manipulating him and yet all his mind could think about was how badly he wanted Raph to kiss him again; how desperately he wanted to feel their bodies press against each other again. “how can you be so perfect?”

Raph looked at Donnie unsure.

“I….I don't know what you mean.”

Slowly Donnie sunk down to the floor, before taking deep breaths to continue.

“I……..I like you Raph. I like you more then I should like a friend. I…..i know it’s messed up. but I can't help it. I want you, I want you to kiss me and hold me and……and be mine. Last night…….” He broke off as he took another shuddering breath. “last night……..i saw a chance to have what I wanted. And I…….I took that chance.”

Slowly Raph knelt down so he was on Donnie’s level, while Donnie continued to speak.

“but I made things worse. I always make things worse. I just…………” Raph felt his eyes widen as small tears began to run down Donnie’s face. “I wanted you to want me too. I wanted you to be mine. I’m……I’m sorry I did that to you.” Slowly Raph spoke.

“Donnie that’s not……”

but Donnie snarled and put his face in his hands.

“RRRG!”

Raph watched as Donnie began to hit himself. Rushing forward he pinned Donnie’s hands against the wall.

“WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?”

Donnie looked up at him, pain, sadness, anger; all of it reading clearly in Donnie’s eyes.

“I can't stop. I can't……..even now I want you. I just……….I’m a horrible person.”

He began to struggle, trying to break free of Raph's grip; which proved to be too strong. After a moment his struggles were stopped by Raph who growled at him.

“Donnie…..” he found himself drawn into Raph's green eyes. “I don't know if any of that is true or not……but you did something to me. Something has changed for me. I……..i’m not gay. The idea of men touching me or having sex with them makes me want to vomit…….but……….but the idea of touching you…….of kissing you and………other stuff……….it doesn’t.” Donnie watched as Raph looked away for a moment before looking back to him. “I’m not gay. But……but I think I like you as more than a friend. And……….i may not understand these feelings…..but…………”

Raph sighed and let go of Donnie’s wrists, before speaking again. “last night you said I don't process my emotions well. You were right. I have a hard time handling how I feel. My emotions get tangled up and confused and in the end I just get mad. But………but not with you.” Donnie felt his heart jolt as Raph reached out and gently touch his hand. “I don't understand these feelings……….but I want to see where they go. I want………I want to experience them and see what happens.”

Across from him Donnie inhaled deeply. He wanted this, and yet…..

“don't play with me Raph. I…….i’m not something you can try out for a while and then decide you don't like it.”

Raph growled, sending a small jolt up Donnie’s spine.

“I’m not playing Donnie. I’m not saying I know what’s going on or what will happen but………but I want to find out. And…….and I want you to be with me when and if something does happen.”

As he spoke he squeezed Donnie’s hand gently. After a moment Donnie spoke.

“O…..ok. If you’re willing to try……..then I’m willing too.”

As he spoke he squeezed Raph's hand. For a moment they just looked at each other the weight of what they had just said slowly sinking into their brains. After a moment Raph moved, leaning in to plant another kiss on Donnie’s perfect lips; and this time Donnie didn’t push him away.


	11. Chapter 11

Leo groaned and slowly sat up in bed feeling Mikey shift slightly as he did so. Glancing around the darkened room Leo found that his cellphone had been what had woken him up. Reaching for the phone Leo muttered a small apology to Mikey who groaned and rolled over, burying his head under his pillow as Leo finally got to his phone. “h….hello?”

A man’s voice responded to him, “hello. Is Leonardo there?”

Leo dropped back down so he was laying against his pillow. “this is him.”

The voice pausedfor a moment before continuing. “my name is Henry Ranbot; I’m your father’s lawyer.”

Leo frowned. “my father had a lawyer?”

The voice responded, “yes. He hired me to ensure that his will and last wishes were carried out according to his instructions. Firstly I regret to inform you that your father died several hours ago.”

Leo bit his lip, “I know. I was there.”

The voice again paused for a moment before continuing. “I’m sorry for your loss Leonardo. Now according your father’s last wishes he’s to be buried in less than 24 hours after his time of death; in accordance with the burial rights of your mother. There will be a public funeral tomorrow and you will need to attend, because your father left you several items in his will.”

Leo sat up a little straighter. “Really? What did he leave me?”

Next to him he felt Mikey shift, looking over at him while Henry continued to speak. “I’m sorry but in order to claim your inheritance you’ll have to attend the funeral. Your father was VERY specific about this.”

Leo groaned and rubbed his eyes. “ok fine. I’ll be there. But I’m not going to get up and speak. I hated my father, and if you make me speak I’ll say that to everyone.”

Henry was silent for a moment before speaking again. “that will not be necessary; just show up at the funeral and once it’s over we’ll read his will.”

Leo sighed and nodded to himself. “ok. I’ll be there.”

“thank you Leonardo. Once again I’m sorry for your loss. Goodbye.”

A moment later the line went dead. shutting off his phone Leo groaned as he set the device down on the bedside table before closing his eyes and cuddling back up to Mikey. It was too early in the morning to think about this kind of stuff, hell the sun was barely even up. next to him Mikey shifted, “who was it?”

Leo shrugged as he nuzzled in closer to Mikey’s neck. “my father’s lawyer. He says i was left some things in he will, so I have to show up at the funeral tomorrow if I want to claim it.”

Mikey shifted, rolling onto his shell to look at Leo. “really? He left you something?”

Leo nodded, “yeah. I guess so. But I have to go to the funeral if I want o claim it.”

Mikey looked at him for a moment before speaking. “are you scared?”

Mikey’s voice was soft, it made Leo bite his lip and sigh.

“a……a little. I know Minerva will be there, along with other members of his side of the family. Most of them hate me, and the ones who don't hate me; don't give a crap about me. I…….I don't want to have to face all of them…….alone.”

Mikey cocked his head sideways at Leo. “alone? Who said you’re going alone? I’m coming with you.”

Le’s eyes widened. “Mikey……..no. I can't………I……..”

He broke off, struggling with the feelings of built and shame that welled up in his stomach as the memories of Mikey flinching away from him in fear flashed through his mind. But Mikey shifted, reaching back to grip Leo’s hand.

“Leo, listen to me. I’m coming with you. I don't care if you don't want me there, or if you’re afraid you’ll flip out again. I’m coming. And nothing you say will change that. Ok?”

Leo bit his lip. He wanted to protest. To say it was too dangerous. To tell Mikey that he wasn't even planning on going in the first place. Yet as he lay there looking into Mikey’s eyes he found his mood changed. Gently he squeezed Mikey's hand back.

“no matter what happens…….dont listen to them. no matter what horrible things they say……no matter how they treat you……I will always love you. Promise me you’ll never forget that.”

Mikey smiled and leaned in to nuzzle Leo’s neck.

“I promise. But you have to promise me that you’ll try to keep yourself under control. Freaking out at a hospital is one thing, but at a funeral……that would be much worse.”

Leo smiled sheepishly at Mikey who continued to nuzzle his neck. “ok I’ll try to keep myself under control……but for now I just wanna lay here and enjoy this, what we have right now.”

Mikey agreed by letting out a small churr, as he continued to nuzzle Leo’s neck and Leo slowly shifted so Mikey was half laying on top of him. after a moment Mikey pulled back and looked down at Leo who smiled up at him. “I love you Leo.”

Leo smiled and reached up, cupping Mikey’s cheek. “I love you too Mikey.”

Mikey’s lips were soft as they pressed against Leo’s; while Leo’s arms pulled their bodies in closer. Mikey groaned, enjoying the feeling of Leo’s lips against his own. He felt Leo’s hand move, gently circling his neck before coming to rest against the back of his head, pulling him deeper into the kiss. His nostrils flared inhaling as much of Leo’s scent as he could. He moved, crawling so he was straddling over Leo as they kissed. He could feel his body reacting, his heart starting to pump harder, while small trails of heat began to build up around his hips; a signal he was getting aroused. After a moment they broke apart, each of them gasping for air before crushing their lips together again.

“Leo………”

Leo’s response was to run his hand down Mikey’s chest, gently tugging at his shirt which made Mikey smile before leaning back and pulling his shirt off so Leo’s hands could roam his chest and stomach. He groaned as Leo’s hands rubbed and caressed his chest, sending small shivers of pleasure through him. Beneath him Leo spoke. “you’re so perfect.”

Mikey blushed slightly.

“no, no I’m not. but……thank you.”

But Leo shook his head.

“no….you are. Let me show you.”

A second later Mikey yelped comically as Leo spun their bodies so he was now straddling Mikey’s hips with Mikey under him.

“you are perfect Mikey……you’re skin is so soft…….”

As he spoke Leo leaned down to nuzzle and rub his face against Mikey’s neck and shoulders.

“and you taste…….”

Leo slowly drew his tongue along Mikey’s shoulder, making the smaller turtle moan and whimper as the hot muscle ran along his flesh.

“….delicious.”

he pulled back, looking down at Mikey who panted and looked up at him. His eyes silently pleading with Leo. Leo grinned and pressed in, running his hands down Mikey’s stomach, before slowly beginning to tug down his pajama pants.

“and I love how you feel when I press against you. It’s almost…….”

His hand pushed Mikey’s pants down, all the while making sure his arm rubbed against Mikey’s growing bulge making the young turtle whimper and moan his fingers coming up to grip Leo’s shell. He gasped again as Leo’s hand slowly shifted, coming to cup and rub against his slowly growing bulge. Leo grinned, enjoying the moans and whimpers that escaped Mikey’s lips as he pressed in harder, grinding his hand against Mikey’s bulge.

“You are perfect Mikey.”

As he spoke he ground his hand against Mikey’s bulge grinning as he felt Mikey’s body shudder as he cock finally emerged from its pouch only to be confined by his boxers. Mikey’s whimpers became more needful as Leo hooked his thumb under the elastic of Mikey’s boxers before tugging them down and off Mikey’s body.

“Leo……”

Leo grinned, enjoying the low churr that escaped Mikey’s lips as he wrapped his fingers around Mikey’s organ. Their lips crushed together, their tongues coming out to run inside the other’s mouth, enjoying the taste of the other. But their kiss was broke and Leo began to move, slowly pumping his hand up and down making Mikey’s had tilt back exposing his throat while a low rumbling churr escaped his lips. Leo leaned in, nuzzling Mikey’s neck occasionally licking the sensitive skin as his hand worked; pumping Mikey’s organ up and down enjoying the sounds he got in response. He felt Mikey’s grip on his shell tighten.

“L…..Leo……”

He sped up, pumping his hand a little faster, enjoying the moan that slipped past Mikey’s lips. Sweat was beginning to bead up on Mikey’s skin, giving it a salty taste as he rn his tongue alone Mikey’s shoulder and neck. Under him Mikey shuddered his legs twisting and curling in the sheets while his toes curled and uncurled with anxious energy. Leo’s pace was stead, never going slowly; spreading lances of pleasure through Mikey’s body. He started to pant, feeling Leo on top of him, it was driving him wild. He groaned, grinding his hips upwards against Leo’s hand enjoying how good it felt to be pressed tightly against Leo’s body. He felt Leo’s other hand shift, slowly working its way down to his hips before drawing small circles on his flesh. He gasped as Leo’s grip around his organ tightened, making him pant and grunt as his hips jerked forward humping again Leo’s hand. He groaned his head rolling back on his shoulders as the knot in his stomach became tighter and tighter. His hands searched for something to hold onto; finding Leo’s thighs, gripping them tightly as his head tilted further and further back.

“L….L…..Leo!”

A second later his climax rippled through his body. His grip on Leo’s thighs tightened, becoming almost pain. His hips bucked wildly humping against Leo’s hand as it continued to pump his organ up and down, milking it for every last drop his body would give. His heart pounded in his chest, as his mouth let out a chorus of moans and grunts while white hot pleasure bubbled and lashed at his insides. He clamped his eyes shut riding out each mind numbing wave as it battered his body making him shudder and moan. Each wave that washed through his body was amazing, making him cry out again and again making him loose track of time. Slowly the pleasure began to ebb away. the waves were getting smaller now, his heart was not beating so hard, his moans and gasps were not so loud. Suddenly his body felt drained. He swayed slightly opening his eyes to look down at Leo who was smiling up at him.

“Leo…….”

He groaned and Leo grippe his sides, slowly guiding him off the older turtle’s hips and onto he section of bed next to him. he groaned as Leo gently trailed kisses along his shoulder before following the curve of his neck, before kissing along his jaw line finally reaching his lips. Mikey groaned as Leo’s and his lips met, pressing together in a gentle kiss. He shifted, shuffling forward so he was pressed against Leo’s body as much as he could be.

“see? You’re perfect.”

Mikey grinned as Leo nuzzled his neck.

“ok…..I guess I am.”

 

 

LATER

 

 

They didn’t do much the rest of the day. They lounged around the hotel room, went to the hotel pool, even went for a small walk around the building; but they never left the property. As they occupied their time Mikey found himself watching Leo. Something was off with the older turtle. Yes he smiled and spoke with him as he normally did; but several times he caught Leo staring off into space, his eyes going blank until Mikey spoke to him or touched him. That night they ordered Chinese food and had it delivered to the hotel. The cuddled together as they ate, Mikey resting against Leo’s chest using Leo as a pillow while he ate. After dinner they cuddled up, watching tv until the sun had set and the sky had gone dark. At 9:30 Leo’s cellphone had wrung, when Leo had answered he voice had cracked slightly.

“H….hello?”

A moment later a familiar voice spoke back to him.

“hello Leo, it’s me; Henry Ranbot. I was just calling to let you know that the funeral is on schedule for tomorrow and will start at noon, before ending at 2. Afterwards those who are named in the will with gather and listen as I read it. does that work for you?”

Leo swallowed nervously but nodded, more to himself than anyone else.

“Y…yes.”

“very well. Then I shall see you tomorrow Leonardo. Goodnight.”

“goodnight.”

A moment later the line went dead. slowly Leo set his phone down before turning to Mikey. He wanted to smile at his boyfriend, to reassure the young turtle that everything was ok. That nothing else had happened. yet his face refused to smile instead coming out as a pained grimace.

“the funeral is gunna start at noon and end at 2. Then I’ll find out what my father left me.”

Mikey nodded and reached out, touching his hand.

“are you ok?”

Leo sighed and leaned back on the couch they were sitting on. In truth he was nervous. It had taken less than 5 minutes for his father’s mother to send him into a fit of rage he’d never felt before. now he’d have to spend 2 hours in the same place with the horrible woman, not to mention who knew how many other members of his father’s side of the family. Nervously he rubbed his arm before speaking.

“I….I’m nervous. I just…….I don't want to freak out again. I…….”

He looked at Mikey, looking into those perfect blue eyes.

“I don't want to get angry and scare you again. I…….I……I don't want to be like that again. I……I don't want to be a bad person.”

He felt his shoulders slump as he spoke, his mind recalling the look of fear that had filled Mikey’s face when he’d snarled and at him. he bit his lip trying to fight back the faint tears as the memory threatened to overwhelm him. he jerked, startled slightly as he felt Mikey move; touching his hand pulling it into his.

“I promise you; you’re not THAT person. You’re kind, loving, sweet, and gentle. Yesterday…….you got angry, it happens. But I promise you……you’re not a bad person.”

Leo leaned forward, gently resting his forehead against Mikey’s. Leo’s hands shook as he squeezed Mikey’s hand.

“I love you. I need you to know that. I need…..”

His words died in his throat as his body began to shake. His heart pounded in his chest while his skin felt itchy and hot. As if Mikey knew what he was feeling he reached out, gently cupping Leo’s check.

“Leo, take a deep breath.”

Doing as he was told Leo inhaled until his lungs felt like they were about to burst before slowly letting it go. Next to him Mikey gently nuzzled his neck.

“you don't need to be scared Leo. I know that you love me, and I know that I love you. Nothing that can happen will change that. So stop worrying. As for the funeral……..everytime you feel mad I want you to come and find me and I’ll calm you down. Ok?”

Leo nodded, gently wrapping his arms around Mikey’s shoulders.

“Ok……but how will you calm me down?”

Mikey smiled up at him.

“by giving you a big kiss and reminding you that nothing bad will happen.”

Leo smiled sheepishly.

“O…..ok.”

Silence drifted between them as they continued to nuzzle and cuddle with each other. Leo groaned as Mikey’s scent slowly filled his lungs and mind. That sweet scent relaxed him, made him feel at ease with the world around him. it brought a kind of clarity to his mind. There was no point in being stressed about tomorrow. He would go the funeral and he would do his best to keep calm. He would hear what his father had left him and then he would take Mikey and go back home. He’d rid himself of this place once and for all. From his spot against Leo’s check Mikey spoke.

“come on….it’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

Nodding in agreement Leo allowed Mikey to pull him up off the couch before moving over to the bed and sitting down on it before pulling off the clothes he’d worn all day. As he began to pull on a simple night shirt he found himself watching Mikey as he stripped off his clothes before kneeling to dig around in his suitcase for some clean clothes. As he finished pulling on his night shirt Mikey caught sight of Leo watching him.

“what?”

Leo shook his head before standing up. slowly he made his way over to Mikey before taking both of Mikey’s hands into his own.

“thank you.”

Mikey cocked his head.

“but I didn’t do anything.”

Leo shook his head.

“Yes you did. You knew just what to say and do to calm me down.”

Mikey smiled and him.

“I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to know these things.”

As he spoke Mikey slowly led Leo towards the bed before pulling back the covers and allowing Leo to climb in before joining him and covering them with the blankets. Reaching behind him Leo flicked off the light before returning his arms to Mikey’s body, pulling the younger turtle in closer so he could plant a kiss on Mikey’s forehead.

“Goodnight Mikey.”

For a moment Mikey wiggled, making himself more comfortable before settling himself.

“Goodnight Leo.”


	12. Chapter 12

Slowly he woke up, groaning as he shifted for the first time in hours. Slowly he opened his eyes, blinking to try and clear them of sleep.

“You’re……awake.”

Slowly his eyes adjusted to the dark room he was in. Donnie lay next to him, the purple turtle was laying on his side, gently tracing the plates on Raph's chest. Raph watched as Donnie’s eyes flicked up to look at him for a moment before looking away.

“I…..I wasn't sure…….if you’d stay.”

Raph watched as Donnie shifted nervously, his hand moving away from Raph's chest.

“I…..I…..”

Donnie’s words trailed off as he found himself drawn into Raph's green eyes. Raph watched as Donnie struggled with his words.

“I…….I hoped you’d stay.”

Raph moved, gently reaching forward to grip Donnie’s hand, noting that it was shaking.

“Donnie……..”

He watched as Donnie took a deep breath and started to speak.

“I…….I need this to work Raph. I…….I can't handle be alone again. Not after…..this. I…….I…….I need this.”

Raph shifted moving forward to comfort Donnie as the purple turtle began to shake, small tears leaking out of his eyes.

“shhhhhh. Donnie…….it’s ok.”

He pressed in closer, guiding Donnie's head to lean against his chest while his arms wrapped around the shaking turtle to comfort him. gently nuzzling Donnie’s neck.

“Donnie…….”

He sighed, doing his best to pick his words carefully. If he said the wrong thing the situation could get worse.

“Donnie…….I don't know how this will turn out. I don't know if we’ll stay together or if eventually we’ll go our separate ways……..but I’m willing to find out. But you have to do something for me. ok?”

Donnie shifted slowly looking up at him while he sniffed gently.

“W….what?”

Leaning down Raph gently kissed Donnie’s forehead.

“I need you enjoy yourself and not worry so much. If you live in fear……you can't enjoy life.”

Donnie looked at him for a moment before smiling weakly at him.

“O….ok.”

They lapsed into silence, gently cuddling and nuzzling each other. It felt good, much better then Raph had ever thought it would. He’d never imagined himself laying next to another man, holding him, touching him, kissing his skin; yet now……he wondered why he hadn’t done it sooner. On the other side of the room Donnie’s alarm clock began beeping for a moment, a sign that it was now a new hour. Next to him Donnie groaned and shifted, lifting his head up to look at the clock.

“it’s almost 9.”

Raph groaned, he had practice at 11.

“can I use your shower?”

Donnie nodded and slowly sat up, stretching and yawning as he did so. Raph did the same, his eyes roving over the curves of Donnie’s body. Gently he licked his lips…..last night……..he’d explored those curves. He’d touched them and held them, and ran his hands along Donnie’s body, examining every inch of it, memorizing how it felt. He bit his lip as Donnie moved, slowly picking up the clothes they’d discarded the night before.

“don't…..”

Donnie looked up at him, slightly confused.

“don't what?”

Raph moved, slowly getting out of the bed before pulling the clothes Donnie had gathered, out of his hand.

As Donnie protested he took another step forward pressing their bodies against each other making them both groan slightly. He leaned in nuzzling Donnie’s neck, inhaling the turtle’s scent.

“don't put on your clothes……stay like this.”

As he spoke Raph's hand gently circled Donnie’s waist, gently tugging at the silk boxers Donnie was wearing. He felt Donnie shift slightly, pressing their bodies a little closer together.

“B….But……”

He pressed in harder, gently grinding their bodies together. The moan Donnie let out was perfect. It sparked something inside him, something that demanded he claim Donnie again. Gently he reached up, his fingers brushing against Donnie’s lips. He leaned in, whispering huskily into Donnie’s ear.

“stay like this……and I’ll reward you after my shower.”

Donnie stiffened.

“Raph?”

Donnie’s scent was like crack to him. He buried his nose against Donnie’s neck inhaling the musky scent that it gave off. He opened his mouth, ghosting his teeth against Donnie’s neck, making Donnie gasp and whimper slightly. Pulling away slightly Raph grinned down at Donnie who’s face had gone bright red.

“ok?”

Donnie didn’t speak only nodding. Continuing to grin Raph leaned in capturing Donnie’s lips in a kiss while his hand slowly ghosted downwards brushing against the bulge in Donnie’s boxers, making Donnie gasp and groan.

“soon.”

He bit his lip as Donnie whimpered, the sound was almost enough to make him take Donnie right here and now. He nuzzled Donnie’s neck a moment longer before pulling away.

“I’m gunna go shower now.”

Donnie nodded, watching as Raph pulled away while tugging his boxers off so they landed on the floor before walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Donnie groaned, part of him desperately wanted to run after Raph and continue what they had been doing. Another part of him ached to know what Raph had in store for him. as he stood there, torn by what to do his stomach gave a loud rumble. Biting his lip he made up his mind. Slowly he left the bedroom, moving downstairs to begin making some food for him and Raph

 

RAPH’S POV

 

He groaned as the hot water ran down his skin and shell. He groaned resting his forehead against the cool plastic wall of the shower. His breathing was shallow, his nostril flaring with each breath. He could still smell traces of Donnie’s scent in his nose; and it drove him wild. He wanted Donnie. He wanted to hold him down and…….. He growled. No, Donnie would wait. He’d make the genius turtle ache for what was to come. He busied himself with the soap, lathering his skin before washing away the dirt. He worked slowly, making himself ache for what he was going to do to Donnie. By the time he shut off the water several minutes later he was almost beyond control. He was going to find Donnie…..and he was not going to be gentle. Stepping out of the shower he left the bathroom pausing just long enough to wrap a towel around his waist before leaving the bedroom and going down the stairs. Pausing at the bottom of the stairs he peeked around the corner, feeling a bit like a predator stalking his prey.

In the other room Donnie had his back to Raph, while he busied himself with making what smell like toast. As Raph had requested Donnie was wearing only his boxers and nothing else. Grinning to himself Raph moved, silently moving until he was behind Donnie before pushing the purple turtle forward slightly while pinning Donnie’s body between Raph's body and the counter. Donnie groaned, whimpering slightly as Raph's tongue came out to run along his neck.

“R….raph…..”

Raph growled, a signal that he was in charge, not Donnie. He shifted his hands slowly trailing down to Donnie’s hands; moving them and Donnie’s arms so he was stretched out over the counter.

“Don't move. I’m gunna enjoy this.”

Donnie’s only response was to whimper and nod his head. Licking Donnie’s neck again Raph moved his hands trailing them back up Donnie’s arms before continuing them upwards, tracing the muscles in Donnie’s shoulder, neck, cheek and then……

“suck.”

Despite the power he felt he could not help but groan as Donnie’s mouth opened, letting his fingers invade his mouth. he pressed in harder, grinding his hips against Donnie’s butt as he felt Donnie’s tongue lap and run along his fingers, getting them slimy with saliva. He groaned, he loved this feeling; Donnie being helpless before him. Last night had been nice, there was no denying that. They’d held each other, kissed, ground against each other……but they hadn’t had sex.

“Harder.”

Donnie responded, his tongue reaching further up Raph's fingers coating them is saliva. The kitchen slowly filling with small slurping and sucking sounds. Raph grinned, he could feel Donnie’s tail moving, wagging as Raph ground gently against Donnie’s butt; giving Raph a wicked idea.

Slowly he moved his free hand. Slowly trailing it down Donnie’s back and shell, before slipping his hand under Donnie’s boxers and….

“HMPF!”

Raph grinned as his fingers wrapped tightly around the base of Donnie’s tail, giving it a gentle squeeze. He felt the shudder roll through Donnie’s body making a moan slip past Raph's fingers. He worked, slowly rubbing his thumb against the base of Donnie’s tail, making the purple turtle continues to moan and quiver.

“enough.”

He withdrew his fingers, pulling them out of Donnie’s mouth; noting that Donnie let out a low whimper. He pressed in, turning Donnie’s head so their lips could meet. His tongue lulled out, pushing into Donnie’s mouth. Claiming it for himself. He moved, shifting his slickened fingers down towards Donnie’s tail. He felt Donnie stiffen as his slickened fingers brushed against his entrance. He shifted, keeping Donnie’s body pinned against the counter while he began applying pressure until…..

“NNNNNAAAAAA!”

Donnie broke the kiss, his head tilting back as he felt Raph's finger slick inside him. He bit his lip, silently shaking his head. It felt weird, slimy and cold; but at the same time he loved every second of it. he groaned, feeling Raph lean in to nuzzle his neck while his finger gently began to move, shifting around inside Donnie until……

“AHHHHH!”

Donnie’s eyes flew wide open, his entire body shuddered as Raph's fingers ghosted over the bundle of nerves deep inside him. He whimpered feeling Raph fun his finger over the spot again.

“R….rap-”

But his words were cut off as Raph crushed their lips together, his tongue pushing into Donnie’s mouth making his shudder and groan. It felt SO good. Being pinned between Raph's perfect body and the counter, being completely at Raph's mercy. It felt SO good. His grip on the counter edge tightened as again Raph touched the spot, making his toes curl. As Raph pulled away from the kiss he watched Donnie’s face. The purple turtle’s eyes were closed and his tongue hung out of his mouth. a gently moan escaped Donnie’s mouth as Raph again brushed against the spot.

“R….Raph…..please…..”

He groaned, leaning in to nuzzle Donnie’s neck.

“Please….what?”

He watched as Donnie’s face went a little red. Grinning he ran his tongue along Donnie’s neck; enjoying the small whimper that Donnie gave off.

“What is it you want?”

As he spoke Raph pressed in deeper, grinding his finger against the spot; making Donnie’s entire body shudder as he gasped for breath.

“Raph……”

He pressed in harder, enjoying the feeling of power he held over Donnie right then.

“Say it Donnie……tell me what you want.”

He could feel Donnie’s legs shaking, his toes curling and uncurling as he gasped for air.

“please……..I need it.”

Raph growled, again running his tongue along Donnie’s neck, enjoying the shudder it got him.

“What do you want Donnie? Say it.”

Whe Donnie only whimpered Raph growled a bit more forcefully. Leaning in he bit down on Donnie’s neck, not hard but enough to make Donnie gasp; his head tilting back exposing more of his neck to Raph.

“FUCK ME!”

Donnie’s voice was high pitched but desperate. He needed this so badly it almost hurt. He groaned and whimpered as he felt Raph's finger withdraw from his body.

“Donnie……”

Their lips met again, this kiss slightly less desperate as the ones before it. Pulling away from the kiss Raph reached down pushing his boxers down to the floor before pulling Donnie’s off his body. Slowly positioning himself he had a moment of hesitation. He didn’t have any lube and he didn’t want to hurt Donnie. Under him Donnie whimpered needily.

“Donnie……we don't have any lube.”

Donnie groaned, slowly spinning around to face Raph. Raph growled, leaning forward to crush their lips together again. his tongue invaded Donnie’s mouth, claiming every inch of it before pulling away from Donnie.

“we still…..”

Raph broke off slightly as Donnie shifted, spinning them around so Raph was pressed against the counter. He leaned in, kissing Raph's chin and jaw line before slowly getting to his knees, kissing his way down Raph's neck, chest, hips, and thighs; loving the feeling of Raph shivering at the attention.

“Donnie….what are you…..AHHHHH!”

Raph's head snapped back, his mouth opening letting out a loud moan as Donnie’s lips wrapped around Raph's member. Raph shuddered, his legs wobbling slightly as his Donnie pulled his member deeper and deeper into his mouth. Raph's tongue lulled out of his mouth as he felt Donnie’s tongue run along his length coating it in saliva, before pulling back to look up at Raph, letting out a low whimper as he stood up. Raph groaned, pulling Donnie’s body against his, running his hands along Donnie’s hips and sides; making Donnie squirm and groan.

“raph……I need it….”

Raph grinned, spinning them so once again Donnie was pressed between him and the counter. His hands shifted downward, gripping Donnie’s hips, moving to lift him off the floor before setting his down on the counter. He pressed in, pushing Donnie’s body back while Donnie’s legs wrapped around his hips; sending a small jolt of lightning through his body as Raph's organ brushed against his entrance making him gasp. His arms tightened around Raph's neck, holding the bigger turtle tightly in his arms as Raph maneuvered himself against Donnie’s entrance.

“ready?”

Donnie nodded, burning his nose against Raph neck, inhaling Raph's strong musky send as the larger turtle began to move. He pushed his nose harder against Raph's neck letting out a gasping moan as he felt Raph slip inside him. A churr erupted from his throat as he felt Raph slip deeper and deeper into him, his grip tightening around Raph's neck until Raph was completely buried inside him. Donnie groaned as Raph kissed his neck, sucking at the sensitive flesh, before running his tongue along it.

“you feel…….SO good Donnie.”

Donnie only groaned, trying to adjust to the feeling of having Raph buried inside him. he panted and groaned as he felt his muscles tense around Raph’s organ, making the red turtle groan and sift in a little closer. Donnie hissed as he felt his muscles tighten at Raph's movement. No matter how badly he wanted this there was some amount of discomfort at first. He clung to raph, shivering and groaning as Raph kissed and nuzzled him; giving him time to relax and become accustomed to the feeling. Slowly the feelings of discomfort began to lessen. He no longer felt internal pain when he inhaled; instead a feeling of warmth began to spread through his body. He shifted, leaning forward to kiss Raph's lips, enjoying the feeling of Raph's lips against his.

“are you ok?”

The words were soft, gentle, and slightly unsure. Donnie nodded, gently kissing Raph's jaw.

“yeah…….i’m ok. You can…..”

But Donnie’s words faded as he groaned, feeling Raph withdraw slightly before pushing himself back in. another churr erupted from Donnie’s throat, soon met by a churr from Raph as they fell into a rhythm. Raph growled, his movements becoming stronger as Donnie’s grip became less pained. Their churrs shook the air, as they ground together; the pleasure beginning to build in both their bodies. Donnie began to pant, something that drove Raph wild. He crushed them lips together, his tongue invading Donnie’s mouth to claim it as his own; breaking apart only when the need for air made his lungs burn and ache.

“R…..Raph…….!”

The sound of Donnie saying his name egged him on. He gripped Donnie’s hips harder, pounding in and out of Donnie, making the purple turtle whimper and groan as he continued to cling to Raph's body. He felt Donnie bury his face against Raph's neck, groaning and whimpering as the pleasure continued to build in his body.

“god……Donnie…..so…..go-”

But the rest of Raph's words were cut off as next to them an electronic sound cut through their moment. Raph growled. He’d left his phone down here, not wanting it to interrupt the time he’d spent with Donnie the night before. letting go of Donnie’s hips Raph's hands fumbled as they searched for the devise before finding it, and tapping the screen. A second later he growled in anger as he found Harmony was the one who was interrupting him. He buried his nose against Donnie’s neck, running his tongue along the skin as he tapped the IGNORE button before tossing his phone away from them.

“who…..was……AHHHHH!”

Donnie’s entire body shook and trembled as Raph gripped his hips harder and withdrew before slamming himself back in. his grip on Raph's neck tightened, as the red turtle pounded in and out of him with renewed vigor. The pleasure was growing now, becoming hotter and hotter Each time Raph thrust into him. Both their bodies were drenched in a mixture of theirs and the other’s sweat while their churrs shook the air around them. Raph's felt like he was melting, Donnie’s body felt hot in his hands as he slammed in and out of him. his tongue came to hang out of his mouth as he sped up, his face turning a slight shade of red at the slapping sound their bodies made when they connected.

“god….donnie……so good.”

His hand shifted, finding Donnie’s own erect member before beginning to pump it making Donnie’s grip on his neck tighten.

“No…Raph……..don’t……it’s…..too MUCH!”

All at once Donnie’s body went ridged. His head snapped back as he clamped his eyes shut, doing his best to hold back the white hot pleasure that clawed and tore at his insides. He could feel Raph kissing and licking his neck. A second later an echoing moan sprang from his mouth as his orgasm crashed into him. He tightened his grip on Raph’s body pulling them as close together as he could, feeling Raph give him one final thrust before burying himself as he deep as he could inside Donnie’s body. He opened his mouth to moan again only to have Raph cut it off, crushing their lips together as their tongues wrestled with the other’s for several moments. He could feel it, Raph’s organ puling and throbbing deep inside him.

“D….Donnie!”

He shuddered as the pleasure continued to flow through his body, making his heart pound almost painfully against his chest. His nostrils flared taking in the musky sweaty smell Raph was letting off. It was wonderful, it lit a fire in his gut that made him never want to let Raph go. Slowly the pleasure was diminishing now. His churr turned into a grown as he leaned forward, resting his forehead against Raph's shoulder as Raph rode out the last of his own orgasm. All at once the room felt hot, making him pant and he felt Raph groan and lean in, nuzzling his neck for a moment before slowly withdrawing from his body.

==========================================================================================================================================================================

 

Raph groaned as he continued to nuzzle Donnie’s neck. In front of him Donnie panted, trying to regain his breath. After several moments he looked up at Raph a look of uncertainty covering his face.

“Raph……..I……”

Donnie’s voice faded as he bit his lip. In front of him Raph leaned in, nuzzling his neck; his tongue gently flicking across the skin.

“what is it Donnie…….tell me.”

Donnie took a deep breath before forcing himself to speak.

“I……I need to tell you something……but…….but I don't want it to scare you away…….I……I…..”

He watched as Raph pulled back to look at him. He was so perfect. Everything about Raph made Donnie’s heart flutter.

“I…….I really like you Raph…….A LOT.”

In front of him Raph smiled for a moment before moving; his hands coming up to cup Donnie’s face before their lips met in a gentle kiss. A moment later he pulled away, smiling slightly as he found Donnie was looking at him; his mouth still hanging open slightly from the kiss.

“I like you too Donnie.”

A moment later they were kissing again.

 

HARMONY’S POV

 

Karai’s eyes were wide as she listened to the sounds coming through her phone. This had to be a joke, Raph had to be pranking her. It had to be payback for rushing off after they’d fucked the day before. yet……the moans had been to real, to convincing. It wasn't a prank…..it was real. The moans were real, the voices were real…..the sound of Raph's orgasm that was real. She remained frozen where she stood, listening to the sound of Raph and his partner panting and gasping. Slowly Karai moved, her finger coming up to click the END CALL button only to freeze as Raph's voice met her ears.

“what is it Donnie……tell me.”

A second later a voice she didn’t recognize met her ears; a male voice.

“…….I really like you Raph…….A LOT.”

Karai’s brain struggled to comprehend what she was hearing. It couldn't be true; it just COULDN’T. She was an expert at readying people. She knew how to spot when someone was hiding something. Yes Raph had been hiding something……but this……never……not once in a million years would she had guessed that was what Raph was hiding; that Raph……was….gay.

“I like you too Donnie.”  
A second later her finger hit the button ending the call.


	13. Chapter 13

Mikey watched as next to him Leo turned off the car. Leo’s entire body told Mikey that he didn’t want to be here. His eyes were downcast, his shoulders were slumped forward and his movements were slow as he turned to look out the window at the large church that the funeral was being held in. moving slowly, Mikey reached out to touch Leo’s arm, making Leo turn to look at him.

“hey……are you ok?”

Leo was silent for several moments before speaking.

“when I was a kind my mother used to tell me……..she wasn't very religious. She told me that the bible was a story; and that each person who read it could draw their own conclusions about it. she…….she had a favorite line; Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

Leo broke off as small tears began to form in his eyes. But he forced them back, wiping them away before continuing.

“I……I hope she’s proud of me….and who I’ve become.”

Mikey gently squeezed his hand.

“she is. I know it.”

Leo smiled weakly at him.

“I hope so. Ok…….come one let’s get this over with.”

Giving Leo a small nod Mikey got out of the car and jogged around until he was standing beside Leo, before reaching out and wrapping his fingers around Leo’s. Leo looked down at him and smiled.

“this will really piss of Minerva.”

Mikey grinned mischievously.

“that’s the idea.”

Leo grinned back at Mikey before turning and walking towards the church. Pulling open the front doors Leo smiled as best he could as he found that a small table had been set up just inside; behind the table sat Minerva who’s her lips became a tight line as he walked up to the table to sign the small registery book that had been set out.

“hello Minerva.”

Minerva didn’t speak for a moment as her eyes narrowed on Leo’s and Mikey’s hands which were still connected.

“how dare-”

But Leo cut her off, his voice kind but firm.

“oh just shut up Minerva. Look, after this funeral is over I’m never come back here. So you’ll never see me again. so please……for the next 2 or 3 hours can't we at least act civil towards each other?”

Minerva fell silent for several moments before speaking.

“just stay away from me when it starts.”

And with that she stormed off into the main area of the church leaving Leo and Mikey alone together. As she walked away Leo smiled.

“that felt good. Come on, let’s see if any of my nice relatives are here.”

Squeezing Leo’s hand Mikey allowed himself to be led through the front room and into the chapel area of the church which was filled with 30 or so people who all turned to look at them as the doors closed behind them. Scanning the crowd Leo smiled as he immediately noticed the female turtle waving frantically at him. Moving through the room Leo spoke as he and Mikey got closer to his cousin.

“Venus. It’s good to see you again.”

Letting go of Mikey’s hand Leo pulled his cousin into a tight hug for a moment before pulling away, his hand going back to find Mikey’s.

“Venus. This is Mikey my boyfriend. Mikey this is Venus De Milo, my cousin on my mother’s side……twice removed……..i think.”

Venus shrugged but smiled at Mikey who smiled back.

“it’s nice to meet you Mikey.”

Mikey nodded.

“Nice to meet you too Venus.”

Venus continued to smile at Mikey for another moment before speaking to Mikey.

“how did Minerva react to you brining Mikey here?”

Leo shrugged.

“we’re gunna try to be civil towards each other during the funeral. We’ll see if it really happens.”

Venus nodded slowly.

“it’s better than I expected. She’s told most of the family how you…”

As she spoke her voice became overly dramatic.

“How you maliciously and viciously assaulter her and her son at the hospital before attacking the guard who came to her defense.”

Leo groaned and rolled his eyes.

“bet that went over great with everyone.”

Venus shrugged.

“actually it’s split down the middle. Half the family believes her while the other half knows that she goes out of her way to piss you off and pick fights. Don't worry, you’ve got some friends here.”

Leo smiled weakly.

“thanks Venus.”

Venus smiled and nodded.

“Don’t worry about it. oh hey, aunt Aggy is calling me over. I’ll talk to you later ok Leo?”

Leo nodded and watched as Venus vanished into the crowd, leaving him and Mikey alone. Looking back to Mikey Leo smiled again and felt Mikey squeeze his hand. For a while they milled through the crowd. Most of the people paid them no attention, while some of them told Leo how sorry they were for his loss. As they spoke their eyes would flicker towards Leo and Mikey’s hands which remained connected. At their point they would change, either smiling at Mikey or glaring at him. Turning away from a silver fox who had smiled at them Leo grinned as he spotted a pair of tall white ears bobbing above the crowd.

“Usagi.”

The white bunny turned and smiled at them as they moved closer.

“Hello Leo. I wasn't sure if you’d come or not.”

Leo smiled and nodded.

“I wasn't sure if I’d come either but……I guess my dad left me something in his will, and I have to be here to claim it.”

Usagi nodded before looking at Mikey and smiling.

“you and I were never really introduced before. I’m Usagi. I went to school with Leo and now I work at the hospital.”

Mikey smiled at Usagi who smiled back, before turning to Leo.

“So……how are you coping?”

Leo sighed and shrugged. “I’m ok……I guess. I’m at a funeral where half the people here hate my guts, and all so I can claim some inheritance that will probably make me feel like crap from a man who despised me with every fiber of his being. All things considered……I’m ok.”

Leo watched as Usagi frowned before turning to look at Mikey.

“Michelangelo would you mind if Leo and I went to talk outside in private? I’m sure Venus would love to chat with you without lo being around.”

As if she’d heard her name Venus emerged from the crowd of people.

“Oh yes I’d love to chat more with Mikey.”

Looking to Mikey Leo smiled.

“We’ll just be outside if you need me. ok?”

Mikey nodded and let go of Leo’s hand allowing usago to lead Leo out of the chapel, through the front room and outside before turning and marching him along the wall of the church until they were out of sight and earshot of everyone. Only then did Usagi let go of Leo’s arm and turn to face him; his face creased in a frown.

“Leo you know I’m your friend right?”

Leo nodded, slightly unsure of why Usagi had practically dragged him from the church.

“Yes, we’re friend……why?”

In front of his Usagi sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Sometimes friends help a person by being kind and love. And sometime…..” Usagi’s eyes opened and shown with anger in them. “…..Friends help others by being an asshole and forcing their friends to see the truth.”

Leo cocked his head to the side.

“what? Usagi that makes no-”

But Usagi cut him off.

“do you know the condition your father was in when he arrived at the hospital?”

Leo shook his head. It was true, he’d never bothered to ask. Frankly he didn’t care all that much. In front of his Usagi seemed to guess his anger as he let out a slow angry sigh before speaking.

“when your father arrived at the hospital he was delirious, talking to himself; he had no idea where he was, or what was going on.”

Usagi fixed Leo with a glare that made Leo feel oddly cold. As though Usagi had stopped being his friend and was now an enemy.

“your father was confused. It’s not uncommon in victims of a stroke.”

Leo opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Usagi who continued.

“he seemed to think that you were getting ready to leave for college.”

Leo’s mouth closed as his eyes widened. Usagi continued.

“he kept talking to you like he thought you were there in the room with him. he was begging for you stay here. He kept saying, ‘please don't leave me. I’ll be all alone’. He begged you not to leave him alone with his failures.”

Leo felt his heart clench as the image of his father crying appeared in his head. His father had hardly ever cried. The only time he’d ever actually seen tears fall from his dad’s eyes had been at his mother’s funeral; when his father’s face had been filled with tears.

“he kept saying over and over about how he was sorry. How he never meant to hurt you. How he knew you were telling the truth but didn’t know what to do about it.”

Again Leo’s heart clench. His father had…….believed him?

“he said he’d give you some time to cool down and then he’d call you. You’d both talk things out and things would go back to how they had been……. He…….”

Usagi’s voice quivered slightly as he continued to speak.

“he kept saying how……..how you’d be a family again. how everything would go back to normal and you wouldn’t hate him anymore.”

Again Leo felt his heart clench painfully. In front of him Usagi took a deep breath before continuing to speak, his voice containing a sharp bite of anger in it.

“Obviously from how you talk about him that never happened. I can't help but wonder…….whose fault is that? Did you ever give your father a chance to say he was sorry? Or did you cut him out of your life without ever giving him a chance to apologize or explain himself?”

Leo opened his mouth to speak, only to close it a moment later. He felt sick. Inside his chest the feeling of guilt and pain wriggled through his heart like a gnarled root. Without realizing it his shell touched the wall of the church as his mouth continued to open and close. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, each one of them clawing at his braining demanding he pay attention to it first. Guilt, anger, sadness, and pain; all of them whirled around his mind making him feel sick. In front of him Usagi continued to speak.

“you were mad at your father. I get it. BELEIVE me, I understand. But you’ve allowed your anger to take over. You allowed it to cloud your mind and to push out every happy memory and thought until all you had left of your father was that anger. It’s like a poison Leo, it infects and consumers a person until there is nothing left but the twisted skeletal remains of what it’s killed.”

Tears were trickling down his face now. Leo staggered back, his full weight resting against his shell as he did his best to keep himself from sobbing uncontrollably as Usagi’s words only added to his guilt. It was true, all of it, everything Usagi had said was the truth.

“I won’t lie and say your father was a saint. He wasn't. He was a bastard but……..can’t you forgive him? Can't you let go of the pain he caused you? It has to be better than….this. It has to be better then continuing to carry around this hatred that has been slowly eating away at you for the last 20 years. He’s dead Leo…….you’re father is dead. Can't you let him rest in peace? Do you really have to keep hating him?”

His entire body was shaking now as silent sobs made him bury his face in his knees. He felt ice cold. Like someone had thrown him into a pool of ice water and was holding him under while he suffocated. Usagi’s words were true. He struggled to find a good memory of his father. Tried to recall a time when he hadn’t hated his father. He knew those times had existed, knew that once he’d loved his father almost as much as his mother. And yet despite his effort he couldn't find those memories. All he could find was hollow anger and regret. To his right Mikey’s voice spoke.

“L…..Leo?”

He felt Mikey move, kneeling down next to him. concern etched in every feature in Mikey’s young face.

“Leo….what’s wrong?”

In front of them Usagi spoke.

“he just got some news that is upsetting to him. he’ll be ok.”

As Usagi began to walk away Leo found his voice for a moment.

“why……why do you care?”

Usagi stopped before slowly turning back to face him, a sad look covering his face.

“Because…….I was your first Leo. And I can't stand to see what you’ve become. You’ve changed since that night…….and I don't like what you’ve become. But I can still see who you used to be. I can still see past all your anger, and instead see YOU. And that is the person this world needs, not the anger. Leo……let it go. Let your father rest in peace.”

As Usagi walked away Mikey wrapped his arms around Leo’s shoulders. He’d had enough of his own emotional meltdowns to know that Leo was about to go through hell. Leo’s entire body shook as the sobs he’d been holding back finally broke free. He struggled to breathe, his lungs refusing to fill with air completely before violently exhaling as he sobbed. All sense of dignity vanished as he buried his face against Mikey’s chest. His sides heaved and shook as h cried, tears trickling down his face before falling onto Mikey’s shirt. It was true, all of it. Unbidden, unwelcome in his mind came the memories of a few months after he’d started school. for almost a month his father had called him every day at the same time.

“no….no….no…..”

His sobbing became stronger as he remembered the fury that had bubbled in his stomach when he’d find that his father had left a message for him; a message he deleted every time without listening to it.

“oh god……”

He clamped his eyes shut as tight as he could, willing the mental image of his father sitting alone in the house, trying to call him everyday only to be ignored; to go away..

“no…..i’m sorry. Oh god……I’m sorry……….”

Next to him Mikey did his best to comfort him, rubbing his neck and shell while gently rocking him back and forth.

“shhhhh, it’s ok. Just breathe. It’s ok.”

But he continued to cry. It wasn't ok. He’d done this. He’d robbed his father of the chance to explain himself. He’d allowed his anger to take over, allowed it to poison his mind. Yes he’d been mad with his father, but…….he’d never meant to HURT his father. He tired to breathe, sobbing uncontrollably as his sides shook and heaved.

 

“I’m sorry…….i’m sorry……”

He repeated those words over and over again, willing his father to understand how true they were. His heart clenched painfully as he sobbed. He did care if anyone heard or saw them. right now he didn’t care what anyone would say if they saw him sobbing hysterically like a child. Next to him Mikey continued to sooth him, rubbing his neck and shell while speaking to him.

“it’s ok…….it’s ok…..”

His body had begun to go numb from the force of his sobs. After several minutes the tears no longer flowed down his face. Struggling to take a deep breath Leo pulled back and looked at Mikey who looked at him, uncertainly.

“Leo……”

He moved forward wrapping his arms around Mikey’s shoulder, pulling him into a hug.

“Leo….what’s wrong?”

Struggling to take another breath Leo spoke, burying his face against Mikey’s neck.

“I love you. I love you so much……. I……..I…….”

His body continued to shake as he repeated those words to Mikey while his arms squeezed Mikey’s body tightly, feeling the young turtle hugging him back. After several minutes he pulled away, forcing himself to take a much deeper breath then he had been; inhaling until his lung ached before slowly exhaling. In front of him Mikey gently squeezed his hand.

“Leo…..are you ok? What happened?”

Sniffing, Leo reached up and wiped away the last few tears that clung to his face.

“I……..I just realized how badly I’ve treated my father.”

Mikey nodded, moving to sit next to Leo and lean against the church.

“are you ok now?”

Sniffing again Leo shrugged.

“I don't know………I just………”

He took another shuddering breath, his head leaning back to res against the cold stone of the church.

“I was so mad at him…….for so long…….I HATED him. But………”

Leo groaned as he closed his eyes. Why had he been so cruel towards his father? Next to him Mikey shifted, reaching out to touch and squeeze his hand gently. He moved, tilting his head to look at Mikey who smiled weakly at him.

“I…….I never gave him a chance. I just………stayed mad at him. I cut him out of my life…….without ever really telling him how I felt. I just……..”

He broke off as a few more tears trickled down his face. he pulled his knees against his chest, letting out a whimper as he did so.

“I’m sorry…….”

He whispered the words. Feeling ashamed of himself for how he had acted. Next to him Mikey squeezed his hand again. Sniffing loudly Leo took another deep breath before speaking again.

“I……….I’m sorry I keep dragging you into stuff like this. My family problems shouldn’t have to affect you this much. I’m sorry.”

Next to him Mikey giggled and squeezed his hand again.

“Leo…….I’m your boyfriend. Your problems and burdens are mine too. Also, it’s not like you were completely unaffected by my past. If nothing else this makes us even. Ok?”

A small smiled spread across Leo’s face.

“ok Mikey…….ok.”

A small breeze picked up around them, kicking up the fallen leaves; making them dance and twirl in the air before falling back down to the ground only to be swept up again. After several moments of watching the leaves Mikey spoke.

“Ready to go back inside now?”

Leo sighed and nodded, before standing up; turning too Mikey to help him up too before moving to hold the door open for Mikey. Moving back into the church Leo and Mikey moved back into the chapel just in time for the minister to call for everyone to sit down. Quickly taking their seats Leo reached over and gripped Mikey’s hand, giving it a small squeeze as the minister began to speak about life and death. Slowly Leo’s mind wandered as the minster continued to speak. Slowly his eyes drifted sideways to look at Mikey who sat next to him. He’d never expected to find someone to love. He’d never expected to find someone who could understand what he’d gone through and still care for him. Yet he’d found someone; Mikey understood him, and cared for him on a deeper level than anyone else Leo had ever met. Mikey was everything he’d hoped to find but never thought he would.

He watched as Mikey’s eyes flicked sideways, connecting with his as he found Leo was looking at him. Gently Mikey squeezed Leo’s hand while smiling at Leo who felt his heart flutter slightly. Gently he squeezed Mikey’s hand back. Vaguely he wondered if Mikey’s heart fluttered like his had. Mikey turned to look at him, gently squeezing his hand again. A moment later Mikey mouthed to him; his lips moving but no sounds coming from them.

“I love you”

Again Leo squeezed his hand before mouthing back.

“I love you too.”

The minister spoke for several more minutes, talking at length about how ‘god has a plan for all of us’. Afterwards he talked shortly about when the burial would take place, before stepping aside and allowing a short badger to step up to the microphone and speak.

“hello everyone. My name is Henry and I’m in charge or the reading of the will. Those of who you have been contacted would you please follow me?”

Turning to smile at Mikey Leo leaned in and gave Mikey a small kiss on the cheek before speaking.

“wait here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Mikey smiled and nodded.

“Ok.”

Giving Mikey another kiss, Leo stood up and followed the small group of people out of the chapel and into a smaller meeting room to the left of the front room. Taking a seat next to Venus Leo smiled at his cousin who smiled back before turning their attention towards Henry who dug around in his pocket for a moment before producing a pair of glasses.

“now then, I shall be recording the reading of the will for legal reasons. Does anyone object to this?”

a small murmur of ‘no’ swept through the room. Smiling at them Henry reached down and pull a suitcase out from under a table before setting it down and opening it, before pulling out a small recorder and starting it.

“now then; the will is as follows……..”

Leo didn’t py to much attention to the list that Henry read off. He didn’t really care what his father did with his will; although he did smile at Venus when she was given several handmade quilts that his mother had knitted. Smiling at Venus he knew the quilts could not have been going to a better home.

“And to my son Leonardo…..”

Leo sat a little bit straighter as he turned to look at Henry. He watched as Henry looked at him for a moment before continuing.

“I leave to my son Leonardo, 4 things. The first two items of which are a letter and an album.”

As he spoke Henry’s free hand dipped down into the suitcase in front of him before producing a large red leather bound tome with a white envelope sitting on top. As Henry handed the items to Leo, Leo could not help but bit his lip as he found Minerva was smirking at him. But he ignored her, putting the envelope to the side before opening the album and…….. he felt his eyes widen as they roved over the pictures inside. in the glossy photos his mother looked up at him, smiling and grinning. He felt his hands shake as he slowly reached out, running his fingers along the laminated photos. Flipping the page Leo felt his eyes widen a bit more as he found a small note had been scribbled next to a picture. SARAH IS PREGNANT; 1 WEEK. Flipping through a few more pages he found that every so often there would be another note, detailing how far along in her pregnancy his mother was. He felt his eyes begin to water as he looked at his mother’s face. in each photograph she smiled, happiness making her seem to glow. From his spot in front of them Henry cleared his throat, politly pulling Leo’s attention back to him. Closing the album Leo took a moment compose himself before speaking.

“th….thank you.”

Henry smiled at him before looking back down at the will before speaking again. “the 3rd things I leave to my son Leonardo is a box, that I have entrusted to Henry.”

Looking at Leo Henry spoke.

“the box your father is referring to is in my car. When we’re done here, I’ll give it to you. Ok?”

As Leo nodded, Minerva spoke from behind him, her voice showing a hint of suspicion.

“and just what is in this box, that none of us get to see?”

In front of them Henry shrugged, a slightly thoughtful look coming over his face as he turned to Minerva.

“I don't know. Your son brought it to me almost……20 years ago and asked me to put it in a place where no one would ever find it. So it’s been in my cellar since then. I’ve never looked inside it, so I have no idea what’s in it. Now……”

Looking back to the will Leo, notted that Henry smiled slightly before continuing to read.

“the fourth and final thing I give to me only son is…….my house.”

Leo’s eyes widened again, while behind him Minerva spoke, he voice filled with anger.

“WHAT?! HE GETS THE HOUSE?! HE NEVER CAME TO VISIT OR EVEN CALLED! WHY DOES HE GET IT?!”

Henry shrugged and shook his head.

“I don't know why your son chose to leave the house to Leo, but I can tell you it’s the only part of the will that never changed. The house was always going to go to Leo. And the house was completely in your son’s name so you have no legal claim or right to dispute it. the house belongs to Leo, and he may do anything he wants with it.”

Leo sat there stunned. He’d never expected to get anything from his father, let alone the house he’d grown up in and then done his best to run away from. He was dimly aware that Minerva was still speaking, demanding answers to why h was getting the house. but he didn’t care. He couldn’t think straight. Slowly his eyes drifted down towards the letter which he’d set aside. His hands shook slightly as he reached for the white envelope. Slowly he tore the envelope open, before pulling out the folded sheet of paper from within. He swallowed, his throat feeling very dry as he opened the folded paper and began to read the letter his father had written him. he felt his heart clench painfully as he found several parts of the paper were warped from water; and although he had no way of knowing for certain, he somehow knew the water had been from the tears his father had cried as he'd written the letter.

 

Dear Leo,

If you’re reading this, then I’ve passed away and you came to my funeral. Thank you.

I know you hate me, and I have no one to blame for that but myself. I know I was a bastard and an asshole to you, and I’m truly sorry. I know that’s not nearly enough but it’s all I can do. I’m so sorry. I never should have doubted you or acted how I did. I know nothing I say will make up for the things that have happened between us. But, I feel that at the very least I owe you an explanation as to why I acted the way I did. When your mother died…

 

Leo felt himself inhaling sharply. Behind him Minerva was still speaking, still demanding answers that were pointless now. Leo’s eyes continued to scan the letter, taking in every letter and word his father his written for him; noting that the paper was becoming more warped as his father had cried more.

 

When your mother died it felt like she took a part of me with her. Waking up every day I felt as though there was a knife in my heart because she wasn't there with me. I missed her so much; and worst of all I pushed you away because you reminded me so much of her. Her smile, warmth, caring all of it got passed on to you. Whenever I would look at you I’d be reminded that I would never see her face again, never hear her laugh, or hold her in my arms and that pain was more than I could bare.

Nothing I say can make up for the pain I’ve cause you or my failure to protect you from this world. But I pray that at the very least you have found someone who you care for as much as I loved your mother. So long as you have found that, I don't care if you continue to hate me. but I beg you; don't let your anger at me blind you to the worlds around you. There is happiness, there is love, and there are those who will love you no matter what.

 

His father’s handwriting became a little sloppier, no doubt because his hand had begun to shake.

 

I love you so much Leonardo. And I have always been proud of you, even if I didn’t ever show it. You are my son, and I want nothing but the best for you.

I can only hope that you believe me when I say that.

 

Your father

 

 

Leo closed his eyes willing himself not to cry. Inside him he felt guilt, pain, and shame well up in his stomach as he remembered how badly he’d treated his father. Behind him Minerva was still speaking; either oblivious or simply not caring about his emotion state at the moment. Takin a deep breath Leo opened his eyes and spoke sharply.

“Minerva, SHUT UP.”

Instantly her voice died as Leo turned to look at her. Taking another breath Leo spoke again.

“Just stop. I’m so sick and tired of listening to you blather on. Just stop talking. This is not the place or time for this, so just………”

His voice trailed off as a small wave of tremors shook his body for a moment.

“he’s dead Minerva…….your son……my father….is dead. can't we just set aside all this anger and hatred…..at least for today?”

Minerva opened her mouth to peak but fell silent as all eyes in the room turned to look at her. Leo watched as her shoulders slumped and she bowed her head to look at the floor, her voice less than a whisper.

“fine.”

Taking a deep breath Leo turned back to Henry who was smiling at him.

“now that I have read the will you’re all free to leave. Leo if you would come with me I’ll help you move the box from my car to yours.”

Nodding Leo watched as everyone else filed out of the room; Venus paused for a moment, saying she would go and keep Mikey company while Leo and Henry finished up. he smiled at her, thanking her for her help. Once everyone was gone Henry and Leo stood up before leaving the room and going out into the parking lot. As they walked Henry spoke.

“there is something I did not tell you about this box Leo. When your father brought it to me…..he was sobbing uncontrollably. He made me promise to never open it, and that if anyone ever came around asking for it or about it; I was to burn the box without hesitation. ”

Leo raised an eyebrow.

“Why would he do that?”

Henry shook his head.

“I don't know, but I can tell you this. I’ve known your father for most of his life. Because of this I can tell you with 100% certainty that….”

They stopped talking for a moment as they got to Henry’s car. Henry turned to look at Leo.

“whatever is in this box caused your father a great deal of pain. Perhaps more pain then when your mother died.”

Leo felt his eyes widen at those words. He watched slightly afraid as Henry opened up the trunk of his car revealing the large cardboard box. The box was unmarking, showing no sign or indication of what might be inside it. Next to him Henry spoke again.

“Your father wanted this box to be destroyed in case you didn’t come to claim it. I can only imagine that since you’re here for it he wants you to decide what to do with it.”

Leaning down Leo touched the box, before gripping the edges and lifting it up and out of Henry’s trunk. With Henry’s help Leo moved the short distance to his own car before putting the box in the back before closing the trunk and turning to Henry.

“Thank you Henry…… thank you for what you’ve done.”

Henry smiled at Leo.

“I was your father’s friend for 30 years Leo, it’s no trouble at all. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to file the will with the courts before they close. Goodbye.”

Watching and Henry walked back towards his car Leo took a deep breath before crossing the parking lot and moving back into the church to find Venus and Mikey sitting in the front room talking softly. Mikey looked up at Leo as he entered the room, smiling at him; only to cock his head in confusion as Leo dropped down into the seat next to him looking exhausted.

“Hey…..are you ok?”

Leo remained silent for a moment trying to gather his thoughts before speaking.

“he…….he left me the house…….”

Mikey’s eyes widened at his words.

“what?”

Leo nodded his head slowly.

“I mean he left me other things to, a letter an old photo album of when my mother was pregnant with me and some kind of mystery box……but he……he left me the house.”

Mikey shifted, slowly touching his shoulder.

“are you ok?”

Sighing again Leo nodded.

“yeah……I just………”

He turned to look a Mikey, his sides shaking slightly as he spoke.

”I wanna go home.”

Mikey smiled at him before gently squeezing his shoulder.

“Then let’s go to home.”

Leo smiled weakly.

“ok.” Standing up Leo said goodbye to Venus who smiled back at him before giving him a tight hug.

“we’re family Leo. you’ll always be welcome at my home.”

Thanking Venus Leo had been about to leave the church with Mikey when a voice called to him. turning towards the voice Leo found that a large grey wolf was walking up to him. The wolf came to a stop in front of him, looking him up and down for a moment before speaking.

“so you’re Leonardo. It’s good to finally meet you. My name is Miles Finch.”

Leo was silent for a moment before speaking.

“hello…….i’m sorry I don't recognize you. Are you a friend of my dad’s?”

Miles chuckled for a moment.

“I don't think ‘friend’ is the right word but I knew your father, and we kept in contact for a number of years.”

Leo continued to look confused so the wolf elaborated further.

“I’m a detective. I contacted your father because I was assigned to investigate the suspicious death of Robert Elifson.”

Leo felt his blood turn cold. He swallowed, a rock having formed in his throat before speaking. 

“and why…..did you contact my father?”

Miles shrugged.

“well when we first found the body we worked the case under the assumption that is was a robbery gone bad. So we searched the house to find out what had been stolen. We found a number of video tapes and journal detailing…….the sexual abuse of children. At that point the investigation shifted to a possible homicide; with the assumption that one of his previous victims or perhaps someone close to them found out and murdered him.”

Leo’s blood dropped several degrees colder at this. Nervously he clenched and unclenched his hands. In front of him Miles frowned at him.

“that’s when things started to get really…..weird. You see, I had to go through and read all of the journals to find the names of the children in the tapes; and in the last journal he talks about you. But the thing is…..we never found any tapes of him molesting you, only the journals. Which leads me to two possible conclusions; one conclusion is that he was going to target you but never got the chance because he died first, and the second conclusion is that…..someone removed the tapes from the house before we got to it.”

Leo felt his eyes widen as miles continued to speak.

“Thing is, I’m mostly likely to believe in the second possibility. You see the only reason we ever found out about Elifson’s death was because one of his neighbors reporting seeing a suspicious man leaving the house in the middle of the night.”

Again Leo swallowed, painfully aware of just how dry his throat had gone. He wasn’t sure if miles was accusing him of something.

“anyways I contacted your father because I wanted to talk with you. But he said you’d both had a huge fight the night before and you’d left early for college because you were angry.”

Leo nodded slowly, his heart still hammering almost painfully in his chest.

“anyways I call every now and then, just to keep in contact with him. mostly trying to get into contact with you so I could interview you and eliminate you as a suspected…..but that never happened. the department labeled the death as an accident and we destroyed all the evidence we had found. When I heard that your father had died……well……..i guess I just wanted to see him put to rest. I hope you don't mind.”

Leo shook his head, perhaps a little to vigorously.

“No……no I don't mind. Thank you for coming.”

Miles was silent for a moment before chuckling.

“I’ll be honest…..at one point I suspected you had killed him. I mean the last entry in the last journal was the night you left for college. But your father was very insistent. You’d already left and there was no way you were still in town when Elifson had died.”

Leo nodded, his heart beat becoming several beats faster as he watched miles continue to look at him for a moment before shrugging.

“no matter. I’m retired now, and frankly anyone who can do those kinds of things to children deserves whatever fate they get. I just wanted to meet you and say hello. But I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”

Nodding Leo watched as miles smiled at him again before walking off, leaving him and Mikey alone in the front room of the church while Leo desperately tried to bring his heartbeat back under control. Next to him Mikey spoke softly.

“Leo….are you ok?”

Leo took several deep breaths before speaking.

“I wanna go home.”

He felt Mikey squeeze his hand gently.

“Ok. Let’s go then.”

A moment later they left the church, before getting into the car, turning on the engine before pulling out of the parking lot and away from the church before turning in the direction of the house that Leo had grown up in.


	14. Chapter 14

Mikey watched as Leo shut off the car’s engine before slowly turning to look out the window at the house in front of them. Mikey’s eyes scanned the slightly faded blue paint, the rose bushes that could do with some trimming, the windows which were covered in dust but were otherwise in good condition. The white fence that surrounded the front yard was well kept up, only in a few spots had the white paint flaked or chipped off. Slowly Mikey reached out to touch Leo’s hand.

“Leo……are you ok?”

He watched as Leo swallowed before speaking.

“My mother loved her rose bushes. After she died…….I tried to so hard to keep them alive. I watered and weeded them and worked until the thorns had cut my hands till they bled……but no matter what I did they just kept dying……I…..”

Leo broke off as he shifted to grip Mikey’s hand, his voice quivering with emotion as he continued to speak.

“I felt like a failure. Like if I really loved her I should have been able to keep them alive…..but they just kept dying……but now…….”

Leo felt small tears well up in his eyes as he looked over the rosebushes that were starting to go dormant for the winter but had obviously been in full bloom during the summer. Next to him Mikey spoke softly.

“Leo….are you going to be ok?”

Leo nodded, sniffing slightly as he wiped away the tears that had welled up in his eyes.

“Yeah…..I don't want to stay long…..I want to get out of town soon but…….but I……I need to do this. Ok?”

Mikey nodded, gently squeezing his hand.

“Ok.”

Slowly they got out of the car. Mikey watched as Leo’s hands shook slightly as he reached out to pull open the small gate before slowly looking around the yard. The grass was short, the flowers were starting to go dormant, but there was no doubt that the yard and garden were well cared for; tended by someone who obviously had a passion for them. Slowly they moved walking up a few small steps before stopping in front of the front door. Mikey watched as Leo slowly reached out, his fingers touching the dark wooden door, as though he were unsure if he was really here.

“The last time……the last time I touched this door……my father threw a bottle at my head…….he screamed at me that I wasn't welcome back in his home if I left…….I stormed out and never looked back. I never…..never wanted to come back. I just wanted to get away from here……as far away as I could get.”

Mikey reached out, touching Leo’s hand; winding his fingers into Leo’s before giving them a small squeeze.

“He didn’t mean it Leo…..he was just scared of loosing you.”

Leo nodded, sniffing back a fresh wave of tears as he did so. Slowly he knelt down, pulling back the welcome mat Leo smiled as he found that his father’s hide-a-key was in the same place it had always been all throughout his childhood. Picking up the key Leo paused for a moment as he ran his fingers over the small bit of metal, touching the teeth of the key he’d used so many times when he was growing up. shaking his head slightly Leo moved forward putting the key in the lock, feeling his heart speed up slightly as the lock clicked open as it unlocks. He looked to Mikey who smiled reassuringly at him.

“Ok…..”

He was speaking more to himself than anything else. Slowly Leo pushed the door open, feeling his heart clench slightly as the door gave a familiar creaking sound that he knew well from his childhood. Gently he squeezed Mikey’s hand a little tighter as they slowly took the first step into the house. Slowly Leo’s eyes scanned the living room, taking in the tv, couch, table….all of it the way he remembered it had been as a child. Yes the furniture was different, yes the TV was bigger; but everything was in the same place it had been when he’d left, in a way nothing had changed. Slowly he looked to Mikey who looked back at him for a moment before speaking.

“What now?”

Leo was silent for a moment as the possibilities washed over him; one coming to the front of his mind.

“I want to know what’s in the box.”

Nodding Mikey followed Leo back out of the house and to the car, watching as Leo opened the trunk and pulled the box out before setting it on the ground and closing the trunk. As Leo worked a small gust of wind kicked up around them, making them both shiver despite their coats.

“L….let’s do this inside where it’s warmer.”

Nodding in agreement Mikey tugged his jacket closer to his body as he helped guide Leo who carried the box; back through the yard, up the stairs and back into the living room before setting the box down on the coffee table in front of the couch. Looking down at the box Leo frowned as he found that the box was sealed shut with several thick strips of duct-tape.

“We’ll have to use a knife to cut it.”

Moving into the kitchen Leo pulled open the drawer that held kitchen knives before finding one that would work. Moving back into the living room Leo paused as a picture that hung on the wall caught his attention. He remembered when the photo had been taken. It had been at the town fair, he, his father and his mother had all gone; and had spent the day amongst the rides and stalls. In the photo a 5 year old Leo wore an oversized cowboy hat and boots while next to him his mother wore a huge grin, while his father was busy giving his mother a kiss on the cheek. Smiling Leo reached out, touching the glass that separated the photo from the world. He felt Mikey move, coming to stand next to him and look at the photo too.

“You were a cute child.”

Leo smiled but raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at Mikey.

“What do you mean were? I’m still cute.”

They were both silent for a moment before they both began to giggle. It felt good to laugh, to break the cycle of intense emotions with a bit of happiness; it felt like he hadn’t done so in a VERY long time. Moving back to the box Leo worked, the thin steel blade easily slicing through the dozen or so odd layers of duct tape that had kept the box closed. Pulling the flaps of the box apart Leo frowned as he found another envelope sitting onto of a sheet of plain brown paper, which was obviously covering something up. moving to pick up the envelope Leo found that it had been taped to the paper; the effect was that when he picked it up the paper moved, revealing what was under it……..a dozen or so old VCR tapes.

“Huh?”

Reaching down Leo picked up one of the tapes, turning it over in his hand. The tape was covered in dust, so much so that the label that had been written on it was almost unreadable. Wiping away some of the dust Leo began to read the label only to feel his blood turn cold a he found he recognized the handwriting. Instantly he dropped the tape, as though it had lashed out to attack him. Next to him he felt Mikey move in, unsure of what was wrong but still wanting to comfort him.

“Leo…..what.”

But Leo cut him off, his voice cold and confused.

“These are……HIS tapes…….”

Mikey shook his head, still not sure of what had Leo so upset.

“Leo…..I don't understand. What’s wrong?”

Leo forced himself to take a deep breath before speaking, willing his voice to not shake despite the trembling of his hands which had balled into fists.

“These are the tapes……that were made of me…..when……I was…….abused.”

Mikey’s eyes widened as he looked down at the box of tapes in horror. There were dozens of tapes, so many that he couldn't see any sight of the bottom of the box. Next to him Leo’s breaths had become ragged and pained, his entire body shaking as he looked down at the box. Inside Leo’s head a battle raged. Mikey watched as slowly Leo reached down to open the envelope that had been inside the box with the tapes. Opening the white envelope Leo pulled out the letter and began to read it out loud.

 

I couldn't protect you from him; but I could protect you from his legacy.

After you left for college I went to confront him. too demand to know if what you’d said was true. I found the backdoor wide open and found his body; and I knew what you’d said was true.

 

I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you.

I searched the house and found the tapes he’d made, I found all the ones with your name on it and stole them. Then I called the cops pretending to be a neighbor and said I’d seen a suspicious person coming from the house.

 

This box is a monument to my failure as a father.

Do whatever you want with it.

 

A moment later Leo crumpled the note in his hands before dropping it to the floor. Part of him wanted to run into town and throw these tapes at everyone who’d said he was lying; to rub this box of proof in their faces and scream at them that he hadn’t been lying; that he’d been telling the truth all along……but another part of him………

“Mikey…….in the kitchen they’re a cupboard next to the fridge…..would you please bring me what’s in it?”

Mikey nodded offing Leo a small squeeze of the hand before leaving his side to get what Leo had requested. Finding the cupboard Mikey had been about to open it when a sound from behind him made him turn. He found Leo carrying the box past him before exiting the house and moving into the backyard. Frowning Mikey pulled open the cupboard only to freeze when he saw what was inside. Slowly he reached in, gripping the two objects inside before pulling them out and following Leo into the backyard. He watched as Leo dropped the box onto the ground before picking up an old shovel which leaned against the wall of the house.

“Leo? What are you gonna do?”

Leo didn’t respond, instead he walked past the edge of the patio and into the grass before setting the shovel blade against the ground and began to dig. Moving forward Mikey spoke firmly.

“LEO.”

Leo looked up at him, his eyes filled with a kind of grim determination Mikey had never seen before; it made him fall silent. He watched as Leo turned back to the ground and continued to dig without saying a word. He watched as Leo dug until he had a hole about two feet wide and two feet deep.

“Leo……”

But Leo spoke over him.

“Give me the bottle Mikey.”

Mikey looked down at his hands. In one hand he held the bottle of vodka that had been in the cupboard, in the other hand he held….. he moved, pushing what was in his second hand into Leo’s, so he could see. He watched as Leo looked down at the photo he’d been giving. It was a high school photo from a year book. In it, a 16 year old Leo half smiled, his head slightly turned trying to hide true signs of a bruise on his cheek. Across the bottom of the photo the words, NEVER AGAIN had been written in bright red ink. Leo felt his breath hitch in his chest as he looked at the photo. He remembered when this had been taken. The night before he and his father had gotten into a huge argument which had resulted in his father hitting him because he was being ‘disrespectful’. Swallowing painfully Leo spoke.

“Please Mikey……..give me the bottle.”

Mikey looked at him, for a moment before handing over the bottle of vodka, watching as Leo turned it over in his hands. As Leo’s eyes scanned the vodka he found it was his father’s favorite brand, but what truly caught his attention was that it was unopened. Slowly his eyes shifted upwards, finding the date that had been printed on the bottle……..almost 15 years ago. The meaning of this hit him full force, strong enough to make him sway slightly as tears began to well up in his eyes. He felt Mikey move, coming to grip his hand before leading him back to the patio and down into a small folding chair.

“Leo……speak to me…..what’s going on?”

Leo sniffed loudly, as he wiped away the tears that clung to his skin before speaking.

“This is his favorite brand…..and he bought it 15 years ago. I………..I think he quit drinking.”

Next to him Mikey, smiled before touching the hand that still held the photograph.

“He wanted to change. To be a better man than the one you knew. He loved you.”

Leo nodded, closing his eyes for a moment as a fresh wave of guilt and pain washed over him. His father had tried to change. To become a better man; and yet it had all been for nothing. Leo’s anger hand blinded him, he’d never given his father a chance. Growling Leo opened his eyes before standing up. He grabbed the edge of the box and hurled it into the hole he’d dug before twisting the cap off the vodka and turning it upside down, emptying the entire bottle on top of the plastic tapes. As the last drops of liquid fell from the bottle he moved, digging into his pocket to get his father’s lighter which he’d grabbed before coming out here. Flicking the metal cap open Leo snapped his wrist watching as a single orange and red flame blossomed into existence in front of his eyes. Taking several deep breaths he spoke, more to himself than to Mikey who remained silent as he watched.

“For 20 years these tapes have ruined my life. Not anymore.”

He dropped the lighter into the hole; watching as the small flame touched a spot of vodka only to ignite it with a loud ‘SWOOSH’. Almost at once the box and the tapes inside burst into flames. He watched, as the black plastic of the tapes, cracked and broke before slowly beginning to bubble as they melted. He felt Mikey move, coming to stand next to him before slipping his hand into Leo’s as he too watched the tapes burn. He watched as the flames, lashed and ripped at the tapes, destroying them and the horrors they contained. Neither of them spoke as they watched the flames. They just stood there, hand in hand; sharing the moment with each other as the flames slowly destroyed the tapes until there was nothing left but a twisted, puddle of black sludge. As the flames began to die down Leo shifted, moving to grab the shovel and begin to fill the hole back in. He watched as each shovelful of dirt chocked the flames, making them die. Only once the hole was completely filled in did Leo speak.

“come on……let’s go home.”

Mikey nodded, taking the hand that Leo was holding out for him.

 

LATER

 

The drive back home was slow, but at the same time fast. Time seemed to move very slowly inside the car as they drove. Leo hardly spoke, his eyes remaining locked on the road as he drove. Yet despite this slowing of time, they soon found themselves back home; passing by the local shops, and the college before turning onto the street they lived on before…….

Mikey cocked his head slightly as he found that Raph's jeep was in front of Leo’s house. Inside the house the lights were on and Mikey could easily see people move around inside. Pulling into the garage Mikey had been about to get out of the car when Leo’s hand touched his making him stop. He looked at Leo who wore a kind of sad smile across his face.

“Thank you.”

Mikey cocked his head.

“For what?”

Leo took a deep breath.

“For…..everything. you didn’t have to come with me but you did. You didn’t have to put up with family’s bullshit but you did. You’ve…….you kept me from going crazy. Because of you……..I have my father back, in a sense. I just…….thank you.”

Mikey smiled back at Leo before leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“We’re together Leo. My problems are your problems, and your problems are my problems. Ok?”

Leo smiled and nodded.

“OK.”

After planting another kiss on Leo’s cheek Mikey hopped out of the car before moving into the house with Leo behind him. he’d seen his brother’s jeep in front of the house and he was curious to know why his brother was there.

“Raph?”

His voice was met with a small grunt as Raph called to him from another room in the house.

“In the living room.”

Moving through the hallway Mikey entered the living room only to feel a large smile spread across his face. In front of him Raph and Donnie had been hard at work, moving furniture before setting up a large Christmas tree that now stood in the corner of the room.

“Welcome back. Do you like it?” 

Mikey nodded, feeling Leo come to a stop behind him as he looked at the tree.

“It’s……big.”

Across from them Donnie appeared from behind the tree.

“I hope so. It’s gotta fit all our presents under it.”

Leo raised an eyebrow but smiled.

“Then it’s perfect.”

Mikey glanced upwards, seeing Leo’s face smiling put his heart at ease. He and Leo moved into the living room; moving to help hang the remaining ornaments on the tree. As they worked Mikey gave Raph a hug.

“Thank you.”

Raph hugged him back.

“What are big brothers for?”

For a while things felt almost normal. Mikey and Leo changed clothes, before moving to help Raph and Donnie decorate. As they worked Leo pulled Donnie aside for a moment.

“hey….thank you for doing this.”

Donnie shrugged.

“it’s nothing. I figured you’d been busy enough that you hadn’t gotten around to decorating so I figured Raph and I could help.”

Leo smiled and touched Donnie’s shoulder.

“I……..thank you.”

Donnie nodded before moving in a little closer, while speaking softly.

“so……how did it go?”

Leo sighed and smiled weakly.

“it went………ok. I got my ass emotionally kicked a few times. And a friend showed me just how badly I’d treated my father over the years but……….honestly……I feel free. For the first time in years I don’t feel like there’s this dark little secret that is following me around. I feel……free.”

Donnie smiled at him.

“good.”

As Donnie turned to go back to decorating Leo touched his hand making him stop.

“hey……..I…..I just wanted to say……..I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you all those years ago. I was just……I was so mad at everyone. And I took it out on you…..and I’m sorry. ”

Donnie sighed before smiling at him again.

“it’s ok Leo. I understand. I just………I wasn't the person you needed; Mikey is.”

Leo smiled sheepishly at Donnie who smiled back. Leo opened his mouth to say more when Raph cut him off.

“hey are you two gunna help at all or are Mikey and I going to do all the work?”

 

Soon the house had changed, becoming much more festive as tinsel and garland added shades of green, complete with a small bundle of mistletoe that hung in the doorway; an opportunity Leo used to pull Mikey into his arms before planting a gentle kiss on his lips. As they finished decorating the tree Leo spoke.

“I’m hungry.”

There was a general murmur of agreement from Donnie, Raph, and Mikey.

“So what sounds good to eat?”

All 3 of his guests spoke at once.

“PIZZA!”

Leo smiled and jerked his attention back towards the bedroom.

“Let me and Mikey just get out jackets and then we can go.”

 

Raph watched as Leo and Mikey vanished down the hallway; only turning to look at Donnie when he was sure they were gone. His eyes flicked towards the doorway to the kitchen where the mistletoe hung. Making up his mind Raph grabbed Donnie’s wrist before leading him into the doorway.

“Raph what are-”

But Raph interrupted Donnie’s words by pressing his lips to Donnie’s. The kiss was short but passionate. As they pulled apart Raph spoke.

“Merry Christmas.”

Raph grinned at Donnie who blushed sheepishly for a moment before leaning in to capture Raph's lips. Raph groaned as he felt Donnie’s tongue flick across his lips. He took charge, pushing Donnie until his shell was pressed against the door frame. His hand moved, running down Donnie’s chest making the purple turtle shudder and groan as the kiss prolonged. He felt Donnie’s hands move too, wrapping around his neck, encouraging him to deepen the kiss which he did, enjoying the groan that slipped past Donnie’s lips. The kiss only ended when their lungs burned for air, making them pull apart but not away; instead resting their foreheads against each other’s. for several seconds the world was silent as they looked at each other. Rah leaned in, ready to claim Donnie’s lips again.

“what have we here?”

Both of them flinched, their eyes snapping to Leo and Mikey who stood in the doorway. Leo had a slightly amused smile on his face while Mikey had a look of slightly confusion. Raph felt his face heat up as they broke part. Next to him Donnie spoke nervously.

“I……um…..I had some tinsel in my eye and Raph was helping me to get it out.”

It was a lame excuse. In the doorway Leo smiled at them.

“what you two do in your personal lives is your business.”

Next to him Mikey continued to look confused for a moment before comprehension flashed across his face.

“Raph…..are you-”

But Raph cut him off.

“I’m not gay. I just………..”

He wasn't sure what made him do it. wasn't sure what made him reach over and pull Donnie’s hand into his before continuing to speak.

“I just……don't mind so long as it’s Donnie who’s kissing me. Got it?”

The last words came out vaguely threatening. As though daring them to laugh or argue with him. Leo continued to smile while Mikey giggled.

“ok Raph…..whatever you say……you big softy.”

Raph growled warningly at Mikey who ignored him and continued to giggle as they moved to leave the house..

 

MEANWHILE

 

He'd been here for hours. He’d watched as the purple and red turtle had gone into the house and had begun to decorate. In a way he supposed that was cute. But they weren’t his target. Then a new car had pulled up, the owner of the house had pulled into the garage. He readied himself. For over an hour he watched the house, waiting for the chance to see his target. Above him the sky darkened as nighttime rolled around. He’d been about to call it a day when he’d seen movement. The front door had opened and a turtle stepped out of the house. He readied himself, angling his camera towards the house ready to capture a picture of his target. He watched as a blue turtle came out first, then a purple one then a red one and finally……..he readied himself as the last turtle, his target; slowly left the house. Pressing the button he heard the flurry of metallic clicks as his camera snapped a dozen photos of the orange banded turtle.

 

“Found you.”


End file.
